Why You Can’t Force Fun (and What to Do Instead)

[00:00:00] Hey, dear ones. What is happening on this fine day? I’m so happy to be here, connecting to you. Thank you for tuning in, from my heart. And maybe you caught last week’s episode. It was my first time on soul guide radio, where I channeled most of the episode content from source and we explored fun and play. And this is really a part two episode from that as we continue to explore fun and play.

[00:00:31] So if you haven’t had a chance to check that out episode number 43, I invite you to pause here. Go have a listen to that. It’s got some really deep, just helpful, insightful insights from source on this energetic frequency of fun and play. Why it’s important. Why source is really inviting us to prioritize it

[00:00:55] instead of putting it on the back burner, we’re putting it on the front burner, on the top of the priority list and how we can infuse the energetic frequency and the state of being of fun and play into all of the activities we approach in life and business. And that is really a paradigm shifter, I think for many of us and the thing I keep learning over and over and over again about fun and play

[00:01:23] is that when you prioritize it, when you put it at the top of your agenda, when you infuse that energy into everyday routine activities, results arrive into your experience. I see it over and over. It has a direct link to my ability, for example, to attract perfect soul clients. When I’m grinding, when I’m hustling, when I’m saying the work has to come first, clients come at that same frequency. Clients do arrive eventually

[00:02:03] after a hustle and a grind. And when I’m in that frequency of fun and play the clients arrive in a way that feels like fun and play. So, our outer world is always reflecting our inner world. So how can we shift our inner world to be that of fun and play? And this brings me to the most important message of this episode and that is, we can’t force it. Fun

[00:02:35] can’t be forced. This is a huge message that came to me, and it really hit me hard from source that you just can’t force fun, but there’s good news here. There is something super powerful we could do instead that enables us to lift that forcing feeling so we can actually tap into the fun and play. So, let’s get right to it.

[00:02:59] In today’s episode, I explain why fun cannot be forced. I reveal the number one thought system that prevents us from having fun and how to release that thought system and others so you can consistently tap into the fun and play that you’re wired to be experiencing. We’ll end on an invitation that will have you reveling in fun and play in a way that actually leads to the results and success that you wish to experience in your life.

[00:03:29] So you’re gonna want to stay with me until the end. Welcome to soul guide radio, a podcast for soul guided leaders, influencers, and entrepreneurs here to bring about change on a massive level. We’ll explore how you can activate your big soul mission, amplify your spiritual gifts, and clear the energy blocks weighing you down so you can gain unstoppable momentum in life and business.

[00:03:59] I’m Allyson Scammell your host and soul guide.

[00:04:07] Well, Hey there, soul guide circle. That is the name of this community of soul guided leaders, influencers, and entrepreneurs. In the soul guide circle, we have big soul missions, and we yearn to earn more, serve more and grow spiritually along the way. If you aren’t already a member, then I invite you to join our Facebook group of over 1800 leaders and Lightworkers who are in service to each other

[00:04:31] and the planet. Find the link to join on my website, Allysonscammell.com as well as in the show notes. Now, before we dive deep into the topic of why you can’t force fun, I want to read a super special listener review that really touched me. It comes from PriceAnd, I happen to know this PriceAnd, she’s an amazing empowerment coach and energy healer for moms.

[00:05:03] She’s my dear friend, Andrea Andree. And this is what she had to say. I am a regular listener of Allyson’s podcast. I am starting a spiritual coaching business, and I love how she beautifully blends using intuition with traditional business strategies. Yes, you know me. I feel like I’ve been given a shortcut to avoid some of the obstacles, many new coaches face.

[00:05:28] Oh my gosh, Andrea, that is exactly what I intend this podcast to be. So, I’m so happy and grateful you’re receiving that. And if you want to learn more about Andrea and her work, I invite you to check her out at AndreaAndree.com and we will include a link in the show notes. And if you’re receiving from this podcast and loving the content and connecting to it, I invite you from my heart to leave us a review.

[00:05:57] There’s a link in the show notes about the various places you can leave reviews. And I will be so happy and delighted to read your review on the air. Alrighty. Let’s get into why we cannot force fun. I think you’ve probably experienced this at least one time in your life. Maybe you planned a trip and you’re like, all right, this is going to be my time to get away.

[00:06:28] I’m going to book at this great hotel. I’m going to have all this stuff, fun stuff planned. I’m going to go to this amazing space with people I love. And I’m gonna have fun. Can’t wait to just get this work done, going to get this work off my plate and I’m going to hop on that airplane. I’m going to fly to that place and it’s going to be fun, big fun.

[00:06:50] And then you get there. You’re sitting on the beach; you got a coconut drink. You’re drinking right out of a coconut with a straw, and you feel anxious or agitated, or you just feel like being plugged into your phone. And maybe I just need to check a few emails, or I don’t know. I’m, you just feel a little restless.

[00:07:14] Does that ever happen? Well, there’s a good reason. There’s a darn good reason. And I will share that this happened to me recently. Well, you know, to back up a little bit, we flew, my husband and my daughter, and I flew to the US you know, we live in the Netherlands and our family is in America. So, we flew to the states over Christmas, and it just was with Coronavirus in full swing at that time.

[00:07:40] It was a really challenging trip and it was just kind of obstacle after obstacle and not to go in all the details. It just was not a fun trip, and it was nobody’s fault. It just happened. And you know, what can you do? So, we got home, and we thought, you know what? We need to book a reset. We need to go to another, book another vacation to make up for that vacation that had so many obstacles because of, you know, basically because of the pandemic.

[00:08:10] And at that point, you know, the pandemic restrictions were starting to ease. Society was starting to open up a little bit and we thought, oh, okay, let’s do this. Let’s plan a fun trip. So, we decided to book to Spain and we decided to stay at a nicer hotel than maybe we would have, you know, before, and we were going to go to these amazing places.

[00:08:33] And there was places that my husband wanted to go to and there was places I wanted to go to and we’re going to eat this food. And I love Spain and I speak Spanish. So, I was so excited to like, get my Spanish going again and eat, eat all the great Spanish dishes that I love. And when we got there, I felt all the things that I had mentioned earlier.

[00:08:54] I felt restless. I felt like I was just going through the motions. Alright, what are we going to do this morning? What are we going to do this afternoon? Like, what are we going to do? It felt like a bit of a chore to plan the days, like the days needed to be fun. Let’s plan a fun day. And boy, does this feel like a chore?

[00:09:15] I also really felt like working. Like I wanted to be working, doing some stuff for work. So, I actually spent a fair amount of time working and my husband was annoyed at me. He’s like, I thought you were going to leave the laptop at home. I didn’t. So, it wasn’t a fun trip. It wasn’t a make-up for the Christmas trip

[00:09:38] that didn’t go well, it was okay. There were moments of fun. There was moments of ease, but it wasn’t as much fun and ease as I wanted. So why? It gets to the heart of why we can’t force fun. If we have a block caused by a trauma or a belief system present that block will cut us off from tapping into the energy of fun and play that block will tell you, you should be doing something other than having fun.

[00:10:20] And when you have a block telling you either consciously or very often, it’s subconsciously, it’s a subconscious needling that you should be doing something other than experiencing joy, pleasure, fun. You will not be able to fully immerse yourself in the feelings of joy, pleasure, fun. The block will be blocking.

[00:10:50] Therefore it’s impossible to force it. And if you try, which I’ve tried many times in my life, you’re left with a forcing feeling. You’re left with something that’s energetically, low vibrational. That is not that expansive, juicy energy of fun and play. It is a feeling of pressure, restlessness, force. In many ways that forcing feeling is really a contrast.

[00:11:17] It’s the opposite side of fun and play. And I’m going to tell you in a sec what to do instead, but before I do, I want to go into the number one thought system that prevents us from having some fun. And it comes directly from the collective. It comes directly from our social conditioning. Our parents had it, their parents had it, their parents had it.

[00:11:43] So we have generational wounds around this. We’ve got past lifetime trauma from it. We get clobbered from the collective from it on the daily, and we know it. It’s not going to surprise you. This isn’t, this thought I’m going to reveal will not surprise you, but I have a hunch this thought affects you on the daily

[00:12:03] the way it affects me. And that thought is some form of you should be working. You should be working. You shouldn’t be playing. Shouldn’t be laying in the sun. You shouldn’t be, you know, going to that fun dance class, having a coffee with your girlfriends, you should be working. And working can be a lot of things.

[00:12:30] Working can be working on your business, you know, working at your day job. It can be working on your house. It can be working with your kids, right? So, like being with your kids, working to make sure they’re having fun, you know, their needs are being met. So, you should be working. You shouldn’t be focusing on your fun, your play, your pleasure,

[00:12:55] your amusement, you should be doing something else. And when that thought is present and feels true, at least some of the time, it doesn’t have to feel true all the time. I suspect maybe when you hear that thought, I should be working you have moments when you’re like, that’s not true. I’d throw that thought out the window with joy and ease because I should be having fun.

[00:13:20] I should be engaging in pleasure. I know I deserve it, but then the thought boomerangs back and it comes right back, and it pops up. Maybe it pops up consciously in your conscious awareness and maybe and I think often it pops up into our subconscious and it wiggles its way back to you because remember this thought is all around us.

[00:13:47] Your neighbors have it, your parents have it. The community has it. Society has it. The collective has it. So, we’re being, we’re being pummeled with this thought from all angles at all times, your spouse probably has it. You should be working. So, then it’ll come back. And even if we’re feeling it’s not true in a conscious level, on a subconscious level, it feels really fricking true.

[00:14:14] And if at any part of our consciousness, the thought feels true. It’s going to take us away from truly tapping into those feelings of fun and play. Go back to Spain with me. I believe that it was subconscious. I believe because I had done the work. I knew I had organized my business in way that I got a bunch of work done before I went, I had prepared to enable myself to have this trip, experience, fun and play.

[00:14:47] But I think that when I got there, I wasn’t mindful. I wasn’t asking the important questions, which I’m going to reveal in a minute. I wasn’t doing the thing we should do instead, which I’m going to reveal in a minute. And I was just allowing my subconscious thoughts coming from my own wounds and from the collective to you know, it wasn’t like I had a bad experience, but I allowed it to take away from my experience, it allowed me to have that restlessness.

[00:15:18] That here I am lying in the sun, lying by a pool with the people I love, feeling beautiful sunshine on my face after, you know, coming from Holland where it was cold and wet and rainy. I was down in Spain. It was clear blue and 22 degrees Celsius. What is that in Fahrenheit? I think it’s like in the late seventies Fahrenheit.

[00:15:40] It’s beautiful weather. Just a cool breeze on my face. And I had this restlessness inside of me and the restlessness was saying, Allyson, you should be working. And so, it didn’t take all my fun away, but it took a lot of my fun away and I allowed it to, because I think on a certain level, I was trying to force fun.

[00:16:08] We were trying to make up from a previous trip that was uncomfortable. We plan this great. We went to this great place in the world, this great hotel, at great time of year. Like how could you not have fun right? Well, it’s possible because I had the thought telling me, telling me, subconsciously, you should be working.

[00:16:31] And I’ll say here, this thought this belief system you should be working, comes to us in a lot of different forms. So maybe arrives to you in different variations. But I really invite you to notice through your day, through your week when a variation of this thought arrives to you. And I believe this thought has been so ingrained with us for so long that we don’t really know what fun and play feels like.

[00:17:01] Oftentimes we don’t even really know the activities that lead to the truest form of fun, play pleasure, recreation, joy, amusement for us because we’ve spent so long trapped in the cage of you should be working. That we haven’t even given ourselves full permission to explore what does true fun and play even look like for me.

[00:17:33] So let’s free ourselves from the cage that prevents us from truly tapping into the energy of fun and play. So instead of forcing fun, what do we do instead? What is the key that will spring us and free us from our cages? I say this to you, dear one, from my heart, instead of forcing fun, what we do instead is we heal.

[00:18:02] We heal from these wounds. We heal from what our parents told us. We heal from what our bosses told us. We heal from what the collective tells us or our partners. They need to heal too. We can’t force their healing, unfortunately. So, we focus on our own healing and explore what thoughts you’re telling yourself.

[00:18:29] What is the thought that you tell yourself that takes away your ability to give yourself permission, to have fun and play? I have a hunch it’s going to be some variation of you should be working or simply you should be doing something else other than fun and play. And the companion thought to you should be working, which is equally blocking if you will, is in the category of self-worth.

[00:19:06] So some form of you don’t deserve it. And I feel like these two thoughts go hand in hand, you should be working. You don’t deserve fun and play. And so, it’s exploring if those thoughts ever feel true and they likely don’t feel true all the time, but even if they feel true, 1% of the time it’s going to take away your ability to truly immerse yourself

[00:19:35] in the state of being a fun and play. So, it’s about releasing the blocks and it’s a journey. This is not a one and done. This is a daily, a weekly check-in to explore what are the thoughts that are taking me away from my ability to have fun and play because we are now in a time where the energetic frequency and being in that frequency is important and source is calling on us to prioritize it.

[00:20:10] So this is no longer, well, when I have time and when, and the work is done, I will get to this. I will get to my healing around this. No, no, no, no source is telling me that this is the thing to be prioritized now. Our ability to really be on planet earth and experience planet earth as a playground. It is meant to be a lot of things to us, our school, the thing that we give back to and that we help repair and it’s really designed to be our playground and for so long

[00:20:45] so many of us have been trapped in the cage of, I should be working that has closed the door to the playground of mother earth. So, this is how you heal. It’s my five-step process for healing that I’ve shared with you before, but let’s go through it in the context of fun and play. So, step one is noticing when there is a painful or uncomfortable or resisting feeling present.

[00:21:20] So you’re trying to have fun, but instead you feel restless. So, you notice the emotion, the emotion is your compass, guiding you to the fact that there is a block, but I really encourage you not to be like, well, when I noticed the emotion, then I’ll do this work. What’s better, I mean, yes do that. Definitely do that when you notice the emotion, but what’s even more powerful than that is to have this part of a practice.

[00:21:54] Incorporate this as part of your daily spiritual routine. And you start by asking the question, is there a painful emotion inside of me that’s ready to be released? So maybe you notice when you ask that question, this restless feeling starts to emerge, and then you go to step two and you ask the question, what is the thought

[00:22:21] that is triggering this painful or resisting emotion? So, let’s imagine that the thought you receive is some form, some variation of I should be working and/or I don’t deserve fun and play. I don’t deserve pleasure. And here you’re looking for the thoughts that feel true at least part of the time. You’re not looking for thoughts that feel true 100% of the time, because most of our thoughts in particular, most of our painful thoughts don’t feel true a hundred percent of the time, but they do feel true part of the time.

[00:22:59] And that’s what you’re looking for. So at least part of the time, what thoughts feel true that trigger these painful emotions? Step three is where you give yourself permission to fully and completely feel the painful or resisting emotions that your painful thoughts are triggering. So, in this case, I should be working when that thought feels true inside of me, that triggers exhaustion, depression, sadness, defeat, maybe a little resentment.

[00:23:34] So I just give myself permission to feel those feels for 60 to 90 seconds, pull them up from deep inside of you. And when the intensity of the emotion is just starting to go down, then you want to go to step four, which is just noticing if there’s any chords to be cut. These are the cords to our wounds. By cutting these cords

[00:24:03] we’re telling the wound we’re ready to release it. And even if you’re not sure, imagine there’s a cord there, an energetic cord however, it appears to you in your mind’s eye, just produce a sharp object in your mind’s eye and cut the cords. Then step five, you go to your breath, deep inhales, deep exhales. You go to your heart space, and you ask your higher self for a message of truth.

[00:24:34] And the truth is fun, and play is a state of being. It’s an energetic frequency we are wired to be experiencing not just once a week or even once a day, but throughout our day throughout our experience, earth is here to be our playground and earth is inviting us to go play. So, my invitation for you this week is to

[00:25:04] spend some time looking within to see and to ask what are the thought systems that are cutting me off from my ability to fully and completely feel fun and play. And then I invite you to go through the five-step process to release those energy blocks so you can start experiencing and fully, fully experiencing

[00:25:33] not at 60%, not at 80%, but 100% fully immersed and reveling in the energetic frequency of fun and play. And you can also go back to last week’s episode, episode number 43, to get the invitation from Source that will help you to incorporate fun and play into your everyday routine. So, your thoughts come to you from a place of truth and love and lightness and ease that I should be having fun.

[00:26:15] Alright, my dear ones, that’s all I have for you this week. If you’re loving this episode, I invite you to give us a rating and review. I will read your review on the air. Feel free to put a website in the comments. And I will read your website out loud on the air. And I am so grateful for you to you in advance for giving us some love.

[00:26:41] And as always until next time, may your soul guide the way.

[00:26:51] Hey, did you know that you have a spiritual genius inside of you? And that genius consists of five primary spiritual gifts that when unlocked to their fullest potential you’re able to use those gifts to serve your clients more deeply, manifest more powerfully and live life more joyfully. Join me for a five-week course, starting in June to unlock your spiritual genius.

[00:27:20] I’m also calling this course your five weeks to enlightenment and in five weeks, you’ll have more clarity about your spiritual gifts, you’ll received advanced spiritual training to activate those gifts to their fullest and integrate them into your life and business so you can experience more income, more connection, and more flow.

[00:27:42] I’ve never taught these advanced spiritual tools before, and I’m offering this course at a beta price and there’s even an early sign-up bonus. So, I invite you to head on over to Allysonscammell.com. Forward slash spiritual dash genius. Again, that’s Allyson scammell.com forward slash spiritual dash genius.

[00:28:05] And you can also find that link in the show notes, and I really hope to have your amazing and magical energy part of this extraordinary experience.