The Top 3 Ways We Numb Out (And How It Hurts Us When We Think It’s Helping)  

[00:00:00] Hey, ho, dear ones, we have such a relevant episode for you today. It is just a topic that’s not talked about enough and it really affects us. It affects us in ways we do not realize it infiltrates into our every day, and we think it’s helping often, but it’s actually really hurting us in ways that it’s hard to see, and it’s hard to recognize.

[00:00:30] And that is numbing when we numb out. So that means we are. We are disconnected from our bodies. We are disconnected from our higher self. We are disconnected from our emotional compass, our physical compass that is trying to send us intuitive messages. And there’s a good reason why we do this. And so this episode is not, and I repeat, is not a beat up session.

[00:01:01] But this is what happens when we numb. We disconnect from these important intuitive levers, and I’m going to be revealing why we do that, how it hurts us more than we realize. And we actually think that it’s adding value to our lives. And how to turn it all around. So why don’t we get right to it in today’s episode, I reveal what numbing is and how we numb out more than we realize the top three ways numbing hurts us while we actually think it’s helping and how to instead choose high vibrational habits that truly serve you.

[00:01:45] On your path, we’ll end on an invitation that will have you stop choosing numbing and start choosing to live a high vibrational, joyful, and elevated life. So please stay with me until the end. Welcome to soul guide radio, a podcast for soul guided leaders, influencers, and entrepreneurs. Here to bring about change on a massive level.

[00:02:12] We’ll explore how you can activate your big soul mission, amplify your spiritual gifts and clear the energy blocks weighing you down so you can gain unstoppable momentum in life and business. I’m Allyson Scammell, your host and soul guide.

[00:02:32] Hello, soul guide circle. That is the name of this global and growing community of soul guided leaders and entrepreneurs. In the soul guide circle, we are using our spiritual gifts to grow prosperous heart led businesses that are on the leading edge of consciousness. Find a link to join our closed Facebook group at allysonscammell.com

[00:02:52] or in the show notes. Today, we’re talking The top three ways we numb out and how this hurts us more than we realize. And we actually think that it’s adding value to our experience. So what is numbing? And how do we numb out more than we realize? Well, it’s the act of distracting ourselves from painful emotions.

[00:03:20] It’s how we distract ourselves and numb. are painful emotions we do not want to experience. And so, yes, this includes, you’re having marital problems, and you don’t want to think about it because it’s super painful. The idea of like, hey, maybe the marriage could be ending. And that’s really painful. So instead of confronting that, you choose numbing activities, which I’m going to be talking about in a sec.

[00:03:53] So that’s really, really painful, right? Well, this also includes you want to draft something for social media, but you’re not sure what, and you feel stuck. So it’s not like super painful. It’s kind of annoying. It’s a, uh, low grade, uh, pain, slight resistance, but guess what? Okay. So we feel stuck on what we truly want to share with our audience.

[00:04:17] So we numb by. Getting lost in our email inbox. And that is one of the ways we numb, but here’s how we, and why we numb out more than we realize is because numbing activities are designed mostly. To be addictive and they’re actually designed to distract us from the other things in our lives that are trying to get our attention.

[00:04:46] Important things like painful emotions, but you know, maybe the painful emotion is just too much for you right now, or you feel overwhelmed and so you resort to an activity or a substance that helps you to numb from that pain and you think it’s helping. We all think it’s helping. We all think like, Oh, my pain is alleviated.

[00:05:07] Oh, I feel better. And what it’s doing, it’s just tamping the emotions down inside so that the energy gets more blocked. And then we start vibrating without realizing it at the frequency of this blocked energy that’s getting stronger and stronger and stronger. Thus, we’re putting out a stronger vibration in that frequency.

[00:05:29] And that. That is what is attracting our outer reality. That’s what we start manifesting. So if we’re really afraid of things going wrong in our marriage and we’re vibrating strongly at fear, but instead of facing that fear, we go to wine, we go to candy crush. It packs the fear in stronger. So that our outer world starts to reflect that fear more and more and more.

[00:06:01] So what are these numbing activities I am referring to? I’ve mentioned a few. They’re mostly designed to be very addictive, as I mentioned. So that means too much time on the old smartphone. And I really, really feel like we are getting more and more and more sucked in to those phones. It’s just becoming an appendage.

[00:06:26] And so we have to start learning how to. live a healthy life and be plugged into technology. And this is just something where all the collective is experiencing many growing pains on. I find myself on my phone a little bit more and a little bit more and a little bit more with each passing several months.

[00:06:52] You know, if I look at my daily screen time, I think it’s a steady upward trend and I’m pretty mindful. I mean, I’m a pretty unplugged person. And if you. Compare me to the average person on their phone, but even I, you know, who’s super mindful about this stuff and I coach on it and teach on it. I’m still noticing my own consumption getting higher and higher.

[00:07:18] So that’s just, you know, on our phone, on our apps, on our text messaging. You know, texting is definitely a form of numbing. Yes, we use it to communicate, and there are important texts that we need to both send and receive, but notice how much time in your day, if you tend to be a texter, and I am not. I am not a texter.

[00:07:41] So, if you are a friend of mine, and you have unAnswered text from me, please, please do not take it personally. I’m just not a texter, but I know a lot of people are. And if you are, just notice, like, how much of your day do you spend texting? And how much of that texting is maybe a bit superfluous? Like, you don’t really need to be doing it, or you could be doing a heck of a lot less of it to still get the important points conveyed.

[00:08:09] So certainly, too much time on social media. Too much time consuming and this is not creating social media in your business in service to your clients and customers. That’s, that’s not numbing. That’s actually. that can be, that’s usually I should say, in that co creative energy with the divine. So that is a higher vibrational energy that we are in when we are creating to post something on social media in service to the people we feel called to share.

[00:08:39] This is more when you’re in a mindless consumption and it’s like you’re on a bit of an autopilot. You’re just letting it take hold of you. You’re letting it take hold of you. That is another characteristic of numbing out. Another numbing activity is just spending too much time with busy work. Busy work is definitely your email inbox.

[00:09:02] That is, emails are important and we need to stay on top of our inbox, but we can let the email inbox consume us. And that is a form of numbing. There is other busy work, such as Organizing drawers, organizing shelves. Hey, I’m all for being minimalized and organized, but sometimes we can get these little projects around the house distracting us because we don’t want to deal with what’s really happening inside.

[00:09:29] Another form of numbing is complaining. Oh my goodness. I definitely notice with my clients who either have nine to fives or they have more of a company set up. So they have a lot of Colleagues and they have a lot of situations where they need to be working together and that can be really challenging, right?

[00:09:51] And so there’s two types of complaining. One is healthy and one is less healthy. The first is getting things off your chest. So maybe a colleague or a loved one or someone in your life has done something to really piss you off or to really hurt you or really offend you. The first thing to help you process that is getting it off your chest, talking about it with a trusted audience, right?

[00:10:18] That is the first thing. So you’re getting it off your chest, okay? That’s not necessarily complaining. That’s a cathartic, like, I need to get this off my chest. But then you need to watch. If and when you go into what Byron Katie calls story fondling. So you’re getting lost in the story, lost in a loop of complaining about it again and again and again.

[00:10:41] That is when we start to numb. So I’m going to tell you what you want to do instead in just a sec, but this is what you want to watch for in terms of numbing, overly complaining about the same person or the same issue. Certainly. Numbing agents are drugs and alcohol. I gave up alcohol completely about a year and a half ago, maybe even two years ago.

[00:11:09] It’s been a good while and I just feel so much better and I know alcohol is a funny drug because it’s so socially consumed and it’s such a part of our social experience that it can feel really challenging to give that up and I’m not saying like, hey, let’s all stop drinking alcohol. I’m more saying or, you know, marijuana or whatever that is.

[00:11:35] You know, drug, alcohol, substance of choices for you, but maybe you could take a second right now and just check in and say, do I consume too much? Or do I consume as a way to manage my stress? Or do I consume after a very stressful day to help me regulate myself? I think those are really powerful questions to ask.

[00:12:04] And if you’re getting a yes. Then something wants to shift about what or the volume that you are consuming. Next is certainly junk food. And hey, I got a salty tongue and a sweet tooth and I like my chocolate and I like my chips. So, you know, it’s not to say like, let’s never consume junk food. any sort of drug or alcohol again and never consume a junk food and never consume a sugary treat.

[00:12:30] This is more about being mindfully aware of when we’re using these things as crutches to distract ourselves from painful emotions that are inside wanting our attention. And you can definitely notice, like, when is it that we’re prone to snacking? It’s when we’re stressed. It’s when we’re overwhelmed.

[00:12:51] It’s when we feel burnt out. It’s when we’re overly tired. This is when we are most prone to mindless snacking. So again, it’s just starting that awareness, not beating yourself up. This is how we learn, grow, evolve, and most importantly, heal. It’s just gaining that awareness. Like, Oh, okay. This is one of the ways that I numb.

[00:13:18] Okay. And in just a second, I’m going to tell you what to do when you notice you’re numbing, but the first. is certainly to do that inventory. What are the various ways I numb? And the last numbing activity I’ll mention, although there certainly are more, and that is online games, you know, Angry Birds, Candy Crush, all those things, crossword puzzles, Sudoku, you know, Wordle.

[00:13:46] I would definitely say one of my numbing crutches is crossword puzzles. I have. In my human design chart, I have a defined head and Ajna. If you have definition in your head or Ajna, you are gonna tend to really love word games, puzzle games, figuring shit out. That is definitely me. And I have the New York Times crossword puzzle subscription.

[00:14:08] And I sometimes wonder, is this a good idea? Because on the one hand, it’s really good for my brain. I am meant to be a thinker, figuring out puzzles. I mean, that’s how I flex this defined head. And Ajna centers, but on the other hand, like all of these numbing activities, there’s a point to which it serves us.

[00:14:28] I wouldn’t say all of them, but a lot of our numbing activities. There’s a point to which it serves us, and then we go over that point, and it no longer serves us, and it turns into a numbing agent. And I am definitely prone to numbing out using crossword puzzles. Man, these days I’m really addicted to Spelling Bee.

[00:14:50] Have you guys played that on New York Times? Or, yeah, I’m sure you can play it at lots of different apps. If you like a good word game, try Spelling Bee. Oh my gosh. That is definitely a numbing area for me. So, what do we do? What do we do when we notice, like, this is a numbing agent or activity that I tend to go overboard with?

[00:15:12] I’m going to tell you in just a sec. But, before I do, I want to reveal the top three ways that we think numbing is helping us, but it’s actually hurting us. And this is super powerful awareness so that you can start to turn things around. Number one, numbing doesn’t help us rest. We often engage in these numbing activities when we think that it’s going to help us rest, and it does not.

[00:15:44] So you’re really tired at work, you can’t concentrate, so you grab your phone, you lay down on the couch, and you do a crossword puzzle. This is something that I would find myself doing. Or you do a different game, or you scroll social media, or you go organize a drawer for the third time. Or you call up a girlfriend or you start texting a girlfriend complaining about your kids or your partner or a colleague Okay, so we think we’re taking a break from our work to go sort of just chillax a little bit But if we’ve gone over that line Of it’s no longer serving us and it’s starting to numb us out It’s not contributing to our rest.

[00:16:30] Typically, when you want to rest, you want to think about those activities that actually rejuvenate your energy. I can’t think of anything that I can do on my phone to include a crossword puzzle that actually contributes to me feeling rested. If I want to feel rested, I need to go to yoga. And have my phone far, far away from me.

[00:16:55] I need to go on a walk through the dunes with my dog, without my phone. I need to go to the beach without my phone. Like I need to go on the floor with my yoga mat and just do some easeful stretches, all the things that I do that actually. contribute to my feelings of rest are none of the numbing activities that I just mentioned.

[00:17:21] So what I invite for you is to really notice what are the things that actually rejuvenate your energy and lead to feelings of rest. I have a hunch it’s not going to involve a phone or social media or any sort of food or any sort of alcohol or drugs. It’s probably going to be some sort of movement, meditation, nature, having a really connecting call or, you know, coffee with a really good friend where you’re actually talking about uplifting things and not in that complain vibe.

[00:17:58] So that’s the first way. We think it’s helping us, but it’s actually numbing us. The second way numbing hurts us is numbing doesn’t help us to have fun. So listen, consuming content on your social media, even if you are consuming funny videos, okay, that’s a little bit fun. But that’s not real fun. Real fun is you’re engaging in your right brain.

[00:18:30] You’re in your body. Think about what is fun for you in a way that you lose track of time. You’re having a full belly laugh. Often you’re moving your body, but you’re not, you don’t necessarily need to be. This is where I think a lot of us get really stuck because most of us don’t really know. How we have fun at this point in our lives because we’re so busy and we have so many obligations on a regular day that we don’t give ourselves permission to explore what fun is for us.

[00:19:02] So here, here today, as you listen to this episode, I really, really invite you to notice what is fun for you, really fun, and make a list. These are the things I find really fun. For me, I love to dance. I love aerobic dance. I love going to dance classes. I love going out dancing with my husband, although we hardly ever do that.

[00:19:26] But my husband is a trooper when it comes to dancing, and whenever I want to dance, and I ask him, he always says yes. So I love him for that, but dancing is like truly fun for me. So then the question I need to ask for myself is how can I dance more in my average week? Well, I could say, well, I’m too busy to go to all these classes.

[00:19:46] Well, I don’t need to go to a class to dance. I can just turn on some music and dance with myself. So as you think about what are the things that are fun for you, Double check, like, does this thing actually feel fun for me or is it a form of numbing? And then if you find yourself saying, well, I don’t have time for that, could you make it so simple and so easy to fit into your every day?

[00:20:14] Okay. The third way we numb out in a way that we think it’s helping us. Numbing doesn’t help to fill our creative well. I think oftentimes we will consume social media to get inspiration, or we feel stuck on what we feel like creating. So instead of doing something that wakens up our creative juices, we will resort to numbing.

[00:20:43] Sometimes we feel. overwhelmed. We don’t want to feel feelings of overwhelm, so we resort to numbing. And we actually think that the activity we’re doing is helping to get us some inspiration when it’s actually really not. Okay, let’s get into how to stop this numbing. And start to choose high vibrational habits that truly serve you and what to do when we feel that urge to numb because we don’t want to feel the painful emotion that is starting to come up.

[00:21:17] Well, it really does start with doing an inventory. Just gaining awareness. What time of the day? What are the activities? When am I most prone to numbing out? You know, I I typically will numb at the end of the day because I’m super tired and I’m like really a morning person. So, I’m at my, my very greatest at 5 a.

[00:21:43] m., but by 9 p. m. I should just basically be asleep. So, I need to notice that time of day is when I’m most prone to numbing. The other time I’m most prone to numbing is around lunchtime, because I usually work solidly from 9 a. m. to 12 p. m., that’s three hours in a row. That’s a lot for a projector, right? And then I take a big break at lunch, and then I have clients and classes in the late afternoon.

[00:22:09] But right around lunchtime, I’ve just done a burst of activity for three hours. I’m really tired. And this is when I’m like, Oh, I’m exhausted. Let me just numb for a bit because I think it’s going to be restful for me. And it’s actually not. So starting with the inventory is the first step. So, you know, you recognize like, Oh, this is actually numbing.

[00:22:36] Oh, this is actually hurting me and not helping me. Okay, that is the first thing. The second thing is to really then take that list, that inventory you created, and just notice if there’s anything on there that’s truly not serving you anymore. So I had mentioned early, some of these things will serve us to a point, but if we overindulge, it no longer serves us and it turns into numbing.

[00:23:05] Is there anything on your list that truly doesn’t serve? So when I created this list a couple years ago, for me and my experience, I really realized that alcohol was just not something that I wanted to be consuming anymore. And it just didn’t serve me in any way, shape or form. So I opted to just Say goodbye to alcohol.

[00:23:29] So notice with your list, when you look at all the different numbing agents and activities that I engage in, is there anything on there that’s popping off the page saying you are ready to say goodbye to this thing. And it’s okay if it doesn’t come overnight. Hey, look, when I gave up alcohol, it was a journey.

[00:23:48] I didn’t just go cold Turkey, but I mean, I kind of did, but then I would like drink a little bit here and then I’d go cold Turkey again. I mean, it was a long process and I gave myself tons of compassion along the way. I’ve said it before, but I’m going to say it again. None of this is a beat up session.

[00:24:05] We numb for a reason. We numb because we’re overwhelmed. We’re humans. And these numbing agents really help us in the moment. To distract us from that intensity, but it doesn’t help us over time. Over time, it hurts us. So it helps us in the moment. So we think, but it does hurt us over time. So this is just gaining awareness of how this all works.

[00:24:33] So then when you are in the moment. of wanting to numb out. So wanting to grab a glass of wine or some cookies or to grab that Candy Crush app, but you know, like you could just sense like, Oh, I’m trying to really tweak and refine my habits so that I’m allowing more high vibrational habits in and less low vibrational habits, right?

[00:25:06] So it’s, it’s that awareness. Oh, I’m grabbing Candy Crush and this is numbing. This is not fun. This is not unwind. This is numbing. Okay. And you can always ask your higher self. I feel the urge to, you know, fill in your numbing activity, scroll social media, Reorganize a drawer. Get lost in my inbox, right? Am I numbing?

[00:25:29] Just ask your higher self. Is this numbing? If you get a yes, then listen, there’s a painful emotion that’s ready to be released. There is a blocked energy that’s ready to be released. So what you do is see if you can find a painful thought or story you’re telling yourself. Okay. Once you identify that painful thought or story, you wanna feel all the feels that are triggered when that thought feels true.

[00:26:01] So maybe the thought is simply, I have too much on my to-do list, and it’s triggering feelings of overwhelm. Give yourself permission to feel that overwhelm. Feel the feels. Breathe, release, go to your higher self. And ask your higher self for your next best step, ask your higher self, what is really going to nourish you in that moment.

[00:26:28] And your higher self will guide you to those activities, those states of being that will truly lead to rest and having fun and filling your creative well. The last part of this is also, as we make our inventory of those things that we do to numb out. You also want to make a list of the high vibrational activities you can do instead and make some of the things on this list very, very simple to incorporate, even if you’re exhausted, even if you’ve had a super busy day.

[00:27:03] So, for example, walks in nature, going to yoga or dance or going to a women’s circle or some sort of connecting circle with like minded people, doing art, coloring, cooking, but not cooking for pressure because everyone in your family is starving and you have to get food on the table. If you’re someone who actually really enjoys cooking like I do, but I only enjoy cooking when I don’t feel pressure to cook.

[00:27:31] If I feel pressure to cook it feels like a chore. If I have time and space and energy, and I’m like, Oh, I wonder what I could do with Brussels sprouts tonight. That feels like something that fills my will. Quality time with loved ones, friends, family, but real quality time and not, you know, okay, so like, do you have a group of girlfriends and you get together and drink wine and complain?

[00:27:55] That is not high vibrational. And I know, like, hey, I know you love them and I, I’ve had my, my definite time of having wine with girlfriends and complaining, but try, I invite you to try getting together with girlfriends and drinking hot tea and not complaining. Or maybe you have that cathartic one time, I’m going through this painful thing, get the cathartic thing out once and then move into, how could we.

[00:28:25] Plug into conversations, discourses, exploration that are higher in vibration. It doesn’t mean that you need to just talk about rainbows and unicorns, but it’s about getting out of that complain loop low by frequency and you can explore difficult topics in the world. But from a higher vibrational place of what can we do to shift out of this?

[00:28:52] What can we do to help? How do you feel called to serve? You know, that those types of conversations instead of just those complain loops. And so as part of this, you want to go back then and look at your list of high vibrational activities and ask yourself. What’s the top high vibe habit or activity I really feel most called to incorporate into my daily or weekly routine?

[00:29:19] So don’t try to incorporate too much at once, because then it’ll be too much to integrate, and that will not set yourself up for success. What you want to do is just choose one activity at a time. One new, new habit, one by one, and once one is more or less incorporated, then you can move on to the next one.

[00:29:40] So for example, I’m recording this at 1130 AM, and pretty soon I’m going to get tired, and pretty soon I’m going to get hungry, I’m pretty soon I’m going to want to really take a break, so I know that I’m prone to numbing out in about 45 minutes or so. So what can I do to be ready? What can I do to be ready?

[00:30:03] So what I’m going to do, I’m going to have lunch, and while I have lunch, I’m going to put on some human design videos. That I like to listen to in the background, but I am going to be very focused on my food, but I’ll be listening to a bit of human design and then I’m going to grab the leash and get Astrid and go out for a beautiful walk through the dunes and what else am I going to do that’s going to be high vibe and will fill my well before I have clients and classes later in the afternoon.

[00:30:36] Let’s see. Let me just drop into my higher self this moment and say, what else will really fill my well today? Higher self. So I’m going to have a nice lunch. I’m going to go for a walk with Astrid in the dunes. And what? Okay. So I actually got the message to go get a massage. I’ve been wanting to get a massage for a long time, but I keep putting it off because of what?

[00:30:57] My busy schedule. And I do have a pretty nice gap today before my first client of the day. So they’re saying, in that gap, they, my guides, are saying, in that gap, just go, there’s a massage place I go to that always has last minute available bookings. So just grab one of those last minute slots and just get a massage.

[00:31:19] Ooh, that feels really, really good. And that feels so much expansive and nourishing and rejuvenating than some of the other ways. I could choose to numb out during this time of being tired. So this is as simple as it is. It starts with awareness, making some inventory, noticing when you’re most prone to go into a numbing out habit, and then Always feeling the feels, breathing, release when you need to, because that’s the thing we’re numbing out from.

[00:31:53] We’re numbing out from that painful emotion. But when we just go in and identify what is the emotion that I’m trying to numb, and you just bring it to the surface and feel it. It’s almost never as bad as we think it’s going to be. It’s actually so, ah, it’s relieving. It’s relieving. It raises your energetic frequency.

[00:32:14] And when you have higher frequencies, you’re in a place to make, make much better choices for yourself. You’re a, to have a deeper connection to your higher self and you’re ready to really fill the things that it’s most wanting in this moment. My invitation for you this week is to start with those inventories.

[00:32:37] You’re going to do two. You’re going to do an inventory of the ways that you most numb out. And then the second inventory is the ways that you most feel. High vibrational, those things that lift your energy up. And then go back and review the list and notice the one thing that really doesn’t serve you anymore that you’re really ready to stop doing.

[00:32:59] And the one thing your heart is really calling you towards so that you can start. All right, my dear ones, that’s a wrap for this week. I hope you received some juicy nuggets from this episode. If you did, head on over to the show notes, go to that app where you listen to this podcast and find the link that says, leave a review.

[00:33:21] I would love to know what specifically you received from this episode. And certainly I will read your beautiful words on the air. And as always, until next time, may your soul guide the way. Hi, dear ones. Listen here. The soul blueprint certification program is a roadmap to becoming a more powerful coach, healer, writer, artist, or entrepreneur, and then earning more money.

[00:33:50] It’s the only certification program that reveals how to activate your five unique spiritual gifts. So you can create massive soul aligned success in life and business, learn more and enroll at allysonscammell.com/soulblueprint, or if enrollment is closed, you can join the soul list.

[00:34:10] So you’ll be the first to know when the next cohort is opening up and you’ll also be eligible to receive special high value bonuses again, that’s allysonscammell.com/soulblueprint

00:01  Intro

03:08  What is numbing?

06:01  Texting & scrolling

08:56  Busywork & complaining

10:58  Alcohol, junk food & gaming

13:32  Gaming

15:04  Rejuvenation

18:05  Fun

20:15  Creativity

20:59  Choosing to stop numbing 

26:39  Choosing high vibrational activities

29:40  Activity examples

32:31  Invitation & conclusion