Stop Fixing and Start Living: How to Inhabit Your Joy with Elena Sonnino

[00:00:00] Allyson Scammell: Hello, dear ones. Quick. What’s the first thing that comes to mind when I ask what’s the biggest thing in your life you need to fix? Is it something in your house? Is it something in your life, in your business, something about yourself, your body, what do you need to fix? It’s been a real awakening for me since I recorded this interview about

[00:00:27] Allyson Scammell: how often I’m trying to fix things, find solutions, meddle in situations. I probably shouldn’t be meddling in to ensure or rather force air quotes solution. And, oh, my good golly is it powerful and results producing to

[00:00:55] Allyson Scammell: stop trying to fix everything and instead going into allowing, and you’ve probably heard coaches talk about this before. Probably not gonna shock you that I’m offering this idea to stop trying to fix things, but we’re gonna unpack it in a way that I have a strong hunch you’re gonna hear about fixing and living and inhabiting joy in ways that you probably haven’t considered before.

[00:01:29] Allyson Scammell: And I have a strong hunch that it’s going to, it’s gonna inspire you to look at the challenges in your own life, in a whole new way, and in a way that enables you to find the best, real long term sustainable solutions that arrive with the greatest ease into your life, so this is a powerful episode for you today.

[00:01:58] Allyson Scammell: And I have the privilege of speaking to the amazing Elena Sonnino about this idea of stopping our effort to fix things, halting those efforts in their tracks and why we should. So, in today’s episode, we talk about what it actually means to stop fixing, how to start listening and allowing instead, and how to be your own soft place to land by focusing on self-compassion practices, we’ll end on an invitation that will have you rediscovering what allowing truly means

[00:02:42] Allyson Scammell: so, you can receive the best heart aligned solutions to your challenges. So please stay with us until the end. Welcome to soul guide radio, a podcast for soul guided leaders, influencers, and entrepreneurs here to bring about change on a massive level. We’ll explore how you can activate your big soul mission,

[00:03:08] Allyson Scammell: amplify your spiritual gifts and clear the energy blocks weighing you down so you can gain unstoppable momentum in life and business. I’m Allyson Scammell your host and soul guide.

[00:03:26] Allyson Scammell: Hey there, soul guide circle. That is the name of this community of soul guided leaders, influencers, and entrepreneurs. In the soul guide circle, we have big soul missions, and we yearn to earn more, serve more and grow spiritually along the way. If you aren’t already a member, then I, from my heart, invite you to join our Facebook group of over 1900 leaders and light workers who are in service to each other, and the planet. Find a link to join on my website.

[00:03:56] Allyson Scammell: allysonscammell.com or in the show notes today. Our guest is Elena Sonnino, and we talk about an absolutely delightful topic. Elena has me as she’s holding this space for me. I, you know, I have a moment in this episode, you guys, I have a real breakthrough moment. Thanks to her. And I have to tell you, since recording this episode, I have experienced a huge shift in my life in particular, with regard to my daughter.

[00:04:30] Allyson Scammell: In trying to fix my daughter’s challenges and how that is just a whole lot of expended effort and energy on my part that really doesn’t work, and Elena offers a much, much better solution to when we feel those urges to fix things in our lives or in the lives of those who we love. Today’s guest is Elena Sonnino.

[00:04:56] Allyson Scammell: She is on a mission to inspire individuals and groups to thrive in their lives with more curiosity, purpose, and delight. She runs a coaching practice. She’s a keynote speaker and a yin yoga teacher. I don’t have to tell you, you will see in the interview how much I received from this, from this exchange of wisdom.

[00:05:18] Allyson Scammell: So, may it serve you as profoundly as it served me, please enjoy.

[00:05:34] Allyson Scammell: Welcome Elena to soul guide radio.

[00:05:39] Elena Sonnino: Allyson thank you for having me. I’m so delighted to get to spend this time with you.

[00:05:42] Allyson Scammell: Fantastic. We share something extremely special in common. We share a virtual assistant, actually. Tasha is my online business manager, and I know she does some work for you too. So, what a special connection we have?

[00:05:56] Elena Sonnino: Absolutely. All the adoration for all things Tasha.

[00:05:59] Allyson Scammell: Absolutely. Absolutely. All right. Well, today we’re talking about how to stop fixing, and start living and inhabiting our joy. And so, I would love to like, let’s get in deep here. We can, we can hear these words, Elena, and they can sound good, but I like to go in and, and really talk about what it really means and how we can really integrate the wisdom and talk about what we do

[00:06:25] Allyson Scammell: when we just have the bad days. And, and so I would love to just have like a real conversation with you that goes in a little bit deeper on all of these topics than maybe other people are going. So, I’d love to start by asking you. What does it mean to you to stop fixing?

[00:06:46] Elena Sonnino: Yes. And I’m here for this deep conversation because it is so necessary.

[00:06:50] Elena Sonnino: So, fixing, I think many of us, the society that we are in is all about fixing right? Seeing problems and creating solutions and there are things in this world that absolutely 100% need to be fixed. And if you are bleeding, please put on a bandaid. But we, you and I are rarely in need of fixing, we are not broken.

[00:07:19] Elena Sonnino: We don’t need to MacGyver ourselves and I think about this idea from, you know, I learned. I felt broken for a very long time and a lot of different people and circumstances have quote unquote told me I needed to be fixed. Oftentimes it started in my body right from when I first got off a plane coming back from having spent the year, summer in Europe, after high school.

[00:07:48] Elena Sonnino: And this was still in the days when people could come to the, the, you know, the gate to greet

[00:07:53] Elena Sonnino: you at the airport. and my mom who I love and adore, looked at me when I got off the plane and was like, oh, you’re coming to the gym with me tomorrow. Oh my God. I spent the summer in Zurich drinking Guinness. Yeah. Right.

[00:08:07] Elena Sonnino: And look, I love my mom, but, but there was that she saw me and was like, something needs to change. To fast forward when I was diagnosed with Hodgkin’s disease in my early twenties, clearly, we needed to fix, right? I needed medicine at that time to help me. The energetic remnants, all of that left me feeling a bit broken.

[00:08:34] Elena Sonnino: Like I couldn’t trust my body. Like something was wrong with me and that’s how ripple effects in my life. And you don’t have to have a cancer experience to feel that way. In our relationship, sometimes we feel like things need to be fixed, in ourselves, in our day to day. And so, there’s this element of how do we get out of that space of feeling like

[00:08:58] Elena Sonnino: we’re broken? All in all, whatever it is, we’re feeling, whatever it is, the circumstance, notice it, and then replace the fixing with curiosity, right? With this allowing and I know that you and I also share the love of deep, intuitive connection, right? Of having that power, that clarity come from inside. And I’ve learned this over and over again in my life.

[00:09:27] Elena Sonnino: And it always astounded me every time I’m reminded of this lesson.

[00:09:32] Allyson Scammell: It is astounding. I totally agree with you. And you’re really like triggering something in me that has been triggered recently. And I call myself, Elena, an expert energy healer. I’ve done like a lot of coaches and healers, loads of healing on myself, but I just had like, your story with your mom is making me think of, I just have to sort of deep epiphany about my relationship with my dad, my nickname as a child

[00:10:01] Allyson Scammell: and he still calls me this and it is a term of endearment. And I do believe he does intend it with love, especially now as an adult, but I was a big energy as a kid. I was a big life force, and I was hard to parent. So, I was I’m empathetic now because I am now raising a big life force and I understand how challenging it can be.

[00:10:25] Allyson Scammell: But my father’s nickname for me, for my entire life has been nuisance, nuisance, and he’s always called me nuisance. And I was always like, oh yeah, it’s a term of endearment. You know, my dad is a good guy. Just like your mom is a good person. Yeah. Mm-hmm. But I realized that I took that, like I am 46 years old, and I’ve been in the coaching and health and development for years.

[00:10:55] Allyson Scammell: And I’m just now realizing how much I took that on. I am a nuisance. Yes. That needed to be fixed. Right?

[00:11:05] Elena Sonnino: Absolutely. And we hear, we absorb all these messages, right? And yes, they’re, you know, they’re terms of endearment, all well intentioned and they stick, and it begins to, to poke holes in how we trust ourselves, how we show up for ourselves, how we show up for others, because there’s that little voice lingering behind us.

[00:11:29] Elena Sonnino: Yeah. Yeah. It’s interesting, right? All the circumstances in terms of what needs to be fixed. We recently had a situation with our dog, in fact, where he was attacked by a neighbor’s dog, and he has become quite sensitive, and I went into fixing mode when it happened. I became very reactive and wanted to absolutely change the circumstance,

[00:11:57] Elena Sonnino: right? And it’s, it’s interesting how those little moments or big moments can then really open up this fixing idea and how to me, when we go into fixing mode, we’re very reactive instead of curious and compassionate with ourselves and open to possibility. And so, this. And the dog is fine. He’s okay

[00:12:22] Elena Sonnino: now, except that he’s been, you know, assaulted. Yeah. Twice by another dog and, aw, helps us every day. And it’s been a interesting teacher to really remember, okay, if I didn’t have to react in the way that I’m reacting, if I could notice that everybody’s okay now, you know, because his reaction sometimes comes from my reaction.

[00:12:43] Elena Sonnino: So, fixing has this domino effect.

[00:12:48] Allyson Scammell: So, let’s talk just a little bit more about fixing mode. What are some characteristics of fixing mode? How can we go into it? How can we notice when we are in fixing mode? I think when I look at my example of I’m a nuisance, I try to fix myself, right? Fix myself to not be a nuisance, not be a bother.

[00:13:06] Allyson Scammell: And how do I do that? I am overly accommodating. I’m overly people pleasey because I don’t want you to feel that I’m a bothersome nuisance. What are some other ways we go into fixing mode and how can we spot it when it happens?

[00:13:21] Elena Sonnino: To me, one of the first things that happens we’re in fixing mode is our inner critic voice gets really loud and we start to perhaps overthink to absolutely as you said, you know, people please, move out of alignment with our core values, out of alignment with what we know is true for us. The other thing that happens is I think that we, we stop feeling nourished because nothing that we can do is really ever good enough.

[00:13:55] Elena Sonnino: We start looking for solutions and we look for solutions outside of ourselves. So, we look for, you know, the right podcast or book or program that is going to quote unquote, fix us. Right? And so, we turn outside of ourselves and for me, the thing that helps me notice those moments are two things, coming into my body

[00:14:20] Elena Sonnino: right? So, taking three breaths, just sitting in a child’s pose and listening, being, taking a body scan, even lying-in bed. So that’s the awareness in my body usually helps me realize that I’m disconnected from my body when I enter fixing mode. The other thing that helps me and that has helped my clients is, you know, journaling, brain dumping, taking everything that’s on your brain, in your brain and giving it a place to live on paper and without judgment or censoring

[00:14:54] Elena Sonnino: or needing to fix or change anything about it, really just giving it a place to exist so then we can start to notice it, honor it, allow it, and then make decisions from there. Right? So, there’s a, there’s a lot of noticing and allowing that I think helps us both become aware that we have entered this yellow or red zone, um,

[00:15:15] Elena Sonnino: fixing mode, and then also begin to acknowledge and perhaps move out of it.

[00:15:22] Allyson Scammell: I like how you keep referencing the body and the importance of going back into the body. I teach people how to connect and amplify their intuitive gifts and I always say that intuitive gifts live from the neck down and you’ve gone through quite a journey with your body. And you’ve said that you’ve transformed your relationship with your body to one

[00:15:44] Allyson Scammell: that was an enemy to one that is now an ally. And talk about like this conversation of fixing, how many of us have at times thought that we needed to fix our body? There’s something wrong with our body, recalling your mother’s story. We need to go to the gym. I have a very similar story of when I was posted in my old career to Darfur and there was no gym.

[00:16:07] Allyson Scammell: And the only thing to eat really was like heavy meat and bread so you better believe I came back, not in my fittest form and it was kind of devastating some of the comments I got back from mostly my work colleagues who were not fit people but felt the need to comment about how much weight I had put on.

[00:16:27] Allyson Scammell: And I immediately, at that time, went into fixing mode, very self-critical of my form. And then like, how can I fix this form? And if there’s one thing that I’ve learned, as you have, and I’d love to hear your story, how I’ve transformed from in a similar way you have from my body being an enemy to an ally.

[00:16:48] Allyson Scammell: And, and now I just feel deep love for my body who’s just my God Pod and you’re here to help me, protect me and tune me into my intuition and make me feel better. So, I’d love to hear a little bit about your story in this transformation as well. Yeah,

[00:17:03] Elena Sonnino: I think it took me many years to realize how my body was actually my ally.

[00:17:09] Elena Sonnino: You know, I had spent so long in this combative state with it from, you know, that moment after high school with my mom to then in my early twenties, when I was diagnosed with Hodgkin’s lymphoma and started not trusting, that was really I think the peak of distrust in my body or one of the peaks and, and then from there, what’s interesting is, you know, I had six months of chemotherapy and then went into remission, but it recurred, five months later, and in that recurrence, the doctors really, there were all sorts of complications that came up.

[00:17:46] Elena Sonnino: I needed an emergency surgery. There was a blood clot on, on and on, and my bone marrow cells were still healthy. And so, they had decided I needed a bone marrow transplant, but that it was gonna be autologous. And in 1990, that was a big deal. Transplants have come such a long way. My stem cells were still clean, and they literally gave me back my own cells to heal me.

[00:18:12] Elena Sonnino: And it took me Allyson years to make that connection of, oh my goodness, my body literally gave me what I needed and that was the moment that I realized, oh, maybe I could be in allyship with my body, right? Maybe I could see it as this beautiful and powerful and stronger than I even know vehicle for being in the world.

[00:18:41] Elena Sonnino: And then I started to notice other moments where that had been true. For instance, I was in early menopause after all of my treatments and wasn’t supposed to be able to have a child of my own and yet, you know, almost 18 years ago, I got pregnant. We were on the path. We were weeks away from me receiving a donor egg that we had chosen

[00:19:04] Elena Sonnino: and yet I found out I was pregnant, and I remember being devastated when I first found out because it wasn’t supposed to be able to happen. And even if it did it, it wasn’t supposed to be viable and the doctor said to me, this thing that I’ve just sort of forgotten, and he said, look, you can grieve, or you can celebrate until the day you can’t.

[00:19:26] Elena Sonnino: And I went, oh, okay. Option B, please. yeah, without even hesitating, I

[00:19:32] Elena Sonnino: knew option, right? But it’s, it’s that reminder. And so, for me, that has been, and it has continued, you know, since most recently I’ve had, because of everything I went through in my early twenties and being in menopause at such a young age, I’ve had incredible pain, pelvic pain and have been, you know, thinking that it was just, it was just one more thing that was broken.

[00:19:57] Elena Sonnino: And I was, it was either, you know, live with this for the rest of my life or go to all the lengths to fix it and I did, I’ve gotten to see doctors. I’ve been in pelvic for physical therapy, all of these things. And then I had a moment recently where I paused and I came back into my body and to me that has to be home based, but I had gotten so far away from it again.

[00:20:24] Elena Sonnino: And I asked myself, okay, so what would happen if I weren’t trying to fix me right now? And Allyson the most ridiculous whisper found its way to me, and it was belly dancing. And that seemed so strange of a whisper and yet it made perfect sense because belly dancing is the movement of the hips and the belly it’s that whole sacral chakra area,

[00:20:51] Elena Sonnino: right? And root where we find our home, our belonging and our expression and pleasure and creativity, right? All of these energy centers that live there, personal power, you know, moving up to solar plexus. And so, for me, then getting to explore that I am by no means a master belly dancer and you know, but it opened me back up to curiosity, which to me is the antidote of fixing and helps us start living.

[00:21:20] Allyson Scammell: That is a really powerful story. I love how you focus on the shift in the, the stop fixing the stop seeking outside of ourselves, outside of our own intuitive gifts. And then instead to go into listening and allowing and which it sounds like you, is exactly what you did as you transformed your relationship with your health and your body.

[00:21:46] Allyson Scammell: So, I think like listening where, I mean, I feel like it can be a challenge, especially when you’re in high stress, high anxiety. Right? You get really neck up in your head. Okay. But we know mm-hmm we, you know, you’ve already mentioned this. Take three breaths, go down to the body, tune into your intuitive centers,

[00:22:07] Allyson Scammell: listen, get that inner guidance. Okay. So that’s listening and I mean, obviously that could be a three-part series podcast right there, but what I find and my clients find, I believe cause this, this podcast does attract a pretty intuitive crowd. I think allowing. I think that’s the thing that can sometimes be more challenging because we do want the answer

[00:22:37] Allyson Scammell: now, we want the shift now. And if we are in fixing mode, of course we want the fix now, we want the solution. And that’s also a very masculine energy, you know, problem, solution, find the solution. It’s always like when I’m talking to my husband, I always have to remind him, I’m not looking for solutions. I just want your empathy

[00:22:57] Allyson Scammell: and I want you to be a compassionate witness to whatever I’m talking about. So, I literally remind him before I like launch into whatever. So, let’s spend some time with allowing like, okay, so let’s, go through maybe like a scenario, a scenario maybe with me and my I’m a nuisance. So, I’ve noticed that this thing that I thought was just a fun little thing term, an endearment, it actually has really affected me in a profound way my whole life.

[00:23:27] Allyson Scammell: And I was like, whoa. So, I don’t wanna go into a fixing mode cause I’ve been doing that for years. How, okay and I’m pretty sure I’m good at listening. So, I know I can think about my body and listen. And then how do I allow, what is, what does allowing look like in this example? Yeah.

[00:23:44] Elena Sonnino: Well, the first thing that comes to mind and see how this feels for you is allowing the awareness, right?

[00:23:52] Elena Sonnino: The, you had this moment of awareness of, oh my goodness. Right? I absorbed this term and I’ve been carrying it with me. So, offering yourself, the moment of kind of see the feel of it, the impact of it. Right? So, for the first step to me for allowing is an acknowledgement. Right? Is, oh, okay this too.

[00:24:21] Elena Sonnino: Right? And Kristen Neff, who is, you know, an author, researcher has done so much in the work of self-compassion. I love her practice of when you’re feeling something, I like to put my hands over my heart for it, but remind ourselves, of course, I feel this way. So that, to me, there’s an allowing of the feeling of the awareness, giving it a place to live without being afraid

[00:24:48] Elena Sonnino: we’re gonna get stuck there because if we’re really gonna allow something, we have to get permission to exist first. Yeah. What sticks out to you about

[00:24:59] Allyson Scammell: that? Well, I love what you’re saying about allowing the awareness. I feel like that was like the first phase I’m in right now. And it is, I’m just gonna reflect back to you.

[00:25:11] Allyson Scammell: Yes, it is so powerful and it’s really relieving. I think when you’re in real allowing and not fixing, it’s actually like, oh, that’s like, wow, that has been going on, holy $hit, you know, and seeing and acknowledging it, that’s relieving, it creates space in the body.

[00:25:30] Elena Sonnino: It does absolutely create space. Yeah.

[00:25:33] Elena Sonnino: Right? So, there’s and oftentimes allowing is almost putting a spotlight on something. Yeah, seeing what’s there almost like, you know, being at arche. I think of it, the vision that just came to me is like archeological dig, right. Someone’s going around with like a magnifying glass and just, and in the body, when I practice yin yoga, I always think about, okay, what happens if I move ever so slightly this way or that, right.

[00:25:57] Elena Sonnino: What’s here for me in that moment? So, the first piece is just allowing that awareness, really feeling into it and then getting curious about it, right? What is here for you in that awareness? What is here for you that you wanna bring forward? Not because it needs to be fixed, but because it’s coming from that inside place that says, so I’ve noticed this thing, I’m feeling this thing, and this is what feels important.

[00:26:26] Allyson Scammell: Mm. How does that land? Yes, I think I’m in that stage now. So, this is my homework, Elena. I’m gonna do some journaling, get curious, get my, you know, my magnifying glass and like what’s here? What’s going on? Love it.

[00:26:41] Elena Sonnino: Gonna say some of the questions that I love to ask myself in that space are, you know, what do I know for sure in this moment?

[00:26:48] Elena Sonnino: What is it that is asking to be paid attention to, to be tended to? So, one of the next steps then is to stay out of fixing is to really think about, okay, so this thing came up, these sensations, feeling this awareness, how might I tend to that? Right. And I like to think of tending in terms of how I tend to my plants.

[00:27:12] Elena Sonnino: Do they need a little bit more water? Do they need to be pruned? Do they need a little bit more sun, a little bit less sun because planted one window at different times of the year might need different amounts of light because of how the sun is gonna hit it in different seasons, right? And so, to me, it’s also an invitation to create space for the and which means that we get to feel all the feels and move forward.

[00:27:40] Elena Sonnino: Right. That one is not mutually exclusive into the other. Mm.

[00:27:44] Allyson Scammell: Yes. Yes and. So, we’re allowing the awareness. We’re curious, what is here? What do I know for sure? What wants to be tended to, you know, what wants to heal? What’s ready to heal? I feel like is here in this space. Yeah. And then it’s like the yes

[00:28:01] Allyson Scammell: and yes and. Yeah. Yes, absolutely.

[00:28:07] Elena Sonnino: And that’s where then we move into the living, the thriving, the aliveness, the, maybe even the joy, right? Because our aliveness is a full continuum of experiences, right? It’s not just the rainbows and unicorn. It’s also the moments of challenge, of sadness, of grief, of, of all of it.

[00:28:27] Elena Sonnino: And so how do we allow our hearts to be touched and stirred and bring forward the parts of us that matter most? Mm mm-hmm

[00:28:39] Allyson Scammell: beautiful. Yeah. yeah. And the other

[00:28:43] Elena Sonnino: thing that I would add, Allyson, the next thing is to also celebrate, right. I think one of the other antidotes to fixing so that we stay out of.

[00:28:55] Elena Sonnino: Right. So, you’re in this beautiful example of, you know, the awareness around this term nuisance and one tendency can be okay, we’re gonna bring all this awareness. We’re gonna get really curious. And then we still go to fixing mode and so one of the things that helps me, it’s really a daily practice for me

[00:29:15] Elena Sonnino: and for a lot of the clients that I work with is to be in that place of celebration, of noticing what is working and what is growing here for you in this moment. So, you know, you mentioned that this term was, was one of endearment. And so there might even be a space to notice. Okay. How was it a term of endearment, right? In that, with that lens, what is it?

[00:29:43] Elena Sonnino: Shed the spotlight. What does it put the spotlight on in terms of what was growing in your relationship with your dad? Oh yeah. Instance. That’s

[00:29:51] Allyson Scammell: such a good point, great. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, because I think it is, my dad and I are a story of celebration for sure, because I was a big energy kid and I was hard to parent when I was little, like my daughter is, so now empathy is here.

[00:30:08] Allyson Scammell: And then when I was like an adolescence, even into early twenties, my dad and I had like a really rocky relationship and then sometime in early to mid-twenties that really transformed and now we’re like best buddies. And we have a really cool, loving, supportive. My dad is so emotionally supportive of me.

[00:30:30] Allyson Scammell: Like I think about after my near-death experience, he said the thing that put me back on track and he, and it was a, it was something you wouldn’t expect a dad to say. And he’s the one that got me living again after my NDE. And when he calls me nuisance now, sorry, I didn’t mean to get so emotional on this. It really, it, it, I just take it as love, you know, like today as a 46-year-old, I do think I have some healing to do when I go back to like my five-year-old self, my six-year-old self, I think it’s hurtful in that context and what I took it to mean, but I think there’s definitely a yes

[00:31:08] Allyson Scammell: and here, there are two stories here and the, the word both is a wound, and it is a celebration at the same time. Exactly as you’re saying, sorry, I didn’t mean to get so emotional.

[00:31:22] Elena Sonnino: Oh no, I’m grateful. Thank you for, for being so courageous to share that emotion and story, Allyson, truly that’s the power, right?

[00:31:33] Elena Sonnino: I think you just kind of exemplified the power of this exploration to allow ourselves to notice, where are we in fixing mode and what would it be like to let that go for even a minute? yeah. And at least it’s like, you know,

[00:31:52] Elena Sonnino: it’s, it’s not the flip of a switch, but it’s that the beginning of that exploration and you are so in it, just with who you are and the work that you do.

[00:32:02] Elena Sonnino: You know, me, these little moments find us sometimes.

[00:32:05] Allyson Scammell: Yeah. Well, thank you for holding the space for me and sharing this wisdom to allow me to go there. I just, I felt called to share this and I thought there’s listeners out there that’s gonna somehow relate both to your stories and this story. I’d love to know Elena about you.

[00:32:24] Allyson Scammell: You talk about a soft place and how we can become our own soft place to land by focusing on self-compassion practices. Can you tell us what a soft place is and share with us a practice or two for self-compassion? Yeah,

[00:32:41] Elena Sonnino: absolutely. So, to me being your own soft place to land is that space of becoming just your own, you know, best friend, but really it, it goes back to that allowing, of creating space for you to be who you are in any given moment

[00:33:01] Elena Sonnino: and I think of it as an honorary really of who you are, of what you are. And one of my favorite practices, and it really encompasses so many moments and I use it I don’t know how many times a day, if I’m being honest, I definitely start by day with it. I happen. I find myself in it during the, at my desk in the evening.

[00:33:26] Elena Sonnino: But is a breath, two breaths, an inhale and an exhale, but on the inhale, I whisper thank you to myself and on the exhale, I whisper I love you to myself. And sometimes I’ll even bring my, my arms into this and I’ll open up on my arms on a thank you on the inhale. And then I’ll kind of hug myself on the exhale and the I love you.

[00:33:52] Elena Sonnino: So, there’s just this recognition that we are our own home base. We, we are human being, right? So, we crave connection and community, and there is nothing like being connected and being in community and to allow ourselves to belong, to allow ourselves to be this thriving, to embody this thriving version of ourselves as living version.

[00:34:20] Elena Sonnino: We have to find home within ourselves first and so that’s really the soft place to land. So that, that thank you, I love you, is one of my favorite practices.

[00:34:30] Allyson Scammell: That’s beautiful. I love the simplicity of it. I did it with you as you were saying it, and I just felt an immediate, yeah, at peace, so good. Oh, this has just been such a treat and, you know, I got some free coaching in it that I didn’t anticipate,

[00:34:47] Allyson Scammell: I promise I didn’t know that was gonna happen. So, thank you so much on a personal level. And I just feel like our listeners are gonna receive so much from your wisdom. I’m gonna ask you in just a second, how people can get ahold of you, learn more about you. But I’d love you to leave our listeners before I get to that question, leave our listeners with an invitation, and that’s an invitation to be someone, do something, anywhere you’d love to invite them to go.

[00:35:16] Elena Sonnino: So many things just came into my heart with that nudge.

[00:35:20] Allyson Scammell: Yeah. Good, good.

[00:35:22] Elena Sonnino: The invitation that I would offer is a practice is an exploration and it’s this question of, and it’s a question that I ask myself, it’s a beautiful practice and it helps us stay out of, or continue to tend to our fixing mode tendencies but it’s this, what would feel delicious today?

[00:35:46] Elena Sonnino: So, starting the day or in the middle of the day to just take a moment and maybe take three breaths and ask yourself, what would feel delicious today or in this moment? And the answer might or might not be chocolate. When I first asked myself this question, The answer was my wearing my great-grandmother’s pearls, which was totally random, but actually ended up having so much symbolism for me.

[00:36:14] Elena Sonnino: So that’s the first invitation. The second invitation is if this conversation resonated and you want to fill yourself up with nourishment from within, I have a beautiful 10-minute practice. It’s a little mini-Yin yoga practice that I would love for people to play with. It’s free and I can share the link with you and put it in the show notes.

[00:36:37] Elena Sonnino: And it’s just getting into your body and filling yourself with, that which nourishes you, which is absolutely one of the keys to staying out of fixing and continuing to be in this place of moving

[00:36:52] Allyson Scammell: and thriving. Elena those are brilliant invitations Love them. What would be delicious for me today? I’m gonna ask myself that question

[00:37:01] Allyson Scammell: as soon as we wrap up. And we will absolutely leave a link in the show notes for people to get their hands on that exercise. That sounds amazing. I love Yin yoga and tell us how, how else can our listeners learn more and connect, learn more about and connect

[00:37:19] Elena Sonnino: to you? Yeah, absolutely. So, my website Elenasonnino.com is a great place to start.

[00:37:25] Elena Sonnino: And on that website, you can actually also find the second thing that I think is a great way to learn more about me. My new book, inhabit your joy, a book of nudges, which is just a collection of literal nudges. Some of we talked about today to help us move out of fixing and out of survival mode and into this joy that we get to inhabit.

[00:37:47] Elena Sonnino: And if you’re on social, Instagram is one of my favorite places and you can find me there.

[00:37:51] Allyson Scammell: Fantastic. All those links will be in the show notes, including a link to get your hands on Elena’s amazing book. And I can’t thank you enough for sharing your wisdom with us today on soul guide radio. Thank you,

[00:38:06] Elena Sonnino: Allyson and thank you for sharing your experience and your process as we went along.

[00:38:10] Elena Sonnino: I really am grateful for that that happened.

[00:38:14] Allyson Scammell: Aw, thank you.

[00:38:24] Allyson Scammell: And I wanna thank you so much, dear your listener for tuning in and being part of this energy. If you’re feeling so called to leave a rating and review, we would be so grateful. Let us know what have you received from this particular episode or any of the episodes of soul guide radio? And I will read your review, live on the air.

[00:38:49] Allyson Scammell: And as always until next time, may your soul guide the way. Are you ready to fill your business with soul clients in the next 60 days, then download my free energy, upgrade meditation to amp up your energy frequency, dissolve the doubt and attract the soul clients you are destined to serve. Find a link to download on my website, allysonscammell.com as well as in the show notes.