Unleashing Your Ability to Own Your Worth with Ashley Paré

[00:00:00] Well, hello, dear ones. This is the first episode I’m recording in 2022. And we are off to an amazing start talking about a super important topic. Maybe you’ve heard about other podcast episodes, other resources out there about building confidence about owning your worth. But I promise you this one is different, and this episode is going to go deeper.

[00:00:27] And this episode is really going to help you unleash your ability to own your worth. And when that happens, you can really start to tap into the excitement, joy, and wonder of being a soul guided entrepreneur who’s here to influence on a massive level. And I had the absolute pleasure of unpacking this super important topic with the amazing Ashley Paré

[00:00:56] and Ashley’s a true expert on this topic. She helps women in corporate to do high-level negotiations. And she really is in the business of helping women own their worth energetically and as well as finding the right words and the right ways that we can communicate to others and ask for our true worth.

[00:01:20] So I had an absolute ball chatting with Ashley on this topic. So, in today’s episode, Ashley reveals why we tend, especially as women to give away our power. How we can start owning our worth and the value we create in the world and how we can be confident when talking about money and how that will translate into more money and income for you.

[00:01:50] We’ll end on an invitation that will have you showing up fully, tapped into the excitement, joy, and wonder that we feel when we own our worth in the world. So please stay with us until the end. Welcome to soul guide radio, a podcast for soul guided leaders, influencers, and entrepreneurs here to bring about change on a massive level.

[00:02:17] We’ll explore how you can activate your big soul mission, amplify your spiritual gifts, and clear the energy blocks weighing you down so you can gain unstoppable momentum in life and business. I’m Allyson Scammell your host and soul guide.

[00:02:41] Hey, their soul guide circle. That is the name of this community of soul guided leaders, influencers, and entrepreneurs. In the soul guide circle, we have big soul missions, and we yearn to earn more, serve more, and grow spiritually along the way. If you aren’t already a member, then I invite you to join our Facebook group of over 1500 leaders and Lightworkers who are in service to each other

[00:03:05] and the planet. Find a link to join on my website allysonscammell.com or in the show notes. Today, I speak with the amazing Ashley Paré about how to unleash our ability to own our worth. Ashley Paré is the CEO and founder of Own Your Worth an organization bridging the gap between employers and employees.

[00:03:31] As a leadership and negotiation coach Ashley gives clients the tools to own their worth and negotiate for what they want without fear of negative consequences. Ashley is a TEDx speaker with more than a decade of corporate experience in global human resources. She’s been featured in the New York Times, Glamour, CNN Money,

[00:03:52] Good Morning America, and more, this episode was a real joy for me to record. And may you receive as much from Ashley’s wisdom as I did.

[00:04:12] Welcome Ashley to soul guide radio. So thrilled that you’re here. Hello. Hello, Allyson thank you for having me. I love this topic. We’re really talking about confidence and owning your worth. And I’d like to, I would just love to get into this a little bit, because I feel like people are talking about confidence and our listeners are probably have listened to stuff about like boosting confidence, but I want to like dig deep on this and really get into it because

[00:04:40] I really feel like when I reflect back on my own journey, if I could say like one of the things that really shifted me into the energy of really making consistent income and growing my business, it’s when I started to own my worth and own the value I’m creating in the world. So, let’s go there. Ashley, and you are the person to talk to us about this.

[00:05:01] You are an expert, so you actually did a Ted talk, a TEDx talk, and I love the title of it. How to have your cake and negotiate too. So why do think that we, and I’m going to say we, but I think especially we women, if I can say that, why do we hesitate to ask for our cake? Or why, why do we feel like we should, if we ask for a cake, we can’t ask for a pie too, or we can’t ask to eat it too?

[00:05:23] Ah, yes, this is such a big, deep topic. And I think, you know, if we look back in our life, there’s either I call many small cuts over time, or maybe one big wound that at some point, most of us learned that asking for what we need or even desiring or having needs was either a burden or was met with some sort of negative consequence or this fear that we may lose something that we really need.

[00:05:52] So I think ultimately if we’re not fully owning our worth, our inherent worth, this fear that if we desire what we desire, we want to have it all. And we’re going to ask for it, like the hesitation sounds like, well, what if this doesn’t work out? What if this fails? What if I lose love or acceptance or opportunity or safety? At the deepest level asking for our needs to be met is part of our human experience.

[00:06:19] And if we’ve had any negative experience where we felt our personal needs were not going to be met, many of us have learned to not need or not desire or not ask or stay small. And I think as we enter into our corporate or business world with our careers that translates over to asking for either money or opportunity.

[00:06:42] And again, as women giving our power away is a way that we’ve learned often from society to stay safe and avoid conflict. Hmm. Yeah. That’s super powerful. That’s super powerful. Yeah. I feel like that’s just really deep. We reached a point in time where our needs weren’t met and it’s been a conclusion that I think given to us by society, given to us by social conditioning, that the problem was you were needing too much.

[00:07:12] Is that, is that what I think a lot of like, that’s what we’re told the issue came down to, you needed to much. Yes. So, you needed too much, or it wasn’t reasonable, or it was a problem or it was, it’s kind of when we learn to consider others’ needs before our own. Aha. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That asking for what we need, because what if someone else needed something else or what if they view it as, you know, we’re being greedy or too needy or wanting to have our cake and eat it too.

[00:07:40] And that comes with a whole set of assumptions or again, societal prejudices sometimes. Yeah. So, I’d love to know you’ve been on this journey for a while now, Ashley helping women to be bold and take big, bold action. I would love to know what has surprised you the most as you’ve worked with various clients and women on owning their worth.

[00:08:02] There’s so many amazing stories. And I think one of the biggest surprises is that a lot of women come to me feeling stuck and feeling like, you know, I don’t know what’s wrong, or I don’t know what I truly desire or what my big dream is. I don’t have one of those. Like it’s, they’re really feeling the stuckness and fear.

[00:08:22] And I feel like in really quickly in a couple of sessions, just reconnecting them, giving them the ability to see how they haven’t been owning their worth, like really quickly they’re able to connect with these big, bold desires. And they’re able to become unstuck and take sometimes big, sometimes small action, but it’s like, everyone has this deep desire and dream.

[00:08:45] And so the surprise is that like how quickly women can get back there when I work with them. And they’re like, you know what I just I’ve avoided that, or I forgotten about it, or I haven’t spent any time thinking about it, but they’re, they’re easily able to come back to this place. And that’s what just keeps me so motivated in this work, because I believe everyone has this

[00:09:03] you know, soul purpose or soul mission or deep desire and way that they can create impact. And we can get back there very quickly if we allow ourselves if we give ourselves permission. And for me, it’s so beautiful because all I want is for people to feel their inherent worthiness. And, and it doesn’t mean the path is going to be super easy and rainbows and butterflies, but the big surprise is how bold

[00:09:26] with people and clients are willing to be when they give themselves permission just to reconnect with that dream. That’s beautiful. And ultimately, you’ve noticed that that connection usually comes not that the path is easy, but that connection to their bold dreams and desires comes with relative ease.

[00:09:43] Yes. Yeah. And then the path just becomes cleared. It’s it’s like, oh, okay, I know what next step to take. I’m actually not stuck. I know where I need to be. And I know, you know, what’s not serving me or what I can try next. It’s beautiful. And sometimes frustrating because we’re like, oh, why didn’t I do this sooner? And that’s where it’s like, you know what

[00:10:04] we’re all in this learning lesson and journey and you’re where you’re meant to be. So, giving ourselves a lot of grace there. Yeah, totally. I would also be curious to know in your work about, you know, kind of generally helping people build their confidence, helping people own the value they create in the world.

[00:10:21] What do you notice is a big misperception we have about it or misunderstanding we might have about how to own our worth? I think worth and value and impact, so much of this is tied into money and our society. And again, we look to, we attach what we do to who we are, right? I mean, I was there. I was very attached to earning as much as I could, climbing the corporate ladder, trying to quote unquote, take care of myself and being 

[00:10:50] Miss independent. So that way I didn’t need anything. And I think those were the things that I thought I was supposed to do to feel secure and to have success. And I didn’t realize how much I was giving my power away. And I think the misconception is money is just a by-product, like joy is a by-product, success on our own terms is a byproduct of owning our inherent worthiness, which is really about loving ourselves wholeheartedly, knowing that we don’t have to prove ourselves and that we are deserving and

[00:11:21] all of the things, right? Just we don’t have to fight for them. They come to us, we attract them as we say, right? That are, I guess the misconception is that like our outside world is directly connected to our inside world. And there’s a misconception there, we think fighting for what we want on the outside will make us feel better on the inside.

[00:11:40] But it’s reverse. Yeah. Or like once the money comes, then I’ll own my worth because that’s proof. That’s proof that I can, I can make a lot of money and I definitely, I have a similar path, you know, I really related to your, what you shared of your journey. I used to work in government. I spent 17 years working in international humanitarian response and my, I mean, I drive my whole identity for my job title.

[00:12:11] And when I left that work and was kind of title less for a while, I really felt like I didn’t have an identity. It was like, it was a real moment in time where I’m like, I need to figure out who I am beyond my title, and I need to own that person beyond my title. So then kicking off the entrepreneurial journey, which you’ve also done.

[00:12:32] That you know, comes with its own sets of blocks and limiting beliefs you got to work through. And like just what I said earlier, just to repeat it, the money didn’t come and then I started to own my worth and my confidence, the owning the worth came first, then the real money came, you know, the real income and the business started to flow in with relative joy and ease.

[00:12:53] Yes. And I mean, confidence for me is about tapping into that place within our ourselves. Right? That we just know we are capable. We know that no matter what happens, if we can let go of the attachment to any particular outcome that we are capable, we are resilient and we are worthy. And so, confidence is really built and we have to choose it.

[00:13:14] We have to choose how we want to show up, right? In a difficult conversation at work with our clients. And if they’re, if we’re not feeling confident for me, it’s a sign there’s something there. So, what is it right? Can we sit with it and inquire and be curious about any fear or doubt or shame that might be there and are again the people who kind of quote unquote fake it till they make it, you know, that’s one path, but I would ask, you know, are they really

[00:13:44] believing in themselves? Are you just good at faking it? Really? What as confidence, you know, for me, it’s about coming from within first and yes, as you said, all of that then translates to what we’re able to receive and attract on the outside world from money to love, to all of the other things. Yeah.

[00:14:01] That’s a good, it’s a good concept to look at that. Fake it till you make it. I think that there are people out there that have done it and they’ve done it successfully. But my question is, I wonder if the journey was joyful. I mean, that has got to be kind of exhausting, right? The alternative is owning your worth and owning your value is very energizing.

[00:14:21] It fills your tank, you know, and the other route to me feels like a struggle. It feels like a hustle. It feels like a strain, which is not sustainable, right? Yes. I tried both. Yes. Oh yeah, totally, totally. And I think we’ve all been when we’re trying to figure out who we are. I don’t necessarily would say we’re faking it till we’re making it, but we’re trying on, we’ve all been to that place

[00:14:44] we’ve tried on something that wasn’t fitting, right? This isn’t working. And so I think that’s part of the process and that’s, you know, maybe a nice little indicator there, if you kind of feel like you’re out of alignment to being able to own your worth is looking into like, am I owning the right thing, right?

[00:15:01] Am I offering the right thing to my, to my clients? And maybe there’s some adjustments that need to be made there to help you get into that energy of owning that worth. And we’re going to be talking about that in just a second, like getting into how we can tap into that energy. But before that, I would like to talk about attracting clients

[00:15:18] and that process of okay, owning the worth and then it attracts clients. But I think beyond that, it attracts the right clients, right? Because you’re in that energetic frequency of who you are, your gifts, what you offer, how you transform people’s lives and that really brings in the right clients. So, I guess I would, I would love your perspective in terms of like, when we’re not in the energy of owning our worth, how does this actually

[00:15:47] not only prevent us from attracting clients but prevents us from attracting the right clients. Yeah. So, I think the, if we stick with this misalignment of energy, if we’re not being fully who we are, or in alignment with who we are, and if we’re trying to serve other people first or give people what we think they want.

[00:16:05] And so there’s this disconnection then. Again, we’re chasing after something that ultimately won’t fill us up that will end up draining us. And when we work with our clients, they become, if they’re not the ideal client, right they become this mirror to reflect back to us like what isn’t working and there’ll be a struggle either

[00:16:24] we won’t attract anyone, or they end up being our biggest teachers and learners around like fighting us. Right. So, to prove our value. And so, I think if we’re misaligned, it can feel so much harder to quote unquote, get clients because we feel like right, we have to do certain things to attract them, to stay making money or bringing in revenue or to support people.

[00:16:48] And this whole misalignment, versus like, if you are in your energy and trust that when you show up as who you are, that gives other people permission to show up as they are, and that they see something in you that they either consciously or subconsciously want to become or tap into, like that gives everyone permission just to show up fully and to be who they are.

[00:17:09] And there’s no fight or pretending or misalignment. So, I hope that, yeah, I hope that answers the question. Yeah. I love that. I love that idea of when you show up fully, you give the person with who that you’re with the permission also to show up fully and become mirrors of each other. That’s really beautiful.

[00:17:28] So what you’ve kind of already answered it, but I’d like to go in a little bit deeper. What does owning your worth look and feel like? How do we know we’re in the energy of owning our worth? I mean, it feels like flow and that’s such a fluffy, but ease, right? It feels easeful. It feels, yes. This confident energy that like, Hey, I am

[00:17:48] in control of my life, meaning I have the power to make a decision to say yes or no. I have the power to walk away from this client who is not ideal because I’m not straining and fighting for the next dollar. I’m not disowning my, my value or my worth or my values to just work with somebody. Right. It just feels like, ah, I am, I have time and space and energy to

[00:18:12] create and to wait for the ideal, next opportunity. And so, it’s this place of living from like excitement and joy and wonder. And for me adventure, it’s like, oh, this is all just a huge adventure. And I’m so excited about what’s going to come next, and I have the tools to handle the ups and the downs of this ride.

[00:18:31] But I think more than anything, it just knowing that we are inherently deserving. And from that place, how do we make decisions in our life? Like, are we giving ourselves this freedom to ask ourselves, well, even if this is an uncomfortable position for me to be in, if I were to own my worth, what would I say?

[00:18:49] What would I do? What would I ask for and living right from that place instead of reacting or proving or pleasing? I love that. If I were to own my worth, what would I ask for? What would I do? Who would I be? Yeah. I love that. And you said people pleasing and I really feel like, and it kind of gets back to that original thing

[00:19:10] you said that those original messages we receive from society that you shouldn’t need. You know, you shouldn’t, others need more than you. And I think that like the opposite of owning your worth in many respects is people pleasing, isn’t it not like isn’t that kind of a deep shadow of owning our worth?

[00:19:28] Yes. Yeah, because that’s the ultimate way we’re giving our power away and it’s not about us. It’s about everyone else. Yeah. There’s the misconception again there that like, thinking about everyone else is the good thing is the right thing is generous or kind thing to do, but there’s a huge cost to us and our business and our career and our income, like when we don’t

[00:19:49] take care of ourselves or our needs or our desires first. Right? The, the counterintuitive piece to all of this is that when we own our worth, when we take care of ourselves, when we fill our own cup, right. And please ourselves first, we have so much more to give and then receive, right? It’s the, it’s the opposite impact versus giving

[00:20:09] you know, making everyone else happy and suffering on the inside. Yeah, that’s brilliant. That is so brilliant. And I hear it a lot with my clients. Well, I think this was a form of people pleasing. Well, I want to charge more, but I feel like my clients can’t afford it. So essentially, I’m going to keep my rates low to please them so they can afford me.

[00:20:28] And so in doing that and lowering your prices to please people, it automatically just attracts in the wrong person. Right? Cause you’re, you’re attracting in a person who is kind of looking to bargain shop and not pay you what you’re worth. And your soul clients are always here to pay you. That like the soul clients, which is my name for it, like an ideal client avatar.

[00:20:53] Soul clients are not bargain shoppers. They are not bargain shoppers. They are here. They may not know it, but on a soul level, they know your worth, they know your worth, and they’re looking to actually invest in that. And so, by not charging what you’re worth you’re actually, again, putting out that wrong signal to bring in the wrong person.

[00:21:16] Yes. Yes. If we devalue ourselves, then again, this becomes a mirror with the client, right? So, when you own your worth and you charge what you believe, right? Even, even more, even if it feels like a stretch for you, but you can own that. Then again, you’re holding your client to that next level. They’re able to say, wow, if she can do this, like I can do this and I’m going to do that because I am worthy, and this is how I can own and define my impact and my value in the marketplace with my clients and right.

[00:21:45] It invites all of us to up level versus being stuck in this energy of I shouldn’t ask for that because no one will be able to afford me or they’ll think I’m blah, blah, blah. Right. And, and that, that isn’t serving anyone. And I I’ve, I don’t know about you, Allyson but before this new year, 2022, I’ve got so many emails from my service providers.

[00:22:06] You know, my health care practitioners, like these long emails kind of explaining why they have to increase their rates. Yeah, it’s thoughtful. But at the same time, like I don’t, we don’t really have to give people a reason. We can just say, this is what I’m charging. Here’s the advanced notice. Like I appreciate you and value you as a client.

[00:22:24] And when someone who enjoys working with you, who wants to be in your energy, like, yes, they will pay because it’s not a decision about money. It’s a decision about energy and growth and opportunity. Nice. Yes. I love that. Yes, yes. Yes. So how do we, how can we mindfully get into the energy of feeling more confident?

[00:22:48] So how do you help your clients to feel more confident? I think at first allowing them some space to feel everything else first. So, all the pain, the fear, the, the stuck energy that they’ve been trying to avoid or overcompensate for, I think there’s first, it’s this process of, of melting of surrendering to the pain, to the fear.

[00:23:12] So whatever has led them to where they are, where they’re feeling this place of being stuck or feeling like they’re, they’re so overworked and underpaid, but they’re so afraid to talk about money, like, or they’re so afraid to again, stand up for their value and have that hard conversation or walk away from something they’ve been, you know, to walk away from a product or a service that they’ve been offering, but it’s just not working.

[00:23:34] I think it’s really about giving them the space to let it all come undone and feel that, to kind of clear the energy to then say, okay, again, this question of, if you were truly living from this place of knowing that you are worthy, trusting that you are enough. What would you say, what would you do? What would you ask for?

[00:23:54] And so I take my clients on this journey of being able to tap into a time and a place, right? I mean, some people call it a peak experience as a coach, but where they felt their CEO self-energy, where they felt into their higher self and intuition. And for some people it’s maybe years and years ago, but we’ve all had that experience at some point or another.

[00:24:14] If we let ourselves go back there and from that energetic space, they can build this reconnection to the part of themselves that knows they are worthy. So, I help them from this energetic and spiritual and inner place, reconnect to their true power. And then on the outside because of my backgrounds in human resources and the corporate world, and working with money on all sides and also the personal growth work I have done, I can then help them write, really create value-based statements, have these hard conversations, like the language, the practical side of

[00:24:49] owning your worth in business and especially as women, it’s nuance. So, I guess that would be both sides, right? The inner side, and then the outside practical piece, but the inner work it comes first, and some people love that space and some people aren’t ready and that’s okay too. But I think as you know, Allyson, with your work, it’s an offering, right?

[00:25:06] And people will be led back to it when, when it’s, when it’s time for them to really heal. Yeah. Absolutely. I think so much of the work I do with clients, the energy work I do with clients when you kind of get to the heart of a block when you’ve got the, you know, cause for all of our blocks have layers and long-tails and all of our blocks tell us a variation of different stories.

[00:25:29] So often when you kind of get to the real root of it. It’s some form of, I’m not worthy. I’m not deserving. I don’t deserve love. I don’t deserve money. I don’t deserve success. So, it really is. I couldn’t agree with you more. It’s starting there and just seeing it, cause that block is triggering an emotion,

[00:25:49] of some form of feelings of unworthiness and that unworthy feeling of unworthiness is our truth. You know, I always say that our emotions always tell us the truth. It’s not the truth about who we are, but it’s really the truth of our energetic resonance. Like that thing is inside of us. We’re feeling it.

[00:26:05] That is true and that is trying to get our attention. So, I really, really just absolutely couldn’t agree more that that is such a brilliant place to start. And then releasing anything that’s ready to be released in this moment. And once you release that, that’s actually a beautiful time that post-release, time to go into the light.

[00:26:26] You know, you release the shadow, you release the dark, go back into the light. And I like what you’re saying, like going to those moments of time where you’ve, you’ve been in that flow, you’ve been in that confidence. The other thing I invite people to do is go to the heart space. My listeners will hear me say this a lot go to the heart space.

[00:26:46] I feel like going to that heart energy, when we connect into our higher self. There is that getting back to that thing that you were talking about earlier that ease that there’s, there is ultimately always an ease in the connection, connecting into the heart, connecting to the higher self. It’s just sort of an auto adjust back into that, that worthiness, that worthiness is there too, right?

[00:27:07] Yes. Yes. And I think I do a lot of work with clients around there, there’s the, the throat space, because so many of us haven’t spoken our truth. And when it comes to money or asking for what we need or using our voice to express ourselves from a place of worthiness or confidence, like there’s a lot of stuck energy there.

[00:27:29] And I think whenever I invite my clients, especially when they’re trying to set rates, you know, share their dream income, or talk about money or say what they really would love to earn, like from that stuck place, most people start small and I have to really help them again, dream bigger and say this number.

[00:27:46] And then energetically, it feels so foreign or difficult or wrong, wrong sometimes to even speak, these certain words like I am worthy, or I want to earn whatever a million dollars or, and so, yeah, I think it’s really important to reconnect to those stuck places, our heart, for sure. And our voice and how we present ourselves right in the world and advocate for ourselves.

[00:28:09] That’s so good. I love that. I remember when I raised my rates for the first time to five figures and I was charging much less than five figures and it was a big jump up. It was like more than doubling my rates. And then I went on to like, kind of more than triple them. For some reason, doubling them was harder than tripling them.

[00:28:29] You know, it was like that first hump and I had a bunch of, I’d just done a masterclass. I had a bunch of discovery calls booked, and I remember I was talking to my coach at the time, and I was like, I feel like this is what I’m feeling called the charge, but I just, I don’t know how I’m going to ask for that in the discovery call.

[00:28:48] I just don’t know how I’m going to do it. And I remember her vividly saying to me, Allyson all you have to do is say it and I, it struck me. I was like, she’s right. All I have to do is say it. I cannot control how that client will respond, but all I have to do is say it. And so, I had my first discovery call

[00:29:10] at these new rates and we got to the part, well, Allyson how much is your investment? And at the time it was a $10,000 investment. And I said, it’s $10,000. And do you know what she said? She said, great I’d like to sign up. I was just like; it was really like ripping a band aid off. And after that, it didn’t feel nearly as hard.

[00:29:32] And then when I went to raise my rates, I went up to the 25 K level. It wasn’t nearly as hard as that bump there’s that first bump up. It was, it was so much easier. I think it is like this ripping the band aid off. Just say it right. Yes, because if the energy of money, it’s not even about money, right? It’s about the energy of it.

[00:29:52] And yes, we’re again conditioned to not talk about money or to have, we have a complicated relationship with, again, who are you to charge, blah, blah, blah, who are you to earn? Or we can even look at our own ideas of what, what we learned about quote, unquote, rich people like when we were growing up.

[00:30:09] So yeah, just saying the number and realizing like it’s just the number the person has the opportunity to say yes or no, as long as I am grounded in it, that’s all that matters. Yes. A hundred percent, a hundred percent. So, I would love to know Ashley given your, like, you have a really, really cool background, like doing the energy and confidence work, but marrying that with actually like finding the right words, because words do matter and actually finding the right words helps you to align more deeply to that confidence.

[00:30:38] So what are your top tips that you have to help us own our value and really be more confident with talking about money. And most of the listeners of this podcast are soul guided entrepreneurs. So essentially when they’re in a discovery call or they’re speaking to they’re in a sales conversation and they’re, they’re in that position where they just have to say it, what are some tips you have for them? Before getting on any of those phone calls

[00:31:02] it’s like reminding yourself of the impact that you’ve created. You know, I still do this, like asking, like, listening to what your clients are telling you about the work that you do and really believing them right. Because we’re often our worst critics, our own worst critics. And we have to listen to when our clients say, thank you so much,

[00:31:22] this changed my life, or this helped me in this way. And so being able to integrate that into who we are and trusting that that is when we’re in our highest good of service. That’s the massive impact that we’re taking. So, it’s really about taking a deep breath. It’s about practicing. If there’s any stuck energy around saying a certain number practice it out loud.

[00:31:43] So I like to help clients, create some sort of mini script again with a language, some, some lines, some sentences that they can say so that way they feel prepared. But at the end of the day, it’s when you’re, when you’re talking about money, it’s doing the inner work first of, what does this bring up for me?

[00:32:00] And if I allow myself to just get curious with a potential client about what it’s bringing up from them, we’ll be able to connect on the deepest level, whether we work together or not, it’ll provide me information about who this person is and what they might need and how I can serve them. And it becomes not about the money, but about whether or not 

[00:32:18] you’re really meant to be working together and really meant to be impacting this person. So, I think it’s about preparing and practicing out loud saying your script or the number out loud. So that way energetically, you can address anything that doesn’t feel aligned. Like there still might be fear. I negotiate all day, every day still.

[00:32:36] And I notice when I’m uncomfortable or if it’s a certain person. So, it’s just really being aware, aware of that. And when you say the number, as you said, right, just kind of pause and wait. When we get uncomfortable, we kind of try to fill the silence. So, if you say your rate out loud and then pause and kind of ask the follow up question.

[00:32:55] How does that all sound? It gives the person on the other side, a moment to digest and you can go into the conversation from there reminding yourself of your impact, preparing beforehand for these conversations and getting very clear on what’s a yes and a no for you. So, some of my clients ask, you know, whether or not they should offer discounts and there’s no right or wrong answer.

[00:33:16] It’s just about getting clear on what are you going to say yes to and no to, before you get on the phone with somebody, because if you end up like discounting yourself out of the blue to get somebody to say yes, is that you really owning your worth? Are you really going to be in the highest service or you’re going to end up resenting this potential client because yeah?

[00:33:34] you had a fear around what you were offering. So those are my tips. Those are amazing tips! That was a huge, just to reflect back to you. That was, one of the things you said was a huge game changer for me also, I think in owning my worth. And that was, I noticed that I would try to oversell myself. And when you’re trying to oversell yourself from a place of, usually not from owning your worth is when you’re, you know, you’re from this place of, oh boy, I don’t know if I’m really worth this.

[00:34:02] So I really have to oversell. And you tend to say a lot. And I realized that, you know, when it got to the point of so Allyson, what’s your investment? It’s this. And you know, one of the things that I said that I sometimes will say in a discovery call is, you know, because I do charge more. I charge more than a lot of my peers and I’ll just say my programs aren’t for everybody.

[00:34:22] And that’s true. My programs are not for everybody, but for that person who feels like they got a big soul mission, and they want to step into it and they’re ready to triple their income from last year and serve more people and grow spiritually and activate their gifts then hell yeah. I’m the coach for them.

[00:34:40] My programs aren’t for everybody. But if they feel like they’re for you, then do you have any questions? It’s just like that, you know, and there’s something really powerful about that just is like, this is what I cost. It’s not for everybody. Are you interested? Bam. Microphone drop. Yes. Yes. And if it is for them, they will be able to step into that energy.

[00:35:01] Right. And this is how we break through the wealth gap, the gender gap, the pay gap. The, the, all the gaps. And this is why most of us ended up in entrepreneurship, was to make the biggest impact and you use the wealth and the money that we’re creating to make the world a better place. And when I ground myself in that.

[00:35:20] This is where it’s like, we’re giving all of ourselves permission to earn more and for so long, for too long, we’ve accepted less than right. And I’m not okay with that anymore. And I don’t want you to be okay with that anymore, Allyson right. And any of your listeners. And so, when we own it for ourselves, we give, we change the energetic dynamics of what

[00:35:39] women and everyone else, are now believing they are worthy of and possible. For me, it’s about like, what is possible when you say it’s possible, because what you charge then they know it’s possible for them 100%. Yes, yes, yes, yes. Yes. So, Ashley, this has been amazing. You are so good at this, and you just are really, you’re just in the right field, doing the right thing.

[00:36:00] And I, I love, I, you know, it’s just, it’s, you’re, you’re really, you really are a true expert on this topic. So, I always like to ask my podcast guests to leave our listeners with an invitation and inviting them to do something or be someone or, or wherever you want to invite them to go. Hm, I would love to connect to your listeners.

[00:36:22] So head on over to my website ownyourworth.com, you can check out my TEDx talk there. I have some freebies there. You can learn about my work of course, but really just, I would love to connect so own your worth.com or I’m on Instagram iamAshleyParé.com, but really, I invite your listeners to ask themselves the question of, if I own my worth, what would I say, or what would I do?

[00:36:46] Or what would I ask for? Nice. I love that. So, all of those links that Ashley just mentioned will be in the show notes. I totally recommend that you check her and her work out. Ashley’s doing amazing work in the world, and I love your invitation. I love this idea. If I were to own my worth, I feel like it gives you so much permission because you’re not putting pressure on yourself.

[00:37:08] I must own my worth. You’re just like, it’s very, it’s very like just spacious. If I were to own my worth, what would I ask for? Who would I be? What would I do? So, spend some time journaling that, meditating on that, contemplating that see what comes up and see if you get an answer. If you can start

[00:37:29] tipping your toe in the water that, that answer lies in and see how it feels. Okay. Ashley, I really, really can’t. Thank you enough for being on the show. Truly, truly so grateful that you came and shared your wisdom with us today. Thank you so much, Allyson. Let me know, listeners. Allyson, you too. I want to hear like these success stories or worthy stories, whatever, comes through to you, like this is, I would love to hear.

[00:37:56] I don’t know, because I want to be able to celebrate you and your listeners. And this is what excites me about changing the energy around, owning our worth. So, thank you again for having me. It’s my pleasure. And I can’t wait to see what magic we create. Yay.

[00:38:20] And I’d like to thank you, dear listener so much for tuning in. It really means so much to me. And if you’re feeling so called to leave this podcast, a rating and review, and I’d be so grateful, and I would read your review on the air. Head over to our show notes, where you can find links to different places where you can leave reviews.

[00:38:41] If you have an apple product, you can leave it on apple podcasts. And we have some other links in the show notes for people who don’t have apple products. So, head on over and check it out and I’d be so, so, so grateful for a few kind words about the various things you receive from this podcast. And as always until next time, may your soul guide the way.

[00:39:12] Are you ready to fill your business with soul clients in the next 60 days, then download my free energy, upgrade meditation to amp up your energy frequency, dissolve the doubt and attract the soul clients you are destined to serve. Find the link to download on my website, Allyson scammell.com as well as in the show notes.