The Magic of Human Design in the Parenting Journey with Nina Cuellar-Barry

[00:00:00] Oh, Hey, ho dear ones. We have a great episode for you today. My human design episodes are always my most downloaded. It’s really crazy. And we’re going to be talking today about human design and parenting. Now, listen, if you are not a parent. Then this episode is still for you because it’s going to teach you how to read human design charts to deepen your relationships to other people and how you can support others better, deepen your bond with them, whether it’s, you know, your parents, your colleagues, your clients.

[00:00:35] And if you are a parent, I’m telling you, human design is magical. When it comes to understanding your kids, no matter what their age, their quirks that you just can’t seem to understand, the human design chart will help you get why they do the sometimes seemingly strange things they do. And I’m speaking to an absolute idiot.

[00:00:59] Expert on it, Nina Barry. She has helped me over the years to understand my daughter, Freya, who definitely has unique quirks that I have just been confounded on. And how can I best support this child to set her up for success? And Nina was truly there for me and Freya and my husband, Pete, to help us along the way.

[00:01:20] So why don’t we go ahead and get right to it. In today’s episode, Nina reveals how to use human design. On your parenting journey, the tools available that help you deeply understand your child’s energetic needs and how to integrate these tools into your daily life and routines. No matter what your children’s ages will end on an invitation that will have you using human design to better support your children through life’s highs and lows, enabling you to bond in magical and meaningful ways.

[00:01:52] So please stay with us until the end. Welcome to Soul Guide Radio, a podcast for soul guided leaders, influencers, and entrepreneurs here to bring about change on a massive level. We’ll explore how you can activate your big soul mission, amplify your spiritual gifts and clear the energy blocks weighing you down so you can gain unstoppable momentum in life and business.

[00:02:22] I’m Allyson Scammell, your host and soul guide.

[00:02:32] Hello, Soul Guide Circle. That is the name of this global community of soul guided leaders and entrepreneurs. In the Soul Guide Circle, we are using our spiritual gifts to grow prosperous heart led businesses that are on the leading edge of consciousness. Find a link to join our closed Facebook group at allysonscammell.com

[00:02:50] or in the show notes. Today’s guest is Nina Barry. Nina is a human design parenting coach who helps heart led moms create peaceful homes and end conflict with their children of all ages. She’s a former special education teacher. A quantum human design specialist and certified QHD family coach with two grown children who still really like her.

[00:03:14] Nina’s passion is helping moms receive the wisdom and insights available to them through human design. I received so much from Nina’s wisdom today. I hope you do too. Please enjoy.

[00:03:37] Nina, welcome to soul guide radio. Really, I’m so happy to be here. Thank you. Yay. We’re talking about like some of my favorite things. I do love to talk about parenting because I find that when I use parenting as an example. If I’m talking about a personal growth principle that you could plug anything into, how to train your dog, how to eat healthy, how to raise your kids.

[00:04:07] If you give a parenting example, it always gins up the most debate and controversy. And usually the parents miss the point of the article. So that’s why I almost never use parenting examples in my things. Parenting is so emotional and so personal, it’s really, it’s a little difficult, challenging journey.

[00:04:32] It really is. It really is. And I love human design. Nina and I are both certified through Karen Curry Parker, right? Quantum Human Design. Yeah. Yes. And I love it. I incorporate it in my work. And what I’ll say to listeners is even if you’re not a parent, you can use the insights that Nina shares today. It, with regards to any relationship, like how to, you know, we’re talking about how to read a chart to get to know someone you care about.

[00:05:00] So plug this into clients, spouses, whoever, but, and if you are a parent, like we got some juicy nuggets for you today. Yes. Drawn from our own experiences for sure. Yeah, so let’s get into it. Nina was my coach is was I’ve worked with her on and off through the years with my daughter, Freya, who is a handful.

[00:05:25] As we know, she’s 7 and she just like, you know, I know probably every parent feels this about their kids, but I feel it stronger than anyone else. At least I think that’s how most parents feel about all the things pretending to their kids that my kid breaks all the molds. Yeah. That’s absolutely right.

[00:05:45] And you know what? Every kid does. And that’s what became really clear to me when I was teaching. I used to teach early childhood special ed. And I found really quickly, and special ed teaches you that every child is different. Very different. And you have to find the right ways to teach them and work with them specifically.

[00:06:08] And when you look at parenting resources, it’s all, every child this, every child that. And, you know, if, and, but if you’re reading the book, you’re going, yeah, but my child doesn’t do that. Or that doesn’t work with my child. And so it’s really frustrating because you have all these experts telling you. This is what you need to do to raise a good child, raise a, you know, wonderful human being.

[00:06:33] And you’re going, but it’s not working for mine. 100%. You know, interestingly, Nina, I was at a meeting at the school cause you know, I have to meet the teacher. I’m the parent who has to meet the teachers a lot because I got the kid who’s a challenge in the class. So we’re sitting there and Freya has like you, I know Nina has the two, four profile line and that four line is all about relationships and four lines.

[00:07:02] And you know, you can say more on this. Because, you know, you have the four line there, like they experience the world through their relationship. So relationships are so meaningful. So from a relationship is going to be. Going sour, that’s really gonna affect a four line if a, if a meaningful relationship goes into some sort of distress or there’s a fight four lines are going to feel that in ways that the other profiles aren’t going to feel and I was talking to the teacher saying just how important Freya’s image is of herself amongst her peers and she’s been feeling a lack of confidence and she’s not been feeling acceptance by it.

[00:07:45] Her peers, and she’s really struggling with that. And I was really speak. I wasn’t talking. I didn’t use the words human design, but I was talking about France for line. And you know what they said back to me? They said, yeah, all kids are that way. And I wanted to say, no, not all kids for lines have this special.

[00:08:02] So no, but I just kind of didn’t say anything. I know. Well, and, you know, the thing about. Outsiders, especially teachers who have to deal with lots of kids. Is they, you know, can sometimes generalize because all children do struggle in different ways, but you know, the parent knows their child better than anyone and a general struggle that a teacher might see, you know, is in a specific way, and it can be really difficult to communicate that to a teacher or to, you know, anybody who’s working with them outside.

[00:08:42] I know. I know. Sorry, it’s okay. But you know, like, and I think, like, as you learn human design, you know, one of the challenges is, you know, like, you all of a sudden are getting this guidebook for your kids, and it’s sometimes hard to you know, tell their teachers and their coaches and their other people about this guidebook, because they might not be like, Oh yeah, she’s a floor line.

[00:09:05] I get it. You know, so that’s, you know, you know, part of the learning, like how can we educate on others on our kids not using human design language? Cause maybe that won’t land for the educational institutions, but let’s start with Nina. Where can someone start? So we, we kind of went all, you know, Nina and I are both the human design practitioners.

[00:09:28] We’ve been working together, knowing each other for years. So I kind of dove into some advanced stuff right away. But let’s say our listeners are on the newer side to human design and they want to start using human design to better understand their children. Where do you recommend they start? I would recommend that anybody start with just getting their, their own and their child’s body graph, the human design chart.

[00:09:54] And most places where you can get a chart, you know, they can either sell you or give you a free little report that’ll just give you the basics. On my website, I have, you know, you can request a chart and then be given access to a couple of videos that are just real brief overviews of the types and what the characteristics are for each type.

[00:10:20] So if you just know your type and your child’s type, that will give you a huge amount of information about their energy, their motivations, their purpose, and it’s a really great place to start. Very high, you know, foundational level. Perfect. And we’ll leave a link for Nina’s resources and the show notes.

[00:10:44] And I do recommend you check that out because you’re so right, Nina, as I get more and more advanced into human design, I realized so often it gets back to type authority strategy and she, you don’t even have to get like, those are the three top building block principles of human design. And Nina’s just talking about type.

[00:11:03] So if you’re at the new, new, new, end of the journey of human design. Start with type. And then the next two are authority strategy. If you could get those three things for yourself and for your kids, I mean, start starting at the top with type only. It is so right that it just, it just opens up this clarity.

[00:11:24] For example, like I’m a projector, so I have a limited amount of energy I have access to in a day. And my daughter is a generator. And my two, my oldest daughter’s a generator. My youngest daughter’s a generator. My husband’s a generator. So it’s, I’m surrounded by these generators who have. Especially for kids, generators have to burn a lot of energy throughout the day because they have access to a lot.

[00:11:50] So just knowing that I don’t really have the energy to sustain Freya in a day by myself, and I need to get help. That was just like, so helpful for me. That one little thing. That all came from Type. And it’s a real common pattern because there are so many generator types in the world. Real common for a projector or a manifester who do not have defined sacrals, they don’t have consistent access to life force and workforce energy, for them to have parents who are generator types.

[00:12:28] And a pattern I see often with clients is a projector who feels shame because they don’t have the energy that other people do, and they feel like they ought to, because they’ve learned and they’ve been taught that they ought to have so much more energy and why are you being lazy and why are you so tired?

[00:12:51] You know, your sister did twice the amount of work that you did and she’s not tired. And that’s what hap, that’s what can happen when you don’t have a knowledge of human design at all. So true. When I had Freya, I had this inner knowing that I, I didn’t know human design, but I had this inner knowing and I had a good connection to my intuition that I would need help.

[00:13:15] And I felt so guilty, like oodles of guilt because I, I was living in Belgium at the time. And in Belgium, you can hire a nanny type person for very high quality nanny for a reasonable rate. The government actually pays part of their salary. In the U. S., nannies are kind of more of like a luxury, especially for babies, you know, because they’re so expensive.

[00:13:46] So I hired this woman for 15 hours a week. Which, like, I thought was so much, and was so indulgent, but I didn’t have, like, I, I, I was in Belgium all by myself with no family, no mother or father or sister or brother around, like, it was just my husband and I, and he was working all the time, and I just knew if I didn’t have help, I’d die, like, literally, so I hired this woman, she was amazing, she saved my life, but I was riddled with guilt, The whole time she worked with me.

[00:14:19] But I didn’t know that I had this open sake role as a projector, and I literally couldn’t, like, I mean, I could have forced myself. But like, that would have put me in this terrible energetic position where I wouldn’t have been the mom that I wanted to be, right? Right. Reliable to become burned out. Yeah.

[00:14:38] So like, yes. That’s a real difficulty for moms because there’s so much that moms are tasked with. And, you know, you’re, you’re supposed to take care of your child, you’re supposed to get them to all the activities and make sure they do well in school and that they’re healthy and they get to all their appointments.

[00:14:56] I mean, there’s so much that moms are expected to do and they’re not expected to need help because they should be able to do everything right. And that’s so unfair and so unnecessary. It really makes me sad. And looking back at my younger self, when I had little kids. I feel very sad sometimes for both of us because you really do feel as a mom that if you do need help or if you’re struggling that there’s something wrong with you that you shouldn’t because look everybody else is doing fine only they’re in the exact same position as you but they’re pretending that they are fine.

[00:15:41] Right, right. It’s so true. It’s so true. When I look back now, I’ve, I’ve healed that guilt. Well, a lot of it. I won’t say all of it, but I’ve, I’ve released a lot of that guilt. I carried when Freya was a baby about hiring, but, and when I look back, when I released that guilt, I like give my, my former self a high five for doing that.

[00:16:03] It saved my life. It literally, I had a traumatic birth, you know? I had a really, really, really rough transition into motherhood. I do not know what I would have done without that woman. Like literally, she saved my life. And when we, Nina, listen, when we left Brussels and I had to say goodbye to her, I was crying.

[00:16:23] This whale came out of me that I didn’t know I existed because I was so sad to leave her because I felt so much gratitude for everything she gave to me. And my daughter, you know, it was just like this, like this literal whale of a cry. How do you know my human design type? I think I could have processed that guilt that I was feeling at the time a whole heck of a lot faster.

[00:16:48] Well, and that’s what I, you know, looking back, of course, you know, I, My children are adults now. And so, I mean, the human design was just delivered to raw in 1987, which is when my son was born. So, wow. You know, I never had the opportunity, but you know, what’s been wonderful is that understanding it now and, you know, doing, looking at their charts and my chart, our relationships today are so much better.

[00:17:16] Even then they were, you know, a few years ago, because I do understand her human design and what human design can do is it can help you really accept who you are just as you are. And accept your children as being just who they are. I think a lot of the trouble that parents can get into is we look at the greater culture and we, and we think, well, you know, I want to help my child do this.

[00:17:49] Because then they’ll be successful and happy, and I want to understand, I want to help them understand what’s the best way to do things. But that creates a lot of conflict if your child doesn’t align with those aspirations and, and that path. And we make a lot of trouble for ourselves by not understanding who they are.

[00:18:15] And who they’re really meant to be. And it’s probably not what you think they are. Yeah, you know, it’s so true. And you can get a lot of relief from a human design chart because you generators and manifesting generators tend to have a breakdown before your breakthrough. And so your, You’re invited to really be mindful about whether or not it’s time to quit or not, and usually it’s not time to quit.

[00:18:43] You’re usually on the cusp of a breakthrough, but in the middle of the breakdown, you’re like, Oh, I shouldn’t quit this. It’s not working. Right? I see those breakdowns with Freya, and I’m now to the point where I kind of I’m going to. Not be, maybe this is too strong of words, but I kind of look forward to them because I know after she has a breakdown so that how that looks is like just a period of really difficult behavior, maybe doing something very not nice in class, getting a call from the teacher, and it usually happens in like a burst, like, you know, like over a week.

[00:19:19] And then boom, she just up levels to a whole new level of development and skills and getting along and participating. Well, I like it. So if I didn’t know about that breakdown for the breakthrough. When she would be going through the break, you know, the difficult week, I would just be like, oh, my God, the sky is falling.

[00:19:39] You know, you go to that all those worst case scenarios. Which is exactly where we go, because, you know, we can see the whole path ahead of them. Yeah, where they’ll be unemployed at 25 and, you know, and they’re five. I know. Isn’t it crazy, Nina? Oh my gosh. That’s where you should go. I know. I know. And here’s the other thing is understanding, yes, that’s how the, the generator type learns, you know, it’s, I’m on this plateau, but, oh, it’s so hard and also awful.

[00:20:09] And so, you know, I don’t like it. You know, and then that leap is so beautiful and so satisfying that knowing that can really help us through those. Those times, as you say, and you know that you start to recognize the patterns and because there are patterns because of the different types learning styles and emotional, you know, kinds of things here’s here’s where I also find it helpful to know human design.

[00:20:40] Is if you understand your own design, that can really help you in how you manage yourself in relation to your child. So, for example, looking at my design, I have a completely open emotional solar plexus and I think you do too. I do too. I do too. And so does Freya and Pete, my husband. Well, they have some gates.

[00:21:04] Oh, that’s right. That you’re right. They have some gates to find. That’s true. Okay. Which, which kind of helps anchor them in, you know, what’s theirs and what’s not. But the, when you have a completely open ESP, I mean, you’re just amplifying everything. It sucks. It really does. And it really manifested for me.

[00:21:30] And that I didn’t understand at all was. You know, I also had a daughter, it’s a daughter thing. I had a daughter, have a daughter, who could be difficult. She has, she’s emotionally defined. And so, I mean, she has all the feels, all the time. And I would go to pick her up after class, and the teacher, I knew her very well, because she had had my son in class.

[00:21:53] Every single day would tell me all the stuff that my daughter had done that day that had disrupted the class and that had made it difficult for the people around her. And, I mean, you know, there was a litany every single day. I mean, I was in tears every day because I could, I was, feeling what the teacher was feeling and amplifying it.

[00:22:18] And I just, I didn’t understand why it was all so hard with my daughter. Now, understanding what an open ESP I have, I can feel the fields of other people and let them pass through me. I can recognize, yep, that’s what they’re feeling. That’s I’m feeling that thing, but it’s not mine. And it just goes right through, usually.

[00:22:45] And what a gift that can be for somebody who otherwise would really, really struggle. Yeah. Oh my gosh. I have the exact same experience, Nina. I have a child who’s disruptive. And going to this school and getting the litany of things, they don’t know how to help her. They don’t know how to channel her, but they are very good at pointing out every little thing that she’s doing wrong.

[00:23:11] So tell me, I would just love to ask because Nina has enrolled in my Soul Blueprint and you’re talking about feel the feels. I would love to just ask you quickly, like, has the Soul Blueprint process helped you to understand human design better or integrate it into your experience? Well, I really enjoyed the, the different gifts being, you know, highlighted, spotlighted, you know, from week to week.

[00:23:44] So that, for example, I never thought of myself as a healer, you know, but we all have the gift of healing that we can access. And I, I learned, you know, more about that in Soul Blueprint. And now I can understand that, you know, my healing ability to heal not only myself, but other people. Is to manifest differently than what I thought, but that I still have access to it, just as I have access to the gift of teaching and the gift of leadership and all the other gifts.

[00:24:18] And for me, that was eye opening and really increased what I am able to draw on as I use human design and lots of other. systems in my coaching with parents. So yeah, I, I loved soul blueprint for sure. Oh, thank you for that. And I love that perspective. And I do feel like human design and soul blueprint are such a great match.

[00:24:45] And certainly soul blueprint is such a great augmentation to the, some of the other coaching and healing and spiritual modalities out there. I’ve really appreciate those reflections. So Nina, I would love to go through each type. And. If you could give us just one thing for each type that if the parent, let’s just go with if the parent is that type, so people can really sort of, the listeners can really feel it for themselves first, if the parent is that type, one thing that they should consider as their parenting, whatever comes to you.

[00:25:24] There’s a lot of things, right? But go ahead and just pick one that feels, that you feel like a listener out there might benefit from. So let’s start with those manifestors. If I’m a manifestor and I’m a parent, what is one thing I should think about as I parent my kids? Well, you should consider that you don’t have a defined sacral and that you’re, you really need to apportion your energy and prioritize.

[00:25:50] And also, especially for manifestors, you need to understand that people are going to think you’re selfish because you take the time for yourself. Remember that it’s something that’s really important for you. And you don’t have to be the, you know, all nurturing mom to be a good mom. Nice. I love that. Yes.

[00:26:13] How about the Manny Jennys, those manifesting generators, which Nina, you are one. I am. Well, you know, manifesting generators can be thought of ADHD kind of people because they have so many interests all over the place and they start so many projects and they don’t finish a lot of them. And the thing to understand about that is that you have a ton of energy and you are able to sustain it.

[00:26:38] And so energy might not be the problem for you, but you might need to remember. That you, you also need to prioritize what you do with your kids and what you get your kids involved in because it’s really easy for manifesting generators to get overwhelmed and then to want to drop everything. So just be aware you want to do everything, but you can’t always.

[00:27:03] So, and that’s okay. You can drop some things along the way. Nice. Beautiful. I love these tips and advice generators. Generators also. One difference between generators and manifesting generators is that generators tend to have more structure and they do things in a more orderly way. So they can be really awesome, like organizers for other people.

[00:27:30] So, you know, just be, I would say, you know, Don’t be afraid of being the tortoise in the, you know, the race tortoise in the hair and to accept what the way that you do things and really enjoy your child and really get right in there and do things with them because you do have the energy and you have also a lovely way to manage and guide that you can definitely take advantage of.

[00:27:58] Nice. Okay. Getting to those lovely, lovely projectors. What do you got for me? Projectors are wonderful. They have so much wisdom. And they know exactly, looking at a situation or at another person, exactly what that person should be doing. Problem is, as children grow, they don’t always want to be told. What?

[00:28:22] What to do? Are you serious? Boy, isn’t that the truth. Even if it’s the exact right thing for them to do. And so you have to remember as a projector to ask, had a situation that I saw somebody else in, would you like to hear how they handled it? You know, and then always asking before you give advice, even if it’s the best advice in the whole wide world.

[00:28:49] And also projectors really need to protect their energy as well and projectors as well as manifesting manifestors. You do need help if you have a generator child or a manifesting generator child, there is nothing wrong with it and you absolutely need it. You will do better and they will do better. 1000%.

[00:29:12] Yes. Loving this. And finally the unicorn type, the reflector. Reflectors can. Really have a tough time because in our society, we’re supposed to be decisive and make decisions quickly and, you know, not be wishy washy. What’s important for reflectors to remember is that they need to take time. And so 28 days, 29 days.

[00:29:40] So accept that you aren’t going to do things in a hurry. And, you know, Always let your child know, I’m ready to answer about that, but I probably, but I will be later. So let’s talk about it later, you know, and. Tick. Expect other people to respect your time boundaries and your energy boundaries. And the other thing is to really surround yourself with people who accept you as you are and appreciate you.

[00:30:15] And if you’re around people who are not supporting, you know, the way you raise your child or the way you live or whatever, those people don’t need to be in your life or they don’t need to take a big part of your life. Because you really need to be surrounded with people who will support you and listen to you and love you.

[00:30:37] Oh my gosh, that’s amazing, brilliant advice. I could keep talking with you about this, Nina, forever because I really, really am such a believer of human design in all things, and in particular, human design and parenting, because it’s such a roadmap to how your energy works and how your kids energy works and how they work together.

[00:30:59] But it’s not necessarily, it doesn’t come overnight. Right. This would be a time where I would definitely like, listen, guys, if this is resonating with you, get on Nina’s calendar, get a human design reading, because it’s a lot to learn and you will learn it. And it does take time, but get it. Getting some help from an actual practitioner is such a valuable.

[00:31:24] Investment in time and resources. So I want to, I am a client of Nina’s. She’s helped me so much with my daughter who breaks all the molds. And so I really give her my highest recommendation. Oh, thank you so much. Yeah. The, I mean, these mold breaking kids are often the ones that go on and do like really amazing things in the world.

[00:31:46] So that’s what I’m holding on to Nina. So don’t tell me that, you know, anything else that’s my truth. And I’m still here. But I do really recommend like it, it is, you know, for human design is a foreign language and it can feel overwhelming. So start as Nina was saying, start with her free resource, start with type, listen to her video.

[00:32:06] And as you go, you know, add things, you know, incrementally and think about investing in a reading be my advice. I was saying. Well, I love to do readings. They’re so much fun and they give such insights and human design really is the instruction manual that didn’t come with your kid. And if I would prioritize the things to, to learn little by little would be type.

[00:32:32] And if you learn to type, you’ll, you’ll learn the strategy and authority, but the type first. Then the profile, which is the personality, mine and Freya’s 2 4 profile, and then the centers and whether they’re defined or open for both you and your child. And that will give you such insight. And I, I love to talk to people about this.

[00:32:56] I could do it all day long. Nice. Perfect. So I’ve been loving this conversation. Nina, can you please leave our listeners with an invitation? I would invite the listeners to just look at where in your relationship with your child, it’s not as easy as you would like, or it’s just not, it doesn’t look like what you would like.

[00:33:22] And I would just say, you know, just think about maybe what is my, what am I bringing to this relationship? And then what are they bringing? And if you can look at it through the lens of human design, I think it’ll give you so much insight. But give that a try. What’s difficult or what is not exactly what you would like?

[00:33:46] Yes, fantastic invitation. I am going to give that a try myself. And Nina, I know that there are some parents and potentially even non parents out there who would like to learn more about you. How can they find you? Well, I hang out in Facebook primarily because I like Facebook. And I have a business page, NinaCB.

[00:34:07] com, real easy to find, and I’m there a lot. I also have a private Facebook group that is free, where moms hang out and we talk about human design and specific situations and general ones. And that’s peaceful moms, happy kids with human design. And then I have a website, NinaCB. com. I try to keep it simple and keep everything the same.

[00:34:32] Nice. And all those links will be in the show notes. Nina, thank you so, so much for sharing your wisdom today on Soul Guide Radio. Thanks for having me.

[00:34:54] Dear listener, thank you so much for tuning in. That’s a wrap for this week, and As always, if you received something juicy from this episode, and I know you did, DM me on Facebook or Instagram and let me know. And better yet, head over to the show notes, find the link that says, leave a review, and let me know specifically what you received from today’s episode, and I will read your words on the air.

[00:35:19] And bye! As always, until next time, may your soul guide the way.

[00:35:28] Hi, dear ones. Listen here. The Soul Blueprint certification program is a roadmap to becoming a more powerful coach, healer, writer, artist, or entrepreneur, and then earning more money. It’s the only certification program that reveals how to activate your five unique spiritual gifts So you can create massive Soul Aligned success in life and business.

[00:35:53] Learn more and enroll at allysonscammell.com/soulblueprint. Or if enrollment is closed, you can join the soul list. So you’ll be the first to know when the next cohort is opening up and you’ll also be eligible to receive special high value bonuses. Again, that’s allysonscammell.com/soulblueprint

Timestamps:

00:01  Intro

03:36  Meet Nina Cuellar-Barry

05:17  Every kid breaks the mould

09:34  How to get started

11:25  Asking for help & letting go of guilt

16:48  Releasing expectations & accepting the self 

20:42  Our Human Design charts & gifts

23:12  Soul Blueprint

24:55  Human Design types

31:04  Working with Nina

33:00  Invitation & conclusion