Better Business Boundaries: Knowing Exactly When to Say “Yes” and “No” 

[00:00:00] Hey, ho dear ones. Today’s episode is coming to you from Freya’s Yes Day. Freya is my seven year old daughter, and she has been convincing me or working at me or plugging away at me to have a Yes Day. A movie just came out starring Jennifer Gardner. I think it’s on Netflix. It’s called Yes Day, where the parents are challenged by the children.

[00:00:29] to say yes for an entire day and they can’t say no. And there’s a few rules imposed, but not too many. And of course, in the movie, all this craziness follows and people learn all these lessons and breakthroughs and all the things you would expect from a Hollywood movie. So Freya finally broke me down. I needed a really big reward for her.

[00:00:53] I was trying to get her to do something she really didn’t want to do. So I knew I had to get out the big guns. So I said she could have a yes mall, not a yes day, a yes mall, or we would, we would go to the mall, a place she loves to go. We live by one of the nicest malls in the Netherlands. And for an afternoon, I would say yes to anything she wanted to do inside the mall, and she would get a budget so she could only spend so much money, and she could only have so much sugar.

[00:01:27] So those were the only two rules. She was given cash, so she was given two 20s, which you might be thinking 40 euros is a lot to give a seven year old, but it’s really expensive here. And being realistic, if she wanted, there’s a gaming center and those games are expensive. I mean, if she wanted to buy something, I mean, it’s realistically what things cost.

[00:01:53] Cause my husband’s like 40 euro. Are you nuts? And I’m like, well, I’m just, this is yes. Small. So if she has no money in a mall, it’s not going to feel very exciting for her. So I agreed to 40 euros and then the equivalent of two scoops of ice cream. So it didn’t have to be ice cream. And of course, that is a judgment call on Mama’s part when she reaches that point.

[00:02:16] But I gave her the boundary, the boundary, getting to the point of this episode of She could have as much sugar as the equivalent of two scoops of ice cream on a cone, let’s say. All right, this sounds pretty simple, right? This yes mall ended up being a whole lot trickier than I thought it would and I’m gonna explain why in a second and it’s the same reason that We all struggle to put up those healthy business boundaries.

[00:02:50] That puts us in an energetic harmony and alignment in our business. And that’s because we struggle to say yes. To the things that we really want to say yes to and no to the things we really don’t want to do. And there’s a good reason we do that. And I’m going to be unpacking all of this in today’s super powerful results producing episode.

[00:03:16] Before I move on with any of that, I do want to give a huge thank you to Goddess Branco, who left me a five star review, and she said, absolutely love. Thank you. I just want to soak up Allison’s energy every time I hit play. Such powerful business guidance, yet infused with potent spiritual wisdom. Thank you.

[00:03:40] You are so welcome, Goddess Branco. And if you, dear listener, haven’t left me a review yet, Please, let’s make today the day you do so head to your smartphone, head to where you listen. If you listen on Apple, click on the app, click on soul guide radio, scroll down and you will see a link that says, leave a rating review.

[00:04:03] I’m super grateful for five stars and what you specifically. received from this episode. I love that sort of specific feedback. That way I know what’s landing for you and what’s not, so I can give you more of the content that you’re really craving. You can also send me feedback via DM. I’m on Facebook and Instagram.

[00:04:25] I would love to hear from you. All right, let’s get into setting some business boundaries. In today’s episode, we explore how to establish healthy business boundaries that keeps your energy in harmony, how to know exactly when to say yes and no, and how to follow through on those heart led yeses and nos.

[00:04:47] I’ll end on an invitation that will have you experiencing energetic harmony in life and business that puts you in a delicious, effortless flow state. So please stay with me until the end. Welcome to Soul Guide Radio, a podcast for soul guided leaders, influencers, and entrepreneurs here to bring about change on a massive level.

[00:05:13] We’ll explore how you can activate your big soul mission, amplify your spiritual gifts, and clear the energy blocks weighing you down so you can gain unstoppable momentum in life and business. I’m Allison Scammell, your host and soul guide.

[00:05:36] Hello soul guide circle. That is the name of this global community of soul guided leaders and entrepreneurs. In the Soul Guide Circle, we are using our spiritual gifts to grow prosperous heart led businesses that are on the leading edge of consciousness. Find a link to join our closed Facebook group at allysonscammell.com

[00:05:54] or in the show notes. Today, we’re talking business boundaries. And really at the heart of that is knowing when to say yes. and when to say no and following through on those yeses and nos. Let’s get into establishing healthy business boundaries that keeps your energy in harmony. Where do you want to start?

[00:06:21] Start with this, or if you’ve been at this for a while, this is not something that just you figure out one time and then you forever have good business boundaries. This is something that is with you for the entirety of your time in business for the entirety of your life. Because things always shift. New things come and go.

[00:06:43] New clients, new programs. New platforms, new team members, and so you’re always going to have to be re evaluating your boundaries. This is not a one and done exercise. So if you’ve spent a lot of time on this, well done, gold star. Use this as your opportunity to check in and see how things are going. If you’re on the newer side of your journey, then great.

[00:07:09] This is one of the most important things, boundaries that you can start to consider and set up the right way in your business that really enables you. Your business to grow. This is about your energy and energetic harmony, but it’s also about revenue. If you are operating your business on an empty tank, your potential clients and customers will feel that.

[00:07:33] And not just that it’s actually the universe source feels that and source will actually withhold clients and customers from you if. There isn’t any energy on your part to receive them in and it’s not like source is sitting back in a room plotting this. It’s just energy. It’s energetic alignment. So if your tank is on empty, you are out of energetic alignment.

[00:08:09] And therefore making it more difficult to put out that strong energetic signal so that your ideal clients and customers can find you. So first, always first and foremost, even before checking in with your intuition, which of course I’m going to get to in a sec. First check in with your energy, your emotional compass, your physical compass.

[00:08:34] How do you feel? Do you feel exhausted or do you feel lit up? If you’re feeling high energy, what is contributing to your feeling high energy? Or if you reflect back to your average week, when do you tend to be in a high vibe state or when are you at your best? So for me, I’m always my best somewhere between 9 and 12 in the morning.

[00:09:05] I mean, to be honest, I’m actually best from like, 5 a. m. to 8 a. m., but I have kids and, you know, kids make it hard for you to maintain that sometimes. And I’ve tried to get into that 5 a. m. routine, but at this point in my life, that’s actually more exhausting than not. So I’m giving myself permission to sleep in more, get that extra sleep, still wake up early enough that I can meditate and I’m getting my spiritual routine in.

[00:09:39] Then Freya wakes up and the day is off. And then once she goes to school, I come back, I walk the dog. If I haven’t finished my journaling, I journal. And then by 9am, I’m seated. My butt and my chair to do creative work for my business. This is when I do podcasts. This is when I create videos, write emails.

[00:10:01] This is when I do the creative content. I do not have clients or classes from 9 a. m. To 12 p. m. Because this is the height of my creative. Spark. And because my energy does then dip in the afternoon, I do then take a pretty long break. I’m a projector, so I have to really give myself ample amounts of rest in the day, which I do.

[00:10:30] So I take a big rest from 12 to 2 and sometimes even 12 to 3 if I don’t have a 2 o’clock appointment and I really feel like I need it. I will journal a little bit more. I’ll do some human design study. I’ll listen to some human design videos. This is when I go on a long walk with Astrid and go out in nature.

[00:10:53] I will go to the gym. I will go to yoga. I will eat lunch. So this is my rest time. And then I typically always have clients or classes. from 3 to 5 p. m. And that’s typically a low energy time for me. But because I’m plugging into high vibrational soul clients and I love the work I do, it gives me a natural energetic boost, not a draining, you know, not a spike up and then spike back down.

[00:11:23] It’s actually giving me energy deposits so that I can bring my energy up during a typically low vibe time for me. And then that brings me to five o’clock where Again, at that time I’ll be pretty tired and I don’t want to be exhausted for when Freya gets home at 530. She comes home from aftercare at 530.

[00:11:46] So I give myself that very important time from 5 to 530 to rest. I normally go on the couch, I’ll get a book, I’ll pat Astrid. And then I’ll go to bed. Something relaxing so I can rest and recharge and I’m ready then without being on an empty tank for when Freya gets home so I can be present for her. Now this day that I’ve set up has come to me as a result of a lot of, a lot of trial and error, emphasis on error, after tons and tons of burnout and just noticing What works for my energy?

[00:12:24] It’s trying something out, reflecting back. Did I maintain energetic harmony? And getting to know your human design type is going to help a whole heck of a lot. And it’s very handy to check out your human design arrows. And I recorded two podcast episodes all about how to integrate your human design arrows into your business and business routines.

[00:12:50] So we’ll link those in the show notes and I recommend checking those out. So establishing healthy boundaries starts with following your energy and noticing the What are the things, people, habits, and patterns that are draining your energy? And what are the things, people, habits, patterns that are giving you energy deposits?

[00:13:13] When are you at your energetic highest in an average day? Can you set that time aside to do your high energy creative work? And during those periods of the day that are low vibe, what are some things that you can do to rest first and foremost rest? And then what are activities? That you can insert in there that give you a little energetic boost, but not from a forced place, not from digging into your reserve and pushing through, but things that give you true energy deposits.

[00:13:49] And in order to establish all that, we need to be clear on what we want to say yes to and what we want to say no to. And then following through on those yeses and nos, which I’m going to get to in a sec. Okay, so we know what we want to say yes to and no to in business by what? Of course, following your intuition.

[00:14:16] And I know you know this and I know you’ve heard me say it, but I’m just a little reminder fairy here that is saying if something is feeling off in your business, There’s probably a boundary that wants to be established, and there’s something you need to say yes or no to. Your intuition can guide you.

[00:14:36] So maybe you have a difficult client and she’s pinging you at all hours of the day and night and expecting a response and it’s draining you. Well that’s your feedback to saying yes to office hours and letting your clients know at the start of a journey. That you’re only available for emails or Vox or exchanges or phone calls during these hours of these days.

[00:15:06] I find with clients, if you have to establish a new boundary halfway through the relationship, so let’s say they’ve signed up for a six month coaching package with you and you said your office hours, for example, were Monday through Friday, but then you realize that you really want to keep Friday free.

[00:15:27] BYE! For personal things and you want to change it to Monday to Thursday, you have to first of all, first and foremost, decide, can you just make it to the end of the coaching journey before you establish the new boundary? Most clients are fully on board when you tell them your boundaries at the start of a journey and they’re all in, yep, got it, clear, good, and they respect those boundaries, most of them, right?

[00:16:03] A lot of people have a hard time when the boundaries are changed halfway in the journey. Some will be able to go with the flow and some will find that very challenging. So to get over that, First and foremost, always best to establish boundaries at the start of the journey and not change those boundaries.

[00:16:25] Until the next journey, right? So again, getting to the example, they signed up for six months and then you want to establish a new boundary. Wait till that six months is over and maybe they renew for another six months and then establish it for the second six months and you can let them know. I’ve changed these things about the way I work with clients.

[00:16:47] Do you still want to continue? And when they say yes. They are reflecting your boundaries back to you and that means it is highly likely they will respect your boundaries. If they say no, that’s good for you to know because that means you and your client probably would have gotten into some friction. So it’s good that maybe that client wants to move on to a different coach and that creates space for you to call in that perfect client who’s ready to be in harmony with your boundaries.

[00:17:21] However, maybe you’re realizing that there’s something happening in your coach clients relationships that’s sucking your energy and you can’t wait till the end of the six months. You have to change it now and that happens and that can happen. Then you just have to communicate it clearly to the client and let that client know why it’s in his or her best interest that these Boundaries or rules or regulations or practices are changing and don’t do it from a place of dishonesty like you’re trying to trick them into going along with it.

[00:18:03] Really give it some thought. How is this new boundary that I know I need to stay in energetic alignment and harmony? How is this in the best interest of my clients? And typically you can just say, because. I want to be at my highest and best for you. And this is how I can do that. But really, really think so.

[00:18:24] Yes, that’s part of it, but try to think other ways in which it’s really in the highest and greatest good for the client, how it makes her experience even better. And that’s how you present it to them. Okay. So getting back to knowing exactly when to say yes and no, you follow your intuition. Follow. Those things that are really draining your energy and how can I fix those energy leaks follow your human design authority.

[00:18:54] Authority can be very powerful when it comes to maintaining your energetic alignment. which is what we’re trying to do by establishing healthy boundaries. And then ultimately it gets to testing to see what works. Cause guess what friends? Our higher self can and will actually lead us into a boundary that doesn’t feel good.

[00:19:22] So we can taste that sting. And see just how important that boundary being up is so we can actually healthfully establish it. So yes, follow intuition. Yes, follow your human design authority and then test to see what works. Tweaking and refining as you go, which again is truly the never ending process, right?

[00:19:45] So healthy boundaries is a fluid thing. We’re always tweaking. We’re always refining. What worked yesterday will no longer work today. So this is an ongoing practice we’re talking about. All right. We’re finally to the point where we’re going to talk about how to follow through on those heart led yeses and no’s.

[00:20:06] When it feels hard, when it feels hard to put up the boundary, it feels hard to say yes, it feels hard to say no. Getting back to Yes Mall, I promise there’s a point here, and this is truly the inspiration behind this episode. We get to the mall. Freya has her two crisp 20 year old bills. She has her firm boundaries.

[00:20:31] Once that money’s gone, she has no more money to spend. She can have the equivalent of in sugar of two scoops of ice cream. But I didn’t really say anything about fried food or, you know, chips or fries. I didn’t mention that because Freya really has a sweet tooth. So that would have been maybe the thing that she would have gone, spent her entire 40 euro on.

[00:20:53] We get there and it ended up being a really busy day. She had ballet, she had swimming lessons, we were doing a bunch of stuff in the house. And we didn’t get to the mall until like four o’clock and it stays open late. So we were going to be there from about four to 7 p. m., which is about all the mall time I can handle.

[00:21:14] I don’t do well in large crowds. I am very energy sensitive and large crowds. That you would find at, like, a mall is very energy draining for me, so we get there. I’m already low energy. Now I’m in an environment that is bringing my energy down even more, and we’re about to engage in. Yes, small. The first thing frail wants to do is go to Zara, which is a clothing store.

[00:21:46] And shop for clothes and Zara is not so expensive. So I was like, all right, you know, just remember once your money’s gone, it’s gone. So we get there. And the first thing she does is go to a jean jacket, which is similar to one that she has at home. And she says, I want to buy this. And the first thing I say is, No.

[00:22:10] No, Freya. You have one just like it at home. So Pete and I are trying to convince her and conjole her to other things in the clothing store. And then Pete and I start to get ravenously hungry, and we really want to get something to eat. And Pete can get really hangry if he doesn’t have food in his system.

[00:22:32] So we say to Freya, Hey Freya, let’s pause here and go eat an early dinner. And she says, No, I’m going to keep shopping. And we say, no, Freya, let’s go eat dinner now. So I’m noticing myself saying no to her on her yes mall, which is not really the spirit of what the experience was supposed to be, but I was super tired.

[00:22:57] And I was super hungry. I realized I hadn’t really eaten lunch. And so we were all getting irritable. So finally she agreed. We went to have dinner and we decided to go to this sports bar type place in the mall, which is where Freya likes to eat. And in this sports bar, there’s a gaming area with video games and air hockey and all sorts of stuff.

[00:23:21] So we finish our food and Freya says, I want to go back to Zara and finish shopping. And what do I say? No, Freya, you said you also wanted to do gaming. We’re at the gaming now, let’s do that first, and then do Zara. And at this point I was so exhausted, I was like, I want to hit Zara, which was close to our car, get into that car and go home, I want to get out of this shopping mall.

[00:23:53] And Freya’s like, no, I want to do Zara, and then I want to come back to gaming. This is Yes Mall. So finally Pete and I agree to go back to Zara like on the other side of the mall and at this point we’re close to our parked car. So we get there and I say to Pete, she’s shopping and I say to Pete, I do not have the energy for gaming.

[00:24:18] We did not plan this experience well. We did not think it through. We did not establish healthy boundaries to the yes small experience. I thought about the money and the sugar. Because I knew Freya would want to buy a bunch of stuff and eat a bunch of sugar. So I got that, but I didn’t think about me and my needs.

[00:24:41] And I was not at my best when I wasn’t giving Freya this sort of yes experience that she had been hoping for. And I kept saying no to her on Yes Mall. So what’s the lesson in all this? I should have thought about my own needs as part of this Yes Mall experience. I should have made sure that. We did it in the morning when I’m highest energy.

[00:25:09] I should not have done it when I was so exhausted. I should have also established the boundary of time. We’re going to be yes. Small lasts for three hours and it goes from when from 9 AM to 12 PM when I am at my highest vibrational and I really should have just been in there with her. Okay, we’ve got the money boundary.

[00:25:29] We’ve got the sugar boundary. Now Freya, I will not say no to anything that you want to do in this mall. I am along for the ride. And truly the same applies with your clients and customers when they’re engaging in your offers, when they’re engaging in you, you want them to be surprised and delighted and in this yes energy, which is a high vibrational.

[00:25:55] Expanded energy. And if your tank is on empty, and if you’re not. taking care of your energetic needs that will be very difficult to offer them. So this is truly, truly why these healthy energetic boundaries can make all the difference. And they definitely will lead To a more joyful experience for you, but ultimately it will lead to more sales and revenue coming in to your business.

[00:26:24] My invitation for you this week is to check in, identify the number one energy leak in your business. So that thing, that time of day, that pattern that’s draining you the most. How can you tweak and refine that? And shift into something higher. And what are the things that are actually most high vibe give you the biggest energy deposits?

[00:26:50] Can you add more of that, please? All right. My dear ones, that is a wrap for this week. And as always, for listening. Until next time, may your soul guide the way.

[00:27:07] Hi, dear ones. Listen here. The soul blueprint certification program is a roadmap to becoming a more powerful coach, healer, writer, artist, or entrepreneur, and then earning more money. It’s the only certification program that reveals how to activate your five unique spiritual gifts, and So you can create massive soul aligned success in life and business, learn more and enroll at allysonscammell.com/soulblueprint,

[00:27:34] or if enrollment is closed, you can join the soul list. So you’ll be the first to know when the next cohort is opening up. And you’ll also be eligible to receive special high value bonuses. Again, that’s allysonscammell.com/soulblueprint

Timestamps:

00:01  Intro & listener review

06:12  Energetic alignment

08:21  Check in with your energy

14:06  Setting & modifying boundaries

18:38  Following intuition & authority

20:00  Follow-through & Yes Mall story 

26:24  Invitation & conclusion