Tapping into the Happiness You Dream of for Tomorrow…Today with Julie Ciardi

[00:00:00] Hey Dear ones, one of the cool things about running a business. a longer time is that you really do build up a very cool network of peers and it’s really fun to support your peers and have collaborations, especially when you find the right ones. You know, those soul peers, and I’ve just noticed something about my soul partnerships and soul peers.

[00:00:24] It’s just effortless and there’s really no feeling of competition. There’s no push pull energy. So if I’m promoting something of theirs, I just, I’m doing it because I believe in it, and I never drop into the energy of, oh, you know what, if this is gonna cost me business because I’m promoting their stuff and.

[00:00:47] It’s just this ease. It’s got this ease and flow and I’m just genuinely from my heart interested in promoting what they have to offer because I think it’ll make the world a better place and it’ll change the lives of those who feel called to engage with it. So I really had that kind type of connection with today’s guest, Julie Cidi, who I had, we were on each other’s podcasts like three or four years ago, and we reconnected to do another, you know, podcast guest exchange.

[00:01:20] And it was like no time had passed and. We really could have chatted for hours and hours, and we unpacked how to tap into the happiness you dream of for tomorrow, today, and how this is a true secret to growing a prosperous business to manifesting your dreams and desires. So let’s go ahead and get right.

[00:01:47] In today’s episode, Julie and I both share our journeys to growing a prosperous business and how we overcame the really dark times. We reveal our best tips for tapping into the happiness you dream of for tomorrow, today, so you can truly place your focus on the journey and not the end state.

[00:02:09] We’ll end with an invitation that will have you fully experiencing in this moment, the joy you dream of for tomorrow. So please stay with us until the end. Hello Soul Guide Circle. That is the name of this global community of soul guided leaders, influencers, and entrepreneurs in the Soul Guide Circle.

[00:03:02] We are pursuing our soul guided dreams while lifting up humanity. Find a link to join our closed Facebook [email protected] or in the show notes. Today’s guest is Julie Ciardi. Julie is a business and mindset coach for women. She helps overwhelmed entrepreneurs create a plan to become c e o and design their dream business.

[00:03:25] she is on a mission to help women wake up on Monday mornings, loving what they’re about to do and to create businesses, our careers with intention, joy, and impact.

[00:03:36] Like I said, Julie and I really could have talked for hours and hours on this topic. May you receive as much from her wisdom as I did, please. Hi, Julie. Hello, Allison. I’m so excited to be chatting again. Oh my gosh. So we were on each other’s podcasts like four years ago, I think. I think it was like 2019 or something. I think you’re right. It’s amazing. It’s amazing. And you look amazing by the way. And so do you. Oh, thank you. I think we’re, we’re happy, right?

[00:04:17] Like we’re, we’re on that happiness journey, and I’m telling you, people will say that to me all the time. I’m 48 and I’m turning 49 this year, and I have more women ask me what, like, what’s like, what’s the secret? I’m happy. Yeah. Yeah. That is the secret , that’s a secret. And what I tell my people, I have a lot of entrepreneurs in my audience.

[00:04:37] I know you do too. And when I say to them, I’m happy, I, I hasten to add . Cause it’s usually in the context of the conversation. It’s not because I’m making a ton of money in my business, although my business is doing well, that is not the source that is just sort of a byproduct of the happiness. A hundred percent. A hundred percent. In fact, it’s funny, I was sharing with you before we, we hit record that, you know, I had a, I, I left a very high paying corporate job to start my own business. I left in 2018 and. In essence, I still pay myself out of my business about the same that I was making in my corporate job. So it’s not like financially things have even dramatically changed for us in terms of like, you know, money.

[00:05:29] I, I, I, it’s not about that. It’s about the, I, so my two big, two big words for me are, are, are freedom. An expansion, and I need the space and the freedom so that I can grow and expand. And when I do that, I’m so happy and I felt so constricted for so many, I felt trapped and constricted. So kind of the opposite of freedom and expansion.

[00:05:54] I really feel like my entire corporate career, which ran 20 years. And so you better believe I’m happy. I feel like I escaped Alcatraz. That’s what I have to say. . I so know that. And we talked to human design a little bit before we hit record. You’re a manifesting generator. So you guys are all about freedom.

[00:06:11] Yes. You’re not feeling freedom. You’re gonna feel off. And you’re a projector. Tell me a little, tell us a little bit more about what that kind of core energy, that core is. Success and it’s, I like to add, it’s not necessarily like, oh, I really like that latest Chanel handbag. I must buy that. Although I love a Chanel handbag, but for me to really tap into that, Juicy, joyous success.

[00:06:33] It’s more like soul aligned success, like you’re doing the work in the world that you feel called to do. You’re surrounded by people that you love, and that just gives you a sense of sec, I’m being successful in life on my soul journey. Yes. It’s so good. You know, and it’s funny, right now my definition of success, like kind of where I see myself going, where I wanna be is that, and I’m very much, you’ll like this because it’s what a lot of, I think what you do is, you know, really making sure that you’re building a business or a career that is aligned to you.

[00:07:08] And so my vision, like what I want is I, I wanna be able to, right speak. And one of my favorite things in the world is to be able to create, you know, whether it’s to create some kind of a workshop or create some kind of a seminar or something like that and, and then be able to deliver it and just loving that.

[00:07:30] And so I wanna be in a position at some point where my business, with my team, with the offers that we have and all the things were like, All I get to do right. And just be in the world and doing that. And so really that’s what’s from a freedom and an expansion standpoint, that’s where I’m growing to. And it’s just, it’s, it’s really fun to be on the journey.

[00:07:53] I don’t have to be there totally yet. This is the big secret, and I’d love to hear if this is for you too, that I needed to learn was the cliché of, it’s the journey, but like it really is like, it’s not go, it’s not gonna be better once I get to kind of where I want my business to go and what I wanna be spending every day doing.

[00:08:16] It’s, it’s about enjoying that process of getting there. And, and who, how. I need to shift and grow to get there. And that’s, that’s the happiness, right? If you think you’re only gonna be happy once you hit that next goal or that next thing that you’re trying to achieve, that is you will be chasing happiness forever.

[00:08:37] 100%. I couldn’t agree more. And I’m, I’m, as you were talking, I’m like, and I, I believe what you just said is like one of the secrets to life. You know, one of the secrets to happiness in life and the secrets to manifestation and, and, and, and reaching your goals and dreams. Because when we don’t have that at, when we do have the attitude, when I get Dream X, And I bring that into my experience, then I’ll be happy when that happens.

[00:09:04] And trust me, I have been there where I’m just like, all I need to get is that one thing and then I’ll be happy. That really puts you in the mindset of the chase. And then once you get it, it’s like we can sometimes, like, and I see it with my clients too, like they just, it’s like they don’t even see it.

[00:09:19] They’re already wanting the bigger thing. You know, it’s just thematically goes and you’re not like, wait a minute, I’ve wanted this dream for three years and here it is. I need, am I not gonna take a second to celebrate? Well, that then, that’s what happened to me for 20 years. I mean, from the time I, I, when I was in college, I actually had gotten an internship that they wanted to hire me full-time while I was still in college.

[00:09:43] So by my senior year of college, which I was still. 2021. I was, I was late, you know, I was young going into college, so I was like 20 years old, working full-time in corporate, in a cubicle, right. Going, finishing my last year of college at night. And from that moment, I mean, even during college it, but, you know, it really, that’s like the defining moment where I started working like that.

[00:10:08] And it was a chase from there for almost 20 years, for like 19 years. So till I was about 39, about to turn 40. That’s how I lived. It was, well, I need to find the husband, then I need to, we get the house, then we need to have the kids, and then we need to get the bigger house. And then I need to climb the corporate ladder.

[00:10:31] I need to become an executive. Right? And it was all these things I was chasing. Never actually truly happy to where I am now, which made me feel guilty, by the way, because I thought I should be happy. I have all these things, all these, like these kids and the husband, look what the heck’s going on and it, I promise.

[00:10:50] Anyone that’s listening, chasing a goal does not to get happiness, does not work. If I could, in the last 10 years, well, not even 10 years, eight, so like eight years, I, that’s the work that I’ve been doing. I’m still going after big goals, but I’m not expecting. That’s what’s gonna make me happy. And you’re right, that’s the biggest shift ever you can have Did.

[00:11:16] Do you, what was your past, like, did you have some of that in your past too? I am resonating with your story, Julie. So I had 17 years in government and international government and we had maybe lower salaries, but you know, it was still for government work, comfortable, nice salaries where you. Travel and buy nice things and, you know, live a good life.

[00:11:40] And I think for me, I chased sexy titles, . And like I worked in international work, so I, I chased sexy destinations and I just got back from this, this country and did these amazing things. And it, it became sort of a badge of honor, like to live the most fascinating international life. And I was just empty inside.

[00:12:03] There was no sexy title I could have ever dreamed of getting that would’ve actually made me happy the way I was living this, chasing this hamster on the wheel. I did, you know, then I, I did the pivot over to my own business and I think I, I brought a lot of that with me when I first started my business.

[00:12:22] Totally. Yeah. Yeah. Two years. I brought it with me for two years of my business journey, and it wasn’t until. You know, and in that two years, Alison, I actually became a certified life coach, but in that life coach program, never once. This concept of like this identity and self-worth and self-image and paradigms and, you know, needing to like, go in and really discover who you are and your essence and you know, all the things that never came up in that whole thing.

[00:12:58] And so I’m like starting this business. I, I’m now a certified coach and for two years I struggled, I mean, struggled. I was primary. Breadwinner and my salary went to zero basically in 20 18, 20 19. I think I did like 45,000. Okay. Like, not even scratching the surface. Right. Of what I had been making prior at I B M.

[00:13:25] And it caused a ton of tension at home because my husband was like, I thought, what’s going on here? Right. Thought we were going to be like millionaires by now. It’s kinda what you were telling me. You know? And, and what happened was I heard on a podcast one word that changed everything. It was like a, it was like literally the most defining moment of change.

[00:13:45] And it was the word identity. And even though I had been trained in, in life coaching that, well, it’s your thoughts. It’s your thoughts that create your feelings. And your feelings create your actions. And your actions create your results. Which is, is true, but it’s, it’s the, it’s the paradigms doing the thinking.

[00:14:02] It’s the identity, doing the thinking. It’s, it’s the thinking that’s on loop. In your, in your subconscious. That’s the problem. And I was like, wait, what? ? Like it was this, all of a sudden I wasn’t beating myself up anymore. Like, why can’t you figure this out? Julie, you’ve been successful in the past. Like, why is this not working?

[00:14:24] I went from beating myself up to having compassion and realizing, oh, I have not been doing this other work, even though I kept hearing about it. Oops, you’re limiting beliefs and it’s your blocks. And I’m like, what the heck are you all talking about? Like, I’m successful. I can do this. I don’t even know what you’re talking about.

[00:14:41] Once I heard that word identity, it all clicked for me. I started to realize that I have deep-rooted. Thoughts on thoughts and feelings on Habit Loop that I had to get underneath and change. I had to change who I was being and it was that, those two words, identity and being that set the course for massive growth, not just in me, but of course mirrored then in the business, and I’m assuming you.

[00:15:11] Similar. Yeah. . We could, we could write each other’s memoirs. I know, right? I’m resonating with that so much. I think the thing that was so hard for me to so for me it was all at once. I, I was, I got married later in life because I was a career girl and I was traveling internationally, so it was hard to sustain a relationship.

[00:15:33] So I got married. Quit my day job to start a business and got pregnant all within like a year of each other, and I was, oh my gosh. Yeah, I was in my late thirties, almost 40. I had Frey at 40. I got pregnant at 39, and I had such an identity crisis because then my husband at the time was in the military.

[00:15:54] And people would meet me and he, he was like a defense diplomat, so he worked out of embassies and so I would meet someone. We were, like, for example, when we first got married, he got posted to Oslo, Norway. So we were in Oslo, we were at these dinner parties and people would meet me and my husband was a colonel and they would just assume we’d been married for a long time.

[00:16:14] And I was, you know, and military wives, I love you. Nothing against being a military wife. I was a military wife for yours. They would just kind of assume that I was the trailing spouse. You know, and that was just like, I, I can’t even tell you Julie, what a hard, that identity. I was like, oh my gosh. They don’t realize the career I’ve had. It would just, it just killed me. And my husband was like, dude, like, you need to get over it. Who cares what they think? Like, you know, you don’t have to like recite your resume to them every time you meet someone. And I’m like, oh my God, he is right. Because I was like, it was just, I guess I was insecure and I wasn’t sure about who I.

[00:16:53] They were the mirror. They were the mirror, Julie. They were mirroring my insecurity to me in ways. Oh. And, and I really had a hard time, I don’t know if you did, like I got originally certified in life coaching, but the word life coach, I’m like, how could I go from my sexy title that I had before to life coach?

[00:17:12] Right. And I feel like life coaching is getting to be more of a more, more and more like of a recognized and appreciated and it’s getting more status. But back five years ago, six years ago, I got certified in 2014, it was like life. You’re a what? It was kind of like, you know, it wasn’t serious. It was like a hobby thing.

[00:17:33] Right. And so I had such an identity crisis around just what I called myself. Yes. It was just a huge identity, Christ. And then the other thing I wanted to add was a, a, a thing that I think is so, so hard, especially driven people. And I’m very, I’m very spiritual and I’m also very driven. So however you define yourself, if you’re driven, I think it is so hard to not Decide if you’re being successful or being not successful based on how much money you bring in each month.

[00:18:05] Yeah. Especially as a business owner. Like, did I have a good month? Did I have a 50 K month that I had a, depending on where you’re are in business, did I have a 10 K month? Did I have 50 K month? And if you don’t, it’s really, really hard to, you know, that’s some, that is a journey, and I feel like that’s been one of my biggest breakthroughs to be like, It’s not about the big months or the small months.

[00:18:28] Yes, I wanna set my business up to have those big months as much as possible. And if I don’t, it doesn’t matter. I mean, it just doesn’t matter because when I look back at that month, did I have fun? Was I in my gifts? Was I in service to other, was I helping people? And, and really allowing that to be was I successful or not?

[00:18:51] Oh, and, and I think especially in the beginning, And I know for me, you know, my clients that are listening, they are in their, their beginning stages. And I always say they’re my favorite people to work with because I have so much compassion for myself. If I could go back, I would just like hug me. Like, you touch me too.

[00:19:11] I was like this, so this office that I’m in right now, it was like when, so when we, when I decided to leave corporate, I being the primary breadwinner, we had this huge house. It was. Like 4,500 square feet. It was like, so in a, like a very high tax place in New York, and I was the primary breadwinner. My husband was a police officer at the time, and so I, I said to my husband like, I need to leave this job.

[00:19:39] It’s, it’s literally killing me and I’m, so, I need to go do something else. Like I’m going to have regrets. I had actually read the by Bronny Ware, the top five regrets of the dying. And it kicked me in the Be behind. Let me tell you. I was like, I’m not gonna reach 80, 90 maybe later and, and, and have all these regrets, and I know I will have regrets.

 

[00:20:00] It’s like the Steve Jobs quote, like he looked in the mirror and he said it every single day. He is like, am I, do I love what I’m about to do today? And he said, and if it was no for a few days, days, he would change it. And I went two decades. I was like, what? So it just, that changed everything for me. So I told my husband, we, I, I can’t, we can’t do this.

[00:20:18] I said, we’re gonna have to sell the house. I said, I’m not gonna be handcuffed to a house like for my happiness. And so, We sold the house, we downsized. And when we did that we reduced our like our expenses by like 60% from a, a house and mortgage and taxes standpoint. And we had like downsized and everything.

[00:20:39] And this room was a screened in porch. I didn’t even have my own office now cuz we had downsized. And I can remember sitting. , like right behind me there was, it was a screen and porch. There was a, an outdoor couch right here, like literally right here. I always think about this and my husband and I had gotten in a big argument because I wasn’t making the money yet in the business.

[00:20:58] So you talk about self-worth, right? So like at the core, like, and he was so supportive, but now we’re, we’re like 18 months in now, like, where is the money coming? Like what’s going on? I, we got into an argument, he kind of like needed to go blow off steam and he, he, he left. I just sat on that couch and like bawled my eyes out.

[00:21:16] I mean, I’m just, just crying, right? And so I wanna go back. I’m wanna hug her. I like, that’s why I love to work with women at this. I think it’s way easier to go from, you know, tw like, 10 k months to 20 K months or to like six to seven figures, then it is to start and grow a sustainable business. In the beginning it’s, so it’s, you’re going through this huge inner growth.

[00:21:41] You don’t, may not realize it, but like, , that girl crying behind me on the couch, like she had to do a ton of spiritual inner work to be able to come out of that. It’s like, it’s like when we go to start these businesses or leave a corporate job or make these big changes, it’s literally a spiritual awakening.

[00:22:00] It’s really actually what it is. We just put it in terms of. Business and career and money. And when we do that, like, oh my God, we can beat ourselves up when we’re not making the money yet. And so we measure it all just based on that. Yeah. And it’s, it’s really, really hard. And so my heart goes out to anyone that’s listening that’s there.

[00:22:23] Just know that you’re not alone and how much money you make in that business has nothing to do with who you are and your self worth. You just have some blocks you need to get through and and past to be able to get to that kind of that core of you so that you can start to create that business at the level that you want.

[00:22:46] So, so beautiful and, and one thing I like to tell my clients who are on the new side of their entrepreneurial journey is, you know, a lot of them are coming from other careers, and I asked them, okay, in that career, how much education did you get? You probably got four years in a bachelor’s degree. Some people got 2, 3, 4 years an advanced degree.

[00:23:08] Then maybe you did an internship. I did an, I did a non-paid internship, and then maybe you had that first job that didn’t pay so great and you gave yourself years and you had compassion on yourself because you were young and you were just getting started. So if you’re not, if you’re someone who doesn’t come back with a sales and marketing background, and most of my clients don’t, there is, there is time to learn.

[00:23:30] And it takes time and there are people, I hear it. They’re like, oh, my first year of business I made, you know, lots of money. I made well into the six figures. Most people, I certainly did not emphasize, not have that experience. And it took me, yeah, yeah. I mean it was blood, sweat, and tears, to get, to get where I needed to be.

[00:23:51] And I, again, just resonating with your story. When I decided to go full-time in my business, my husband got laid off of course. And then I know, right? Of course. I’m like, are you kidding me? And so then like being, like being the business owner and being the, the sole breadwinner, it was like, I, I really thought that, you know, the gods were being cruel to me, but I look back the, the world on your shoulders.

[00:24:15] Yeah, exactly. Yeah. And I look back and I’m just, I’m glad it happened because that also gave me the belief system that I can do this, I can do this. I got this. And it, it actually helped me to believe in myself when I was like, you know, and, and, and it also helped me to to say, I’m not gonna go amateur anymore on this.

[00:24:35] I’m going pro. Yes, you, you upleveled, you upleveled, uplevel. So if anybody’s listening Al and you feel like you have this money pressure, I’m, I’m with you and I feel it. And one thing I can say is like, allow, yeah. What do I wanna say to you?

[00:24:51] I wanna say I’m getting called to say, There’s a lightness and a darkness to it, all right? And the darkness, you know, comes from our money wounds. And you know, we all have the wounds. We don’t deserve it. We have to really, really work hard to receive anything and all those. And so that’s inviting and the healing.

[00:25:06] But I think you can also lean into the bright side of it where you can really lean into it for motivation. And really belief in yourself that you can do this, you got this. And so, so if you do feel like you do have pressure to earn because of family circumstances use it as a way to just say, you know what, I have this pressure on me and I got this, I got this.

[00:25:31] And I think, so for, for me, I like that volcano thing you just said because that’s how it felt to me. Like it was. Same here, cuz I, you know, I, here I moved my family. Like you start, you start to feel like, okay, like guilty, right? Like, so I, I move my family and we downsize trying to build this business.

[00:25:47] We’re not going on the $10,000 vacations, you know, anymore. You know, we’re kind of like, you know, kind of until I’m getting the business to where it needs to be and. The pressure from with my husband. And it was like, that was probably the hardest time in our relationship ever. And, and, and, and on top of that, I’m trying to build this business, right?

[00:26:04] And so it was like this volcano that just like was ready to erupt. And that eruption is what actually CR started my journey into using tools and coaching to get to know me. And to see where I was boxed so that when it, when it really erupted, I mean, and it was like, I’ll never forget, , had paid like $15,000 for a v i p day with this coach and his wife, me going in strategy wise, right?

[00:26:37] I love how the universe works, so I’m like, I, I love how you guys have built your business. Can you help me? I wanna do strategy with you and da da da da. So I had rented a hotel room so I could just like be on Zoom with them for like five hours. We were gonna like, work on my business, how we’re gonna. And the funny thing is, is that we spent almost half of that time with me in a box of tissues crying because they just asked me a couple of questions cuz they knew.

[00:27:05] They knew. And just like you and I know now that your, your business growth is going to also mirror. Where, how you see you and patterns on loop and all these things. But I didn’t really, really get that, that well. Then I got it a little bit, but not totally, and I was doing sheer like, I can do this, you know, and da, da, da.

[00:27:29] And so I met with them and they asked me this one question. It’s like, like you, you know, they kind of poked at the husband and the relationship and it kind of all came out and I started crying that I felt, I didn’t even care if my business made money. I was at this point trying to like appease everybody.

[00:27:45] And I, I actually came down to a core belief that I had, which was that my family, my entire family, I have three kids and my husband, that my entire family’s future well, Happiness was on my shoulders, and I had no idea the depth of that belief and what was happening because of that. And that one moment sparked me to get to know myself better.

[00:28:13] And that’s when, and I’d love to kind of talk a little bit about some like tools that helped to go deeper, right? Because straight up coaching’s awesome. And then at the same time, You have to start developing a practice to get to know you better because you, your coach isn’t gonna sit there next to you every single minute of every single day,

[00:28:35] You’ve gotta do the work yourself too. And I was like, well, how do I do that? And that’s when, you know, that was when actually I got introduced to the Enneagram. And that was, I believe that the Enneagram is an incredibly powerful tool to diagnose those limiting beliefs. So I spent $15,000 to get that one.

[00:28:56] Recognized cause I couldn’t see the end of my own nose on that. But then going into the Enneagram, it unleashed all of these hidden beliefs I didn’t even realize that I was carrying and thinking about and on loop and on pattern. And that was, that is when things really started to open up and you know, now human design, working with that, you go even deeper into the core in essence of, of you know, authentic self and who you are.

[00:29:24] I highly recommend, you know, for people listening that, you know, you can try with your sheer will to try, but you cannot outperform the cliched term limiting beliefs. But it’s, that is actually true. It’s like you can’t outperform how your subconscious actually sees yourself. Yeah. How they, how it actually is programmed to see things and see the world and see results.

[00:29:49] And so tools like the Agram Human Design have been. Powerful tools in, and I’m n and we’re never done. Right. I’m, I’m never done to unearth what these hidden things were so that I can keep working on them. I just had a huge download of a few of them today that I’m like, whoa. Yeah. Yeah. That memory was way pushed down.

[00:30:11] I didn’t realize. Or, or even just seeing a pattern, you know, from. Childhood memories and I’m like, wow. Like I didn’t realize I was, I, I still think that way. Yeah. So I would love to hear, you can share, you know, too, like when did you start going from sheer will of like, I’m gonna believe in myself and I’m gonna get this done to going deeper into this other work and tools that you use and kind of how that played out for you.

[00:30:38] Yeah, it was, you know, it kind of, it, it, a lot of the, the, the ways that I help my clients are the ways I help myself get through what we’re talking about, to shift out of some of these core, core limiting, painful stories, beliefs. You know, Julie, it, a lot of the stuff I use came out of me organically in coach coaching sessions.

[00:31:02] I love, and I always feel like that’s such a good sign. Like that’s really, you tapped into your unique genius when all of a sudden it’s just coming out of you and you don’t know where it’s coming from. And so one of the things that just came out, started coming out of me in coaching sessions was my healing.

[00:31:17] I didn’t, I didn’t. I didn’t go to any healing trainer or class. I did, you know, classical certified life coaching master coach certification. But then I realized in my sessions that I was actually a healer and I do energy healing. My energy healing. Really, it, it has two components. The first component is identifying the core limiting or painful thought, and the second is noticing what emotions are triggered.

[00:31:43] When that thought feels a hundred percent true, you know, the what the, my, my family’s wellbeing. Is a hundred percent my responsibility. When that thought feels true, I imagine that triggers overwhelm, exhaustion, maybe a little resentfulness, fear, anger, like all the things, right? And so then what I do is I do something called Feel the feels.

[00:32:04] Yep. And this is the release. , this is when we release these energy wounds that are trapped inside of us. Sometimes they’re like, as you mentioned, tamped way deep down in cuz we don’t wanna deal with it. Right? But just with compassion and grace, inviting those wounds up to the surface, just to be what I say experienced.

[00:32:25] And you can, you can do that by just sinking into your body. Once you identify the thought, then and, and you identify the emotions, you can let the thought go. You don’t need to, you don’t need to. You know, you don’t need to dwell on the thought, you just wanna find it, find the emotions. And then when you go into the field of the fields, just focus on the emotions.

[00:32:43] It actually helps healing to become a more easeful process because you don’t have the, the story doesn’t have its grip on you anymore. And that’s the story is the, the source of the pain. Right? A hundred percent. Yeah. And so, and for you, so, and, and then using that, like, so what, for you personally, before kind of you.

[00:33:04] Having that, that intuitive ability with the, with your clients, how did you do it? Like, how did you, like, cuz clearly you had a bunch of limiting thoughts that maybe you couldn’t see so clearly. How did, like, what was that journey like for you to go from where you were like, oh my God, like my husband’s now laid off and now this is on me and sheer will, like where did, how.

[00:33:27] Go for you. So I got started where I got started with thought work that led into my energy work, which. All about thought work as well. Is Byron Katie? Do you know Byron? Yeah. Oh, that still work? So I, so Martha Beck, I got certified through Martha Beck and she teaches, like her methodology is basically for thought work is very much she’s got her own thing, but she’s very much, she’s very good friends with Byron Katie and she’s like, learn Byron Katie.

[00:33:56] So I got on a huge Byron Katie kick for like two years. And Julie, when I tell you, I filled up notebooks and notebooks and notebooks, the work by Byron Katie, for those who don’t know, it’s a thought inquiry process and it’s four questions. So you identify the limiting belief. I’m not, I’m not worthy of making money in my business.

[00:34:17] I think is one. Like a lot of my clients struggle with. You ask the question, you ask four questions. The first one, is it true? Yes or no? You have to commit to a yes or no. Yes. The second one is, can I really know it’s true? And there’s no right or wrong answer, so it’s not really the point to always get a to a no, it’s not true.

[00:34:34] It’s just getting you to the point that, hmm, it’s possible that the thought may be something other than, yes, it’s true . And then how does that feel? , how does your life look when you think the thoughts? True? And that’s really where my work now comes in. That’s where energy work comes in. Yeah. Cause that thought three, it’s the feeling the, it’s the feeling, the energy.

[00:34:53] Yeah, exactly. And that gets your energy moving. And when it’s moving, it’s re, it starts to release. It starts to leave your energy system. And the fourth is, who would I be without the thought? And that kind of liberates you, that gives you that sense of freedom that you know what? I am more than my thoughts.

[00:35:09] And I am a person without this thought that’s been holding me. . Yeah. And so I have to say I don’t practice the work anymore because I feel like my energy process is more efficient Grown. You, but yeah, I You’ve grown in your ability. Exactly. Percent. Exactly. That’s why I think so. Like, it’s almost like, it’s almost like your practice, your tools, your methodologies, like how you like it, it’s going to evolve as you evolve, right?

[00:35:37] It’s like Absolutely. For anyone listening, right? Like, so whether you. You work with Alison, you’re working with me, or you’re in either of our communities. It’s just remember like we’re never done either. So Alison and I are on, are continuing our practices and processes and how we do things right so that we get to that next level of growth for us, which I, I like to think of that as like, you know, we’re kind of blazing the trail.

[00:36:09] As you grow, you kind of need different practices and tools and approaches to get And cuz we’re never done, we’re never done, we’re never done. We’re never done in that growth. And I think for me personally, I again cuz I was trained at the Life coach school, which she. I figured too was firing Katie and, and Martha was back, right?

[00:36:31] Yes. And a Martha back person. Yeah, totally. And so I heard you talking about the model and I said to myself, I think she was certified from the Life Coach . And it was great. And I like it. I like it from a, when something’s obvious. So when something’s really obvious going on in your life, I, I found that how I was trained with the model is awesome, not great when you’re trying to uncover a limiting belief.

[00:36:57] If we could uncover our limiting beliefs, , like in a really obvious way, like we would move a lot faster. Right? And we’d have quantum leaps, right? And so I, I just probably like you. , I’ve taken pieces, right? It was like, kind of took the model that I worked with Bob Proctor, which was all about paradigms and the programming from the time we were born and all the conditioning and all the things, and needing to rewrite all of that to, you know, using some tools like the, so just like, kind of like taking all these pieces and bringing them together in a way.

[00:37:34] Works for me and for my clients. And I think you’re doing the same thing. It’s like you, you’re taking the pieces and you’re taking your own experience. Well, fasten fascinatingly enough when, the big thing for, for, for me recently in my own growth is I always talk about stepping into being her. Right?

[00:37:53] It’s kind like the fourth question in Byron Katie’s work. Like, who would I be without that thought? So we call it being her. It’s like, okay. Like with your big goal, next goal or what you’re working towards, if you’ve already, if that’s already done, what would you be thinking? What would you be feeling like?

[00:38:10] What would your energy be like? All of the things and so very future focused, right? Like very much like I’m being present, but being her now. Right. Cause like let’s be her now. That’s how we’d enjoy that journey. Right? But where recently I’ve started to realize in my own personal growth, There’s pieces of my energy that are still back with like me and my soul and my essence back in the past.

[00:38:38] Not from like a healing standpoint, but more from like, Oh, I forgot about you. Like you should kinda come with me on this journey here. Cause we’re, does it make it whole? You know what I mean? And, and, and, and so it’s, it’s been kind of fun, honestly to actually look back a little bit cuz I’m a big, like with, especially with coaching, it’s like, okay, therapy, we unpack everything.

[00:38:59] Coaching we go forward, but not necessarily there’s ways to go back in a really. Beautiful way, in a compassionate way to say, oh wow, I, that’s why maybe I’m having this limiting belief right now because that this was a pattern, this was something that happened over and over again, and, and, and not just in things we were told, but how in our behavior, right.

[00:39:26] When your behavior is a reflection of your thoughts on a. Because anything that’s a behavior is coming through your subconscious, which means you put those thoughts in a loop. So wh when did that happen? Where are those patterns? Seeing them and going, huh, okay, great. Now I can rewrite them. It’s not like we def like people, like define themselves like by them.

[00:39:48] Like, well, this is how I am. Well, I’m a procrastinator, I’m a perfectionist. I’m not good with money. I’m right. And these are just stories, but they’re there because of those patterns that kind of got, IM imprinted. It’s kind of, you know, what happens. So it’s been really it’s, it’s just a beautiful thing that we get to rewrite.

[00:40:06] We get to decide who we’re going to be without those thoughts, without those feelings and all the things, but also also having compassion for how that happened so that that’s part of the rewrite. You know, it’s just fascinating and I don’t think we’re ever. We’re never done with because we, we would be our pure, highest energy self if we had it all figured out.

[00:40:31] And that’s not gonna happen in our time here. Yeah. You know, I would say if we haven’t, yeah. If we had it all figured out, if we weren’t feeling pain, we’d just be enlightened. We’d be enlightened. Souls, you know, like Buddha or Jesus or Exactly. Fill in the blank. And most of us, it’s just not our trajectory for this lifetime.

[00:40:46] Might be, might be. I always say everything’s possible. No, you never know . You never know. And, and I love what you’re saying and I’m gonna add a, a, an addendum to what you’re saying. Go for it. About looking back. At the patterns that aren’t serving you. And another thing that can happen, especially when you have experiences like we had Julie, where you were in a career for years that just wasn’t a fit.

[00:41:12] You can say to yourself, I’m gonna reject all pieces of that part of me to start the new thing. Yep. And you even reject the things that were actually pretty damn good and pretty damn authentic. And I noticed that I had done that. And so it’s also like retrieving those pieces of you that you thwarted because you were throw, thwarting everything from that time of your life to say, what are the things that I actually do want to reintegrate into my experience?

[00:41:39] And so that’s, that’s a nice way too to look at both the patterns and those, those awesome pieces. Gems of yourself. Yes. The gem, gems. Gems. And it’s like that. It was interesting when I worked with an Enneagram coach back in that time when it was like, it was funny. Like she was like, so tell me. No one asked me this question ever.

[00:41:58] No one ever asked me this question. So tell me about like when you were at I B M, what was something you really loved? Not mine, because I had literally just thrown it all out. Yes. . Like, I’m going this way, right? Yes. Right. And I’m like, oh, and two huge things, which is exactly what I’m doing now. I’m just doing it in a different way.

[00:42:19] When she asked me this question, which is that’s why I love coaching, right? Coaches ask you questions, they don’t know the answer. They’re helping you go in to find the answer, cuz all the answers are in you. And I was like, oh, well I. I’m, I was really good at taking very complex topics and complex ideas and putting them into a, into presentation and being able to share it in a way, which is so funny cuz human design wise like that is like my, what I, it’s crazy.

[00:42:49] Like I’m undefined and the, it’s crazy. So I’m very much, that’s, this is what I, I am good at doing and I used to love it. I used to actually feel right, the energy feel. That was when I would feel amazing. Is when I would take this complicated thing, I would put it into a presentation. I would get up and present it in a room full of people and people like, oh, that they got it.

[00:43:07] And I was like, oh. And that’s exactly what I’m doing now, right? I like take these complicated thoughts and ideas and how life works and all the things and bring them into my community in a way that people like it resonates with them. And then I love to lead women. I was a mentor for women in the company and like that’s exactly what I’m doing.

[00:43:23] I only work with women and I helped to take very complicated things, whether it’s business or spiritual or, and. And bring it into a way that people can digest. And so her asking me that question, I’m like, that was a gem. Those were gems. And so we have these gems that like are in that past.

[00:43:39] And I agree with you. It’s like we’re so quick to move this way. And when we do look back, we’re usually looking at things didn’t go good for us. Yeah, exactly that. And so I love that. I think that that’s so important for people to take some time. To do that work. Yes. Yes, yes. Oh my gosh. I could talk to you forever, Julie.

[00:44:02] I know you can talk. This is so much fun. I have one other, I have one final little tool or idea or perspective to share regarding like how can we shift into making it about the journey? And I’m gonna share something that really helped me to be in the journey and not just focused on that end goal or desire.

[00:44:22] And that was, and it’s a real energetic theme of 2023. We’re kind of being asked the collective is asking us to really get into this energy, and that is shifting your currency, the currency that you get paid in to be a currency of wellbeing. And it is a perspective and we’ve been socially conditioned up the, out the wazo to not think in those terms.

[00:44:48] And what I mean by that is imagine, and this is a big shift I’ve made in my business this year that is just helping me to feel happy a lot, , it’s also increasing my revenue as a byproduct. And so I, my, my core valued feeling states for 2020. Are ease, flow, and harmony. I have them written here on sticky notes on my computer.

[00:45:11] Ease, flow, and harmony, and I won’t do anything in my business unless it helps me to feel ease, flow, and harmony. Now, I just did my taxes so that wasn’t. Ease, flown harmony, but when I got it done, it was right. So it’s not like, you know, so like overall you are in, in an energetic frequency of ease, flow, and harmony.

[00:45:30] And the more I can feel that, the more I’m immersed in it and I’m just like, oh my God, this just feels so easeful and flow and harmony. I’m giving that an equal value to dollars in my bank account. It’s as valuable or more valuable than. However much money or income I could bring into my business, and the more I really embrace that, I’m, I’m seeing as a byproduct of that the, the, the revenue increasing each month.

[00:45:59] And so, It’s an invitation I have for the listeners and it, it, this kind of thinking doesn’t happen overnight, but you can start by it. It didn’t happen with me anyway. This was like a, a journey to shift into this, this this currency, the new currency being wellbeing, and just start by like what are my core valued feeling states.

[00:46:19] What are the things, what are the feelings I really wanna feel this year? Cuz it will. You’ll have years where you’ll wanna be peaceful. You’ll have years that you just wanna be exhilarated. You know, it’ll shift. Just asking the question this year, what are the core valued feeling states that I wanna feel?

[00:46:35] And then asking the question, what can I do? Who can I be to help myself feel more of these experience, more of these feels on an average day, not after the goal, not after I get the goal, but in this moment, I love that. And so I’ll mirror. On kind of the, the tactical, practical side then too. Okay. Because I love that and I’m a big fan of, it’s always about like, how can we be in those?

[00:46:58] That vibration, that feeling, that energy now, now, yes. Is after. Yes. So I love that. I think that that’s, so everyone write that one down, right? Like what are those feeling states? What are those core feelings that say you wanna feel? Cuz you, they’re, they’re available to you now, right now, right, right now. So then I’ll take it on the tactical, practical side from an invitation stand.

[00:47:18] And that is, and I love what you said about the currency being wellbeing, because I, I do feel that how we have absolute agency over how we build these businesses now, listen, it is really noisy on social media, on how you’re supposed to build your business. Tune that out. and make sure that you’re also building your business in alignment with how you want to feel.

[00:47:48] So for me, my words are freedom, expansion, creation, and then priestess is my fourth word. So, but, but my, but like in the freedom, choice and expansion, that is like the lens that I look to of how I’m gonna build my business. And in fact, we had a seven figure year in 2021. And I deliberately rolled things back in 2022 because I didn’t like, it didn’t feel in alignment with how I was scaling and growing it because of those words, freedom, choice, expansion.

[00:48:23] Like I was, I didn’t wanna create another job for myself like I did with I B M, right? So you can build your business. In a way that aligns with those core feelings and making sure that you’re doing that. Because I see so many people end up building businesses that they actually aren’t energetically aligned to.

[00:48:43] They build business, the businesses because they think that’s how they’re supposed to do it, how they’re supposed to do the marketing, how they’re supposed to do the sales, how they’re supposed to, what the offers. Right? It’s a high ticket now. Oh, now it’s a low ticket, or now what? This is happening. It’s like, it’s so loud.

[00:48:57] Go in. This is my invitation to go in after you do the what, what Allison just said to do with your core feeling state. Now look at your business. Is your business currently set up and where you’re trying to get it to grow, going to be a match? For that feeling, state two, and if not, make some changes.

[00:49:20] That’s what we’ve been doing. We like, I’m not looking at it in terms of like, I have to hit this certain amount of revenue. It’s like I need to maintain how I wanna feel in my business, and for me to do that, I’m gonna have to make changes in necessarily in how, like what offers I’m making. How I’m, I’m growing it and what that looks like.

[00:49:39] So that would be my, my especially since so many of our list, both of our listeners are, you know, growing business. Yes. And you just said it. It’s not asking the question, not leading with the question, how can I make this much money in my business, but it’s, how can I maintain how I wanna feel in my business?

[00:49:56] And your brain might pop in and say, well, that’s not gonna pay the bills. And I’m just saying, I think that you and I are both examples, if it actually really, really can, and it is the best way to tap into the ease and flow of your. And, and, and really magnetizing those clients into your experience instead of feeling like you’re on that treadmill, hustling, hustling your way along.

[00:50:18] Okay. You and I, I think we could just keep going and go, I know we gotta wrap. We gotta wrap. We gotta, you know, we gotta go do some work. Exactly. So, Julie, I would love to know how, I know my listeners are gonna wanna learn more about you. How can they find you? Yeah, well, I mean, I think it’s great if you know, again, podcast listeners, I have a, you know, my podcast is ignite her.

[00:50:39] But we also have a free community. I wanted to get away from social media in terms of energy protection and all of that kind of stuff. So we actually created our own app and we have a free society in there, which is called Ignite Her Society. So you can check it out, join for free. I do a daily message in there every day to kind of really reframe and reset for people their day.

[00:50:59] And that’s all free and it’s fun and it’s a great community. And so you can check that out. It’s Ignite Her Society dot com. I love that you have an app, by the way. Yeah, and I love that. I know because I just, I like, I know me and energetically like again, social media. Is amazing in so many ways and it also can be a real energy draw and you know, if you let it.

[00:51:23] And so we just wanted to kind of have a more protected space, which I think is really cool. This has been so great. I love chatting with you. I’m so excited that this gets to be on both of our podcasts for our amazing listeners, and I just am really happy to have connected with you again. This is so fun. Oh my gosh, this has been great.

[00:51:40] And like I said, I could just keep chatting with you for hours, but we’ll have to do it again, and thank you so much for sharing your wisdom with my people today. Thank Thank you so much, dear listener for tuning in. My invitation for you this week is to think about. How it would feel to fulfill one big dream you have for yourself.

[00:52:11] Name those emotions and invite those very emotions into your present moment and bonus points for identifying any activities that you can do today to enable you to feel those feelings even. All right, dear ones, that’s all I have for you this week, and as always, until next time, may your soul guide the way.

Timestamps:

00:01  Intro

03:57  Meet Julie Ciardi

06:05  Chasing the goal

12:26  Identity

15:20  Identity crisis

19:16  Early stages of a business

25:32  The volcanic eruption & self work tools

33:01  The Work & evolving methods

37:44  “Be her now”

40:52  Retrieving pieces of you

44:04  Shifting into making it about the journey

50:19  Conclusion