The More Pleasure I Have, the More Money I Make with Susan Hyatt

[00:00:00] Allyson Scammell: Hello, dear ones. I am so excited for this episode. We have a super, super special guest. Someone who has made a really profound influence on me for years. This guest was my coaching instructor when I first got started, I received my coaching and my master coaching certification from Martha Beck and this person worked as an instructor for the Martha Beck Institute and I just, she, her business has grown and taken off over the years.

[00:00:38] Allyson Scammell: Back then this was 2014. Her business was thriving, but it was nowhere near what it is today, and she has been such a spectacular role model for coaches and entrepreneurs who want to run a thriving business that’s in alignment to your gifts without burning out, making impact, making a scene, which is one of the things she talks about, not holding back.

[00:01:08] Allyson Scammell: And I have to say one thing about special guest, who is Susan Hyatt. I had to say one thing about her that really, like it really touched me from this episode. And that is, I knew her as a teacher, right? And we were in a group setting so I didn’t get the opportunity to have one on one with her. And then I’ve watched her grow.

[00:01:30] Allyson Scammell: She has a great presence on social media and I, you know, I’ve attended some of her group classes over the years, but this interview was the first time I really got to connect deep with her one on one. And the thing that touched me so much is her authenticity. Like she connected with me, and I experienced her exactly as I imagined her to be, because when she’s out on social media and when she’s in her classes, she is just herself and it’s so refreshing.

[00:02:01] Allyson Scammell: And it was such amazing modeling for me because that’s how I always want to show up. And I always want to be, uh, I, I, I would love for you if you’ve never hung out with me one on one to hang out with me someday and say, oh my gosh, Allyson you’re, you’re just, as I imagined you because everywhere I, where I’ve experienced you up until this point you’ve showed up so authentically and we have a super spectacular topic to explore.

[00:02:33] Allyson Scammell: I love the title of this episode. The more pleasure I have, the more money I make. And I have to say, I have heard that, I heard that when I was first starting my business and I thought, you know what? That just sounds unfair. That just sounds like people who have a lot of money get to say that because they’ve got a lot of money and so they can afford pleasure.

[00:02:58] Allyson Scammell: And then when I really decided to lean into it a little bit and infuse more joy and pleasure and rest most importantly into my day and my week, that is truly when my business took off. So, I can say I truly experience this for myself, and I’ve seen so many of my clients experience the more pleasure they infuse into their life,

[00:03:25] Allyson Scammell: the more successful their career becomes their business becomes, but then their overall life experience elevates. So why don’t we go ahead and get to it. In today’s episode, Susan and I explore why more pleasure expands into more money, how to give yourself permission to add more pleasure to your life and how to get your loved ones

[00:03:53] Allyson Scammell: on board. Boy, do we unpack that last one? We end on an invitation that will have you understanding pleasure in a whole new way to make it a non-negotiable part of your life and business. So indeed, you can start experiencing next level abundance. So, I promise you, you’re gonna wanna stay with us until the end.

[00:04:19] Allyson Scammell: Welcome to soul guide radio, a podcast for soul guided leaders, influencers, and entrepreneurs here to bring about change on a massive level. We’ll explore how you can activate your big soul mission, amplify your spiritual gifts, and clear the energy blocks weighing you down so you can gain unstoppable momentum in life and business.

[00:04:43] Allyson Scammell: I’m Allyson Scammel your host and soul guide.

[00:04:54] Allyson Scammell: Hey there, soul guide circle. That is the name of this community of soul guided leaders, influencers, and entrepreneurs. In the soul guide circle, we have big soul missions, and we earn to earn more, serve more and grow spiritually along the way. If you aren’t already a member, then I invite you to join our Facebook group of nearly 2000 leaders and light workers who are in service to each other

[00:05:18] Allyson Scammell: and the planet. Find a link to join on my website, allysonscammell.com or in the show notes. Today’s guest is Susan Hyatt. Susan Hyatt has 15 years of experience as a master certified life and business coach, helping thousands of women get more of what they want. She has been featured on national TV and in magazines like O the Oprah magazine, Cosmopolitan, 17, and Women’s World.

[00:05:50] Allyson Scammell: Susan wrote the bestselling book BARE that has inspired women all over the world to stop shrinking their bodies and start expanding their lives. We had so much fun exploring this topic.

[00:06:15] Allyson Scammell: I am so excited to welcome Susan Hyatt to soul guide radio. 

[00:06:19] Susan Hyatt: Thank you, Allyson. I am so excited to be here. 

[00:06:23] Allyson Scammell: Yay. I was telling you that I’m positioning this episode to release during a big podcast, gearing up some enthusiasm week for soul guide radio. And you’re gonna be, you are my celebrity guest. Listen, I don’t know how I got the 

[00:06:38] Susan Hyatt: label 

[00:06:39] Allyson Scammell: of celebrity, but I will take it.

[00:06:43] Allyson Scammell: So, in 2014, eight years ago, which just seems really hard to believe. I did my first life coach training with Martha Beck and Susan was my teacher. And you like, literally, this is crazy, Susan, you stood out for me, I loved all the coaches. Yeah. And like all the teachers were great and awesome and I’m in touch with a lot of ’em, but you stood out and there was a lot of reasons why, but the number one reason you stood out as, as the, the teacher, the, the, the coach trainer to me was the way you answered questions.

[00:07:19] Allyson Scammell: It just spoke to me. Because I feel like in the coaching world, we can be like, oh, okay that’s an interesting question. Well, it just depends on the client. It depends on the mood, and it depends on how you feel. And it depends on the positioning of the stars. And I just loved how you took a stance, and it wasn’t like we were talking about politics or religion, you know, we were talking about coaching.

[00:07:40] Allyson Scammell: Right, but you were just so clear. I remember someone asking you, Susan, when did you launch your first group program? And I think the other teachers would’ve been like, well, oh, it depends on your business. And it depends on you. And you were just like, oh, well this is when I did it. And I was in business this long, and this is what I did it.

[00:07:55] Allyson Scammell: And of course, it depends on you, but, and I just loved the way you just took a stance. And to this day, I remember that. And I even remember the questions people asked you. 

[00:08:04] Susan Hyatt: That is amazing. First of all, that is the first time I’ve heard that as an answer as why I stood out. It just clarity in responding to questions.

[00:08:14] Susan Hyatt: I do think that I love teaching and I love helping coaches get the business and the life that they want and so I love that that came through to you to being just clear and taking a stand on my answers. Thank you. Yeah. 

[00:08:32] Allyson Scammell: I mean, it was more than that, but that’s just the thing that I admire because I think I get a little bit too people pleasing in my answers and I’m like, oh, I wanna answer in such a way that nobody could have their feelings hurt and the

[00:08:44] Allyson Scammell: answers get very watered down when that happens. 

[00:08:47] Susan Hyatt: It’s true, that does happen. And I certainly spent a lot of my adulthood as a people pleaser, so I totally get what you’re saying and I think that even recently I’ve had some things where my husband said to me, he would, he, because right as coaches we’ll, we will say to our clients, oh, you don’t wanna hurt their feelings.

[00:09:08] Susan Hyatt: But in the meantime, you’re hurting your own feelings by not being honest and not saying what needs to be said, like what truth is left unsaid. And I still sometimes grapple with like, oh right, I’m doing that thing again, where I think I can protect people’s feelings from the truth when the, the reality is.

[00:09:29] Susan Hyatt: Everybody wins even if the truth isn’t necessarily what you wanna hear, but especially in teaching and especially in coach training, I think 

[00:09:36] Susan Hyatt: coaches really need to know what’s up instead of a lot of misleading guidance that can be out there. It’s like, you know, doing this for 15 years and now look at you doing this since 2014, you know, we’ve learned some things and I think it’s imperative that we help coaches coming right out of the gate with the truth.

[00:09:59] Allyson Scammell: Yes. Yeah, I think that’s it. And I feel like that’s what you did. And I feel like you modeled that for me. And it was just really powerful. And it’s stayed with me to this day. 

[00:10:10] Susan Hyatt: That has made my day. That’s better than this cup of 

[00:10:13] Allyson Scammell: coffee. Thank you. So, I want, I’m so excited about this topic because I’ve come a long way with infusing more pleasure in my life and my business, but I’m not there yet.

[00:10:25] Allyson Scammell: And I have a lot to learn, and I feel like you’re such an expert on like how we can live life from a more balanced and harmonious way. And we can, we can put up boundaries and tools and have things, so we don’t go into burnout cuz I really like I wrote the book on burnout, so I know I know about it. So, I am so excited to unpack this with you.

[00:10:47] Allyson Scammell: And I do have to share. I was telling Susan beforehand, I am recording in the Pheasant Canteen podcast studio in Aberdeen, South Dakota. Cause I am home visiting my parents, so she she’s cool. She gets to see this cool photo of a man eating a pheasant sandwich behind me. This like gives me so much pleasure, honestly, 

[00:11:08] Susan Hyatt: to see, right?

[00:11:09] Susan Hyatt: Like humor and laughter is part of it. Like, look at your life, 

[00:11:13] Allyson Scammell: Allyson you get 

[00:11:14] Susan Hyatt: to sit in that studio and still drop these gems to all your people. So, you are winning 

[00:11:21] Allyson Scammell: today. Thank you so much. So, let’s get into. We’ve been taught that, you know, we’ve got all this social conditioning. If you wanna be successful, you have to work hard, you know, work hard.

[00:11:34] Allyson Scammell: You know, success comes at a price, you know, time is money, all the things. And that’s so hard to unwrite and rewrite, but it’s doable and we can, so just talk about, like, from your perspective, from your experience, like why does more pleasure actually equal more success and more money in your business?

[00:11:55] Susan Hyatt: This is the hardest thing for most of my entrepreneurs to believe and to essentially embody, but once they do, they’re like, I didn’t believe you. I can’t tell you how many entrepreneurs or clients have said, I didn’t believe you at first, but then I decided to trust you and like, now look, right and so the reason why it works, so you’re correct, like culture at large,

[00:12:21] Susan Hyatt: the patriarchy wants us to keep pedaling real hard and to earn our keep or to earn our worth and I don’t know about you, but I grew up in a house where like, if you were too idle or resting too much, I mean, my mom or dad what they were gonna give you a job, like, like what, what are you doing lounging around?

[00:12:46] Susan Hyatt: And so, it could be family of origin, but even if your family wasn’t super productivity focused culture at large is, and the truth of the matter is that we, our bodies are wired. We’re wired from head to toe for pleasure. So, we come into this world, literally wired to receive pleasure in a multitude of ways

[00:13:12] Susan Hyatt: and culture teaches us that dessert comes after we eat a well-balanced meal and play comes after you earn it through work. And the reverse is actually true. When we, especially for women, if we deny our physical bodies, what it’s wired to naturally receive, then what happens is burnout. And then what happens is, you know, our hormones going out of whack and then what happens is our metabolism in the toilet and all of these things, sleep disruption, depression.

[00:13:47] Susan Hyatt: And so, it has been really interesting over the years to experiment with, okay, well, what would happen if I became a woman who was devoted to her own pleasure and figured out how to diversify my pleasure, right? Because we, we tend to, because this is so contrary to how we’re raised, we can get it real twisted with what pleasure really even is.

[00:14:12] Susan Hyatt: And it’s like, oh, it’s a mani/pedi and truth of the matter is my nails are horrible right now because I hate sitting for a mani/pedi, right. It’s maintenance. I’m going, I’m going, cuz I have an event that starts tomorrow night, but that’s not what we’re talking about necessarily unless you’re someone who feels like that’s a pleasurable activity, there’s physical pleasure.

[00:14:36] Susan Hyatt: Yes, there’s intimacy, but that’s just one part of it. There’s intellectual pleasure. There’s spiritual pleasure, which is what you’re all about and learning how to create an atmosphere of pleasure throughout your everyday life is what eventually sets up the conditions for you to thrive at your highest level.

[00:14:56] Allyson Scammell: Oh, I love it. Spiritual pleasure. Oh my gosh. That is, 

[00:15:01] Susan Hyatt: that honestly is the most neglected category of pleasure. 

[00:15:07] Allyson Scammell: That is really fantastic. Yeah. I just relate to what you’re saying so much. I often say that my dad, who’s a great guy. He would be happier when I was a kid if I robbed a bank than if I were lazy.

[00:15:20] Allyson Scammell: yes, right. 

[00:15:23] Susan Hyatt: Lazy is the ultimate right? Was the 

[00:15:25] Allyson Scammell: ultimate. Yeah. Yeah. So, I so relate to that and I love what you’re saying that we’re wired for pleasure. And it just like, I feel the truth of that in every cell of my body, as I, as I hear you say that, and you know what else I felt as you were saying it, like how I’ve been fighting against that truth for my whole life.

[00:15:45] Allyson Scammell: Yeah. 

[00:15:47] Susan Hyatt: Yeah. I mean, if you think about just how we live our lives, And how pleasure deprived we are typically until we really start to think about it, right. Because right from your father, who is a great guy, well, meaning guy, he learned it too, like being lazy is the ultimate problem. Can’t be lazy. Can’t be loafing around.

[00:16:13] Susan Hyatt: You have to be a productive member of society, and that has rules and implications. And to be it’s, it’s a radical act for a woman to say, no, I’m going to actually prioritize my rest. I’m going to prioritize fun. I’m gonna prioritize decadence. I’m going to indulge myself. These things are so wildly uncomfortable for women like you and me who have been raised to be super productive and get the gold star and perform and jump through the hoops that it really is a miracle for me to be able to witness women reclaiming that because that’s 

[00:17:00] Allyson Scammell: our birthright.

[00:17:01] Allyson Scammell: Yeah, beautiful reclaiming our birthright. So take us through, I like how you were saying devoting ourselves to our own pleasure. Mm-hmm and so how can we start? Or, you know, how can we start rewiring our brains and rewiring our prioritization list to start to put rest, pleasure, fun, more, more higher up until it gets to the top, because I know it’s a journey.

[00:17:30] Allyson Scammell: And I know it doesn’t happen overnight, although I wish it would. For me, it’s been a real journey. Like every year, I get a little better with this, but take us through like how you help women start the journey and, get through to the other side, so to speak. I probably, we never really ever get there

[00:17:47] Allyson Scammell: all the way. Right. There’s always another way more pleasure you could tap into. Right. Right. 

[00:17:52] Susan Hyatt: So, I think the first step is really becoming an investigative reporter in your life. Often when I start talking about this, women are so overwhelmed with what they have to do, whether it’s career or family, plus the invisible workload, you know, this invisible backpack that all women are carrying around where we are,

[00:18:16] Susan Hyatt: we are basically the keepers of all the things and the ones that are carrying the emotional burden for our families and those around us. So, we, so we have a job and a part-time invisible job. And when I start talking about pleasure and prioritizing pleasure, most women are like, okay, that sounds like an additional part-time job and I’m not, I don’t have time to even think about this.

[00:18:41] Susan Hyatt: And so really the first step is to do what I call an environmental detox, which is to just pay attention for, go through your daily life and pay attention to what are all the things that you are expected to do, whether it’s your own expectation or others, let’s take a look at things that are draining your energy.

[00:19:05] Susan Hyatt: So, whether it’s conversations or things that you’re tolerating in your social media timeline or conversations at work. It’s really difficult to start becoming a woman who’s devoted to your own pleasure, unless you figure out where all of those energy leaks are. And like, what is it that you’re tolerating that we need to address so that we can then say, okay, I need to prioritize my sleep more, or I’m actually gonna start getting up a little bit earlier so that I can have quiet time before these kids get up out of bed, or I’m gonna stop going into the company break room for lunch, because I notice I get a migraine when I eat lunch in there and listen to all the drama,

[00:19:55] Susan Hyatt: right. And so, it for everyone. It’s interesting because there are so many similarities with my clients, but then everyone’s unique in their experience and the way they’re living their lives is unique. So, we need to get some Intel about what do we need to clean up. So that’s why I call it an environmental detox because some of these things are simple, but maybe not easy.

[00:20:17] Susan Hyatt: And so there may be some coaching involved with like, okay, what do you say to your coworkers when you decide you’re not gonna eat lunch with them anymore? Or how do you address your mother-in-law dropping over unexpected or, you know, what other things, and then we can move into, okay. Here are all the different categories of pleasure.

[00:20:42] Susan Hyatt: Let’s brainstorm. And then what do you wanna address first? And it’s interesting because some clients are like, no, no, no. I take care of myself. I have plenty of pleasure. I go get massages. I go shopping. I go out to eat, but then if we start looking at like, okay, well, what about, are you moving your body?

[00:21:05] Susan Hyatt: Like, how’s, how’s your physical pleasure? Are you experiencing real intimacy with yourself or others? What about your spiritual practices and your spiritual life? What about aesthetically, beauty in your physical surroundings? And there’s usually one major area to hit on first. And then we can start, like you said, every year, being like, you know what,

[00:21:29] Susan Hyatt: I feel like I’m pretty solid with the way I move. I feel like I’m pretty solid with the way I adorn myself, but I would like to have better friends. Let me start to think about that kind of intimacy this year. 

[00:21:42] Allyson Scammell: So good. I love the investigative reporter. It makes me think of an article you posted on Facebook a year or two ago.

[00:21:50] Allyson Scammell: I don’t remember when. And you, you were talking about the leisure gap between men and women. Oh my gosh. That hit me because there’s such a gap with my lovely husband. But there’s a huge, like weekend leisure gap. And that really was like, whoa, that is just not cool. Like, I don’t want this gap.

[00:22:11] Allyson Scammell: This gap sucks. this gap sucks, but I didn’t even, it’s like, I hadn’t done the investigative journalism to even see that it was happening. Yeah. Well, 

[00:22:21] Susan Hyatt: because most of us that’s how we’re raised and we can’t pinpoint, like, why is it that I’m doing all this and in heterosexual relationships, and he seems to be having all this extra time.

[00:22:38] Susan Hyatt: And so, you know, the more research I get to back up my mouth, my husband’s just like, oh my God, because we were actually talking about it as a family when we were just in Berlin, my daughter was laughing because, you know, of course there’s the wage gap and the confidence gap and the leisure gap. And I’m also talking about the orgasm gap, and she was like, oh my gosh, so good.

[00:23:03] Susan Hyatt: Right. And she was really leaning into that and talking about there’s a book called why women have better sex under socialism. And I was like, okay, mind blown because the invisible workload exists less when certain things are in place. But anyway, this is not a commercial for socialism. I’m just saying it was an interesting discussion as a family.

[00:23:25] Susan Hyatt: And my husband’s like great more research to prove that I gotta get off my ass, but it’s true, like he has, 

[00:23:32] Allyson Scammell: he has actual 

[00:23:35] Susan Hyatt: hobbies that he devotes his time to unapologetically and it took me a while to catch up to that and to say, you know what, like, why am I the one keeping everything going while you go do your thing, which happens to be race car driving?

[00:23:54] Susan Hyatt: I don’t think so. I think I’m gonna go do X, Y, Z. And this has been, you know, we’ve been married almost 30 years. So, this has evolved over the years, but Allyson I’m still finding ways where I’m like, why am I making sure the dogs have boarding kennels when we go on vacation? How about you take of 

[00:24:17] Allyson Scammell: that?

[00:24:19] Allyson Scammell: I’ve found with my partner. He and I think again, yeah, like this is, I don’t know. I, I hate to say like, women are this way and men are that way. But I talk to a lot of friends who relate to me with their spouses, that many men don’t see it. They don’t like my partner in particular really feels like he does so much.

[00:24:39] Allyson Scammell: Right. And, and, and, and, and well, the, the reality is I do so, so, so much more. And so, I’ve found, I said to him once about this research, like present the facts, don’t be emotional. You know, that just leads to fights. That’s not really helpful all the time. Right. Maybe sometimes a good fight’s in order, but usually, right.

[00:24:58] Allyson Scammell: It’s you’re right. So, I just was like, so I started presenting facts to him just in terms of like, I spent this many hours on Saturday doing laundry, doing this, the other thing. And then all of a sudden, when the facts started to show up, I did notice a big shift in him. He’s like, oh 

[00:25:15] Susan Hyatt: yeah. That’s awesome.

[00:25:17] Susan Hyatt: Yeah, it actually is true that when, I mean, men enjoy and have enjoyed a certain level of privilege, you know, for all this time. So, when they’re presented with something that’s contrary to that, it feels like an attack. And you know, when my children were younger, they’re 21 and 23 now, but when they were really little and we were in couples therapy about some of this stuff, I didn’t have the words or the research for this stuff then, but I would just say

[00:25:48] Susan Hyatt: you do not do as much as me and I would, I would wish for, I would be like, I wish there was a hidden camera crew that could follow us each around and we would get a scorecard. This is how pathetic, 

[00:26:01] Allyson Scammell: and 

[00:26:01] Susan Hyatt: my scorecard would show that I do so much more. And he would be like, you know, I take out the trash and I do like whatever pathetic list he had.

[00:26:11] Susan Hyatt: And I would be like, friend, Okay, that does not match this list, but now all this time later that I have words for it. And I can have a conversation about, like, you’re saying, like, here are the facts. Here’s what research shows. You know, if, if we say we’re going to share the responsibility of cooking then that doesn’t mean on your night it’s pizza night or, you know what I mean?

[00:26:38] Susan Hyatt: Right, right. Come up with all this stuff to like skirt around what he said he would split. And, and though Allyson even what’s interesting is that even if you had a checklist of like chores you could document. Okay. Car maintenance, taxes, household stuff, whatever. The research also shows that women carry the emotional burden for families, communities, office spaces, meaning we are raised to manage the moods of everyone.

[00:27:09] Susan Hyatt: And so, in addition to just chores, it’s like we are the ones that have been raised and conditioned to be like, You know, let me be the buffer over here between these two, or let me try to set everything up and away, so there’s not a tantrum or a meltdown. And it’s really, that’s where my work is to notice with my adult children, with my family unit

[00:27:37] Susan Hyatt: that I’m not intervening in a way that causes me to have the emotional burden. It can happen over text with my adult children and my husband and me. And I’m like, oh my God, I’m doing it again. I’m like jumping in on a group text to try to diffuse a situation. It’s really fascinating work. 

[00:27:59] Allyson Scammell: It is fascinating. Oh my gosh.

[00:28:01] Allyson Scammell: I relate to this so much. And so fascinating about the emotional support. I mean, that’s like, that’s huge, right? Because it, I mean, energetically speaking. Yes. 

[00:28:12] Susan Hyatt: The capacity, the emotional and energetic capacity that is depleted. So then right, even if all of the visible work is evenly divided. There’s the invisible, emotional work

[00:28:29] Susan Hyatt: that’s not, that can keep us from closing the wage gap and closing the leisure gap because we’re so worn out from doing all that other stuff. 

[00:28:40] Allyson Scammell: Yeah. Yeah. I remember when I was working up to taking Fridays off, fun Friday, just for me, whatever and I finally got there. I finally got to; I was giving myself permission.

[00:28:51] Allyson Scammell: I had my schedule organized, I was bundling tasks, doing all the things. And then, so I started taking Fridays off and I was just whatever I felt like doing, or that’s when I would plan self-care stuff. And then my husband was like, ugh, wouldn’t it be nice to take Fridays off? And he really gave me this guilt trip and I was like, oh, I, you know, I don’t wanna, like, I just need to own this.

[00:29:12] Allyson Scammell: Like I’m doing this, and he can try to make me feel guilty, but I, you know, I don’t need to feel guilty, but getting back to more pleasure, more money. I started to getting back to just presenting the facts. I started making more money in my business. I mean, it was, it, it felt like a direct correlation. The second I started to give myself more time and space,

[00:29:36] Allyson Scammell: all of a sudden, my business started to take off. And then all of a sudden, he started to stop giving me a hard time about it, 

[00:29:44] Susan Hyatt: right. That, that actually is such a great example. First of all, congratulations. Thank you. That you’re taking fun Fridays and my husband too, not so much about Fridays, but it, when I started going on like business planning retreats for myself, I remember I signed up for a writing retreat in Hawaii and my copywriter,

[00:30:08] Susan Hyatt: she was my copywriter for 10 years, would offer these writing retreats as a bonus for like having her on retainer and all this stuff. Anyway, I remember the first time I was going to Maui, he was like, oh, a work trip. And he was sort of like that kind of thing, wouldn’t it be nice. Y’all aren’t gonna get any work done.

[00:30:30] Susan Hyatt: And he was, he was a little condescending about it, and I remember I went and I I’m a real old school journaler. Like I like to write with my pen instead of a laptop. I mean, I use my laptop obviously, but I took so many notes about program ideas and business ideas while I was there and then I came home and implemented and I was able to present the facts, like say six, nine months later, I remember saying,

[00:31:00] Susan Hyatt: this is my journal from Maui, and you’ll see here on this page, I came up with this program idea and you see here this P and L spreadsheet of how much money I made from that program. He never said another 

[00:31:14] Allyson Scammell: word about me going 

[00:31:16] Susan Hyatt: on these trips. He’s like, go take off, go, go, go do that. But it is interesting that fun Fridays and going to Maui for business,

[00:31:28] Susan Hyatt: is very different than how people think work should be. 

[00:31:33] Allyson Scammell: Yes. I so love that. You told that story because I’m about to take my first real big girl business retreat. I’m going to Columbia to the jungle. What? Yeah, that’s amazing. Thank you. And you know, I have a five-year-old and so, you know, I never travel.

[00:31:53] Allyson Scammell: You know, I just don’t because, you know, I’m usually, I’m the primary caretaker, so I’m usually just with her and my husband just had, he was kind of, he’s like the pendulum he’ll be supportive and then he’ll be like, what a boondoggle? What are you? You’re just gonna be, you know, treking through the jungle, having fun.

[00:32:14] Allyson Scammell: How’s that gonna grow your business? And I am gonna do exactly what you did. I’m gonna bring my journal. I love to journal too. I’m gonna take my notes. I’m gonna do the things. And then in six to nine months, I’m gonna say, huh? Huh? What a boondoggle huh? first off, I kinda love that he used 

[00:32:32] Susan Hyatt: that word. And secondly, yes, we are gonna be talking about this boondoggle for years because you are gonna go to that jungle and you’re gonna get 

[00:32:42] Allyson Scammell: all that jungle, divine guidance.

[00:32:44] Allyson Scammell: That’s right. Yep. And you’re gonna come back and 

[00:32:46] Susan Hyatt: make that jungle money. I am so excited. I can’t 

[00:32:50] Allyson Scammell: even stand it. no, I’m like, literally, so you’ve activated me so much with that story. You just told the Maui story because I’m like, oh, I’m gonna do the same thing. Oh yeah. Yeah. And it just feels good.

[00:33:03] Allyson Scammell: It does feel good. 

[00:33:04] Susan Hyatt: And listen, I remember the first trip that I took, and it wasn’t something as fun as Columbia. I think it was more like Scottsdale Arizona. It was actually to go for my Martha Beck training cuz back then it was in person, which is so cool by the way. Yeah, it was cool.

[00:33:24] Susan Hyatt: Cool. 

[00:33:24] Allyson Scammell: I remember he 

[00:33:25] Susan Hyatt: had a problem with he, not a problem. He was just suspicious and sort of side eyeing, like what y’all gonna even be doing. And it’s a big deal when you’re the primary caregiver to, to claim that time. And so, congratulations for doing that, cuz I think it’ll. I think this is gonna be a real pivotal exercise for you, for sure

[00:33:46] Susan Hyatt: in many, in many ways. I remember your, 

[00:33:50] Allyson Scammell: the early videos, the Martha Beck videos, and you were like Martha’s helper. Yeah. Yeah. I forgot about that. That’s right. Do you remember the, I love to vomit? Yes. The arm test. The arm test. Yeah. 

[00:34:05] Susan Hyatt: Yeah, I forgot. I was in, in some of those videos. Yeah. There’s like some real, like archived, hilarious stuff out there, but yeah, 

[00:34:16] Allyson Scammell: it was good stuff.

[00:34:17] Allyson Scammell: Good stuff. Yeah. That I love it. So, okay. This is so good. I feel like we’re just having this, sharing our, our story, but I hear it so often from my clients that their partner is not supportive of a variety of things to include their taking time out for their own pleasure. Mm-hmm. And so, I feel like you and I chatting about this is really gonna be activating for people because I think it is true.

[00:34:40] Allyson Scammell: Like once we get to the point where we’re giving ourselves permission, then it’s like being strong enough to keep giving yourself permission, even when your loved ones aren’t giving you permission. 

[00:34:51] Susan Hyatt: Totally. Because you have to remember that our loved ones around us, you know, they’ve received this programming too.

[00:34:59] Susan Hyatt: And so, anytime we’re wanting to do something different, It can trigger their own fears and worries within them. So, it, it doesn’t mean that they don’t love you and they don’t want the best for you. It’s just a little scary for them. And when we do start to change and do things for ourselves in differently and succeed that can get, they can give a little pushback around that too.

[00:35:25] Susan Hyatt: But I feel so strongly that when women can become devoted to their own pleasure and make more money, we can lift everyone higher, including our families, including our spouses that maybe weren’t all in from the beginning on it. And I think that it’s, I think that having a coach like you, Allyson is important because I noticed when I became convicted about what I wanted to do,

[00:35:55] Susan Hyatt: the energy in which I led discussions about it, the energy in which I had just, I was resolute about this is what needs to happen, then family tended to fall in line, if you will, or grumble less, or, you know, come along with me when I was apologetic or asking for permission, that was always a recipe for an argument.

[00:36:24] Allyson Scammell: Yeah, it’s such a good point. Such a good point. I remember when I was gonna spend my first like real money on a coach, kind of like next level investment on a coach. I was, I, I, I was just decided, I was just decided. And before that, if I ever wanted to spend a lot of money on my business, I sort of like conferred with my husband.

[00:36:42] Allyson Scammell: And is this a good investment? And is it okay? And then one morning, I just said, oh, I really wanna hire this coach. She charges a lot of money, but I just need to do it and it’s done. And I was just decided, bam, and it’s gonna come out of business expenses. I’m not taking it out of the family kitty. And I was just like, it’s happening?

[00:37:00] Allyson Scammell: And I was so convicted, and I just informed my husband, and he didn’t, he’s like, good, great. He didn’t even ask me the investment, nothing. And it was just done. And that’s when I realized like the truth in what you’re saying, like when you decide it for yourself, your outer world just starts to reflect that.

[00:37:15] Allyson Scammell: Totally. And 

[00:37:16] Susan Hyatt: it’s, and it’s just kind of like when you believe, you know, when I decided to become a coach, you know, I remember Scott was like, no one had heard, hardly anyone knew what a life coach was. And I was so. I still am not quite sure where that inner knowing came from, but I was like, I’m going to Arizona, and I really need to do this.

[00:37:41] Susan Hyatt: And if there had been hesitation. I can tell you right now, he would’ve been like, you wanna take how much money and invest in what? And I mean, he asked questions, but he was so sort of like, I remember he almost fell off the couch, he was laying on the couch, watching some awful show, like CSI Miami, something violent.

[00:38:04] Susan Hyatt: And I have my laptop open, and I was like, I’m gonna go to Arizona and train to be a life coach. And I remember he rolled over and then almost fell off the couch like you’re gonna do what, but it’s, I think for women, we have to stop asking for permission and we have to start deciding and claiming what it is that we want.

[00:38:24] Susan Hyatt: And just because you may not, at this point in time, be the primary breadwinner that doesn’t mean that you have to ask permission. 

[00:38:34] Allyson Scammell: Yes. Deciding and claiming, it’s so empowering. It’s so empowering. Ugh. This has been so amazing. I’ve loved unpacking this with you. You’re so activating just as you tell your stories, it’s so activating, it’s so amazing.

[00:38:50] Allyson Scammell: Do you have a daily practice or what would you recommend if someone’s like, ugh, I know I need more pleasure in my life, but I’m feeling burnt out. I’m feeling stuck. I used to have pleasure, but it fell off the radar and I can’t get it back going again. Do you have a little daily practice or a tool you would recommend to get people going again?

[00:39:10] Susan Hyatt: Oh my gosh. I have so many, but I think truly if someone, if someone’s burned out and they don’t know where to start, I think you have to start with five minutes of silence and just sit and listen to yourself. Just sit and ask yourself, what do you really, really, really want and crave? I think a good breadcrumb

[00:39:31] Susan Hyatt: can be envy, which sounds weird. But I think if any of you listening, aren’t sure like what kind of pleasure you wanna start with or where to go, when you’re scrolling social media, where do you feel pangs of jealousy or envy? So, for me, it used to be seeing people gathered around beautiful dinner tables in beautiful locations.

[00:39:55] Susan Hyatt: Like the, the friendship and the fun of something like that. Or maybe you scroll, and you see somebody mountain biking and you’re like, wow, what would it take to become a woman who mountain bikes or you see somebody who has a best friend, and you just crave that kind of intimate connection. I think silence and following

[00:40:16] Susan Hyatt: that little green monster, because what that, all that is is your higher self tapping you on the shoulder saying, Hey, 

[00:40:24] Allyson Scammell: that’s meant for you, boo. Go get that. I have never heard that. That is brilliant. That envy jealousy, like you’re just, you’re just tapping into it. It’s not like you’re saying, oh, I’m gonna go feel jealous of what other people are doing.

[00:40:41] Allyson Scammell: But it’s like using that as the guide. I always love to use emotions as guides. Yeah. That is a brilliant way to use our emotions as a guide, because I often feel like I want more pleasure, but I don’t know what, I don’t know what, I don’t know what’s pleasurable for me. And I know I have to go out and experiment, but like where do I start the experimentation?

[00:40:58] Allyson Scammell: What a brilliant bread crumb, as you say to follow. 

[00:41:02] Susan Hyatt: That’s the bread crumb, and then start dating yourself. So then it’s like, if you don’t know, it’s like, okay, well maybe I’ll go try. I’ve never hiked. Maybe I’ll go try an easy entry level hike, or maybe I’ll go try to take myself on a road trip because that looked like fun.

[00:41:19] Susan Hyatt: Or maybe I’ll go try to actually take myself out to a really nice dinner, you know, and, and start dating yourself that way. There’s other things like, I think though that those are starting points, but you know, me, I’m a huge proponent for sweating and moving your body. I think that emotion gets stuck in the body.

[00:41:39] Susan Hyatt: And if you can dance around your living room or go for a walk or do something to sweat on a regular basis, you’ll also be able to hear your guidance so much clearer. 

[00:41:49] Allyson Scammell: Yes, yes, yes, yes. Yes. Oh, my gosh, this has been amazing. I knew it would be, and it’s exceeded my expectations. Thank you so much, Susan.

[00:41:58] Allyson Scammell: You’re so generous. You’re just a generous, generous soul. So, thank you for the work you do in the world. You really do. You just, you have this activating way about you. I mean, you post something on social media for four years ago and I just like, remember, like it sticks in my head. I think it’s a real gift you have.

[00:42:15] Allyson Scammell: So, thank you. You’re so welcome. I really mean it. And so I always ask my guests, if they will leave our listeners with an invitation. So that’s an invitation to do something. Be someone inviting them anywhere they wish to go. Oh, my God. You wish them to go rather. 

[00:42:32] Susan Hyatt: Oh, okay. So, if you want to hang out with me online, Instagram or Facebook, those are both great places.

[00:42:40] Susan Hyatt: I’m Susan Hyatt on those platforms. And then if you’re looking for a place to be with other women who are becoming devoted to their own pleasure, I am running a brand-new mastermind called the beyond mastermind, which is focusing on becoming a woman who’s devoted to her own pleasure and creating a life that’s beyond your expectations.

[00:43:04] Susan Hyatt: So that is starting late October 2022. And that will include six months of classes with me and a weekend retreat in my hometown of Savannah, 

[00:43:15] Allyson Scammell: Georgia. Oh, cool. Cool, cool, cool. The beyond. I love the title of that. Mm-hmm yeah. Check out her stuff, get in her world. How many podcasts now? 

[00:43:26] Susan Hyatt: Oh my gosh,

[00:43:27] Susan Hyatt: I don’t even know, over definitely over probably 400 cuz I had the go time podcast and then the rich coach club podcast. And now you’ve got nerve is my latest podcast. 

[00:43:40] Allyson Scammell: That, and I saw you talking about that and that is a brilliant title. Thank you. Good stuff. All right, Susan, I’m gonna stop gushing and just say, thank you.

[00:43:49] Allyson Scammell: Thank you. Thank you again for being on soul radio. I really, really just had a wonderful time connecting with you. It was a pleasure.

[00:44:06] Allyson Scammell: And thank you so much, dear listener for tuning in. I appreciate it so much. And my personal invitation for you is to notice in social media, when you feel jealous or envious of what someone else is doing or being, or becoming and ask yourself, is there something there that I long for for myself? And if you get a yes, explore that

[00:44:39] Allyson Scammell: yes, a little bit more. What is it exactly? And see if you can start to incorporate whatever it is you’re longing for, into your own experience. And I wanna read a listener review before we wrap up that I think is, was perfect for this episode. And this comes to us from. Parashakti L from Ireland, what a great name that is Parashakti L from Ireland.

[00:45:12] Allyson Scammell: And she writes insightful and interesting podcast. Thank you so much. Straightforward advice delivered with personality. And I think that was a great theme of this particular episode that was straightforward advice delivered with personality. So, what did you receive from this episode? I would absolutely love to know, head on over to the show notes, where you can find a link to leave a podcast, rating, and review, and I will read your beautiful words on the air.

[00:45:50] Allyson Scammell: And as always until next time, may your soul guide the way.

[00:46:02] Allyson Scammell: Are you ready to fill your business with soul clients in the next 60 days, then download my free energy, upgrade meditation to amp up your energy frequency, dissolve the doubt and attract the soul clients you are destined to serve. Find the link to download on my website, allysonscammell.com as well as in the show notes.