Aligning Your Head, Heart, and Higher Self with Hilary DeCesare

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There are so many ways to experience alignment in our lives.

In our energy, our values, our truths, and our authenticity.

And when we do experience alignment, it just feels right. Things click into place, and you feel peace, ease, and joy. ✨

So naturally, we yearn to experience alignment (and the peace that comes with it) as often as we can.

We ask ourselves: How can I align? What do I need to do to align? Who do I need to be to align? What do I need to let go of to align?

Well, you’re in luck, because in today’s episode of Soul Guide Radio, we are exploring a surefire way to align to your highest dreams and desires 💖

To explore this topic, I am joined by the brilliant Hilary DeCesare and she shares her revolutionary 3HQ method (Head, Heart, and Higher Self) that will help you easily shift into alignment. 💫

Hilary DeCesare is award-winning business expert, international bestselling author and host of the Relaunch podcast. She has a refreshing take on alignment that is so needed right now! You don’t want to miss a minute of our conversation.

▶️  PRESS PLAY on this episode: Aligning Your Head, Heart, and Higher Self with Hilary DeCesare to learn how to understand your energy so you can show up every day at your best in true alignment.
Guest Bio: 
Hilary DeCesare is an award-winning business expert, international best-selling author, and host of “The reLaunch Podcast.” As a sought-after speaker, founder of The Relaunch Co., and previously one of Oracle’s top account managers worldwide, Hilary brings fresh energy to industry leaders, CEOs, and solopreneurs. She holds a psychology degree and a range of certifications in her field and has been featured on ABC’s hit TV series The Secret Millionaire. Her insights have been seen on ABC, NBC, CBS, Fox, Forbes Coaches Council and mentioned in the Huffington Post, Yahoo, Market Watch, and others. As an innovator in neuropsychology as it relates to business and life, DeCesare has cultivated her experience to illuminate a heart-driven path to conquer today’s shifting landscape, re-imagining personal and professional success through the 3HQ method from her new book “RELAUNCH! Spark Your Heart to Ignite Your Life”

In today’s episode, we explore: 

  • A powerful way to do soul-guided visioning
  • The 3HQ method and how it can change your life
  • How to align your head, heart and higher self to your highest dreams and intentions 💖


  • Find out your human design profile HERE
  • Check out Sheryl Sandberg’s Book, Lean In HERE

Hillary’s Resources: 

  • Visit Hilary’s website HERE
  • Book at Roadmap Call with Hilary HERE
  • Purchase Hilary’s book, RELAUNCH! Spark Your Heart to Ignite Your Life HERE

Allyson’s Resources: 

This Week’s Invitation:

Assess your energy when you wake up in the morning, before you get out of bed. Rank your energy on a scale of 1 – 10, with 10 being, highest energy and 1 being, low energy. And then, think about your energy when you are working at your highest level. Compare those and work within the circadian rhythm of yourself.

[00:00:00] Allyson Scammell: Oh, hi. Before this episode gets officially underway, I have an important message for you. If you’re a soul guided leader, lightworker coach, healer, entrepreneur, or truth seeker, our energy is upgrading as I speak. This means you can amplify your five spiritual gifts or the gifts we use to connect to and co-create with the spiritual realm.

[00:00:28] Allyson Scammell: So, if you’re feeling called to connect and co-create at higher and higher levels then I invite you to join me for my Soul Blueprint. My Soul Blueprint is a 10-week course that reveals how to amplify your five spiritual gifts in a way that you can clarify and align all aspects of your big soul mission, start believing in yourself so completely that you become unstoppable and leave the massive mark you’re destined to. Learn more

[00:00:59] Allyson Scammell: and sign up at forward slash My Soul Blueprint and you can find a link in the show notes.

[00:01:13] Allyson Scammell: Hello my dear ones, I hope you are doing so beautifully. There is one thing I’ve noticed on my spiritual journey of growth and evolution, right? I encounter the same words over and

[00:01:32] Allyson Scammell: over again. It’s like, there’s just a handful of words I think that actually matter the most and all of the other hundreds of thousands of words that are in the average language

[00:01:45] Allyson Scammell: you know, they, I think they just clutter us and confuse us and take us off track a little bit. And one of the words that I think just is, and it’s not just words I’m talking about here, it’s like actual, like meaning the words bring to our experience and one of those meanings that I feel is fundamental

[00:02:10] Allyson Scammell: to our experience here is alignment, energetic alignment, alignment in our values, alignment in our truth, our authenticity, aligning to our natural energy. Maybe if you’re into human design, you wanna align your human design type and it’s, you know, it’s one of the true, true. What’s the word I’m looking for now?

[00:02:39] Allyson Scammell: True callings is the word coming to me for us. How can we align? What do we need to do to align? Who do we need to be to align? What do we need to let go of to align? Right? And I wanna share with you before I get into today’s episode and our guest, et cetera. I do wanna share a little story that sets this all up very nicely, what we’re gonna be exploring today, and so,

[00:03:08] Allyson Scammell: my husband and I have been talking about, well, where do we wanna go over the holidays? And we found that with having a dog and all the things and travel being not as easy as it used to be, that the farther in advance we planned the better. And we were always kind of like last minute like, hey, where do you feel like going this weekend?

[00:03:28] Allyson Scammell: Okay, let’s fly to someplace, fill in the blank. Well with kids and dogs and all the things we slowly after a lot of trips that we took that we really wish we would’ve planned in advance for a variety of reasons. We’ve finally learned to just do it. Okay, so we’ve decided where we wanna go for Christmas.

[00:03:50] Allyson Scammell: It’s now early September as I’m recording this, and we are going to Aruba and it’s one of my most favorite places on earth. I just love the island of Aruba. Okay, so we plan this trip. I’m part of a blended family, so I’ve children who live in the US, so we’ve got all the schedules coordinated. And just like over the weekend, everything just came together.

[00:04:14] Allyson Scammell: Again, schedules coordinated. My parents are coming, and my dad doesn’t have great mobility these days, so they don’t travel that often, right? So, it was just a huge score that my parents can meet us there. We found the perfect house. We’re going at the, you know, the height of the holiday season, so everything’s pretty expensive, but we found an amazing

[00:04:40] Allyson Scammell: airbnb house at a really reasonable rate. We found reasonable airfare with really good times. Like everything just clicked this weekend and before we knew it, everything was booked. And I kind of was like, how did that happen? Like everybody was on board, all schedules were managed, dog boarder for Astrid, our dog. You know,

[00:05:00] Allyson Scammell: and I was kind of like, you know, how did this all happen? This morning, I’m thinking, Okay, it’s September and we’re closing out the end of the third quarter. Let me go to my soul plan, which is my 10-page soul guided life and business plan that I just lightly create each year to help me get clarity on my goals and intentions and align, align to these goals and intentions and dreams and desires.

[00:05:30] Allyson Scammell: And on the first page, I always have three things. So, it starts with my soul mission or my highest why. Then I go into my definition of success for the year, and I always write that in a way that every single day can be successful, no matter of any outcomes. And then last but not least, is my one-year vision.

[00:05:55] Allyson Scammell: So, I spend a lot of time in December of every year doing soul guided visioning for the year ahead to see who I wanna be, how I wanna feel, more importantly than what I want to manifest. But I really kind of, I wanna spend a good amount of time and the energy of who I wanna be and what I wanna be vibrating at in the year ahead.

[00:06:16] Allyson Scammell: So, let me just read you the first line of my one-year vision that I drafted. I wrote this in December 2021. It is now September 2022. I am on the tropical island of Aruba with my husband and my children and my parents. I mean, I don’t even remember writing that last year. Really, really, really cool stuff.

[00:06:45] Allyson Scammell: And I was able to manifest that because of alignment. And alignment is what we’re gonna be exploring today. And I had the absolute pleasure of speaking with Hillary De Cesare about this topic. She has something she calls the three HQ method, the three Hs being head, heart, and higher self, and she has a really refreshing take on alignment and I really, really enjoyed our connection.

[00:07:16] Allyson Scammell: So, in today’s episode, we explore a powerful way to do soul guided visioning, what the three HQ method is and how it can change your life, and how to align your head, heart, and higher self to your highest dreams and intentions. We end on a very cool invitation that will have you understanding your energy so you can show up each and every day at your very best in true alignment.

[00:07:46] Allyson Scammell: So please stay with us until the end. Welcome to Soul Guide Radio, a podcast for soul guided leaders, influencers, and entrepreneurs here to bring about change on a massive level. We’ll explore how you can activate your big soul mission, amplify your spiritual gifts, and clear the energy blocks weighing you down so you can gain unstoppable momentum in life and business.

[00:08:16] Allyson Scammell: I’m Allyson Scammell, your host and soul guide.

[00:08:25] Allyson Scammell: Hey there, Soul Guide Circle that is the name of this community of soul guided leaders, influencers, and entrepreneurs. In the Soul Guide circle, we have big soul missions, and we yearn to earn more, serve more, and grow spiritually along the way. If you aren’t already a member, then I invite you to join our Facebook group of nearly 2000 leaders and light workers who are in service to each other and the planet.

[00:08:51] Allyson Scammell: Find a link to join on my website,, or in the show notes. Today’s guest is Hillary DeCesare, and we’re talking alignment. Hillary DeCesare is an award-winning business expert, international bestselling author and host of the relaunch podcast. As a sought-after speaker, founder of the ReLaunch company and previously one of Oracle’s top account managers worldwide,

[00:09:21] Allyson Scammell: Hillary brings fresh energy to industry leaders, CEOs, and solo entrepreneurs. I truly enjoyed connecting to Hillary’s energy. Please enjoy.

[00:09:41] Allyson Scammell: Welcome Hillary to Soul Guide Radio.

[00:09:45] Hilary DeCesare: Well, Allyson it’s so fun to be here with you and all of your truth seekers. How fun for me this morning.

[00:09:52] Allyson Scammell: Oh, I’m really excited to unpack our topic for today with you. I think you and I talk about a lot of the same stuff, and I always find that it’s very magical when that happens is I feel like you’ve got a really amazing energy and I feel like there’s

[00:10:09] Allyson Scammell: synchronicities that could happen and we kind of fit in like a puzzle piece. And your gifts can really augment the stuff that I share with my listeners, and I love when that happens. So, I’m really excited to learn from you about some of the stuff you teach in the world. So, let’s go ahead and get right started.

[00:10:28] Allyson Scammell: I would love to learn, I’m gonna just start with the topic at hand here. We’re gonna be talking about the three HQ method. And my listeners know, I am just, I’m the lover of like a good five step process, or I like to take the most complex spiritual thing in the world and then boil it down to something really actionable and integrable and a five-step process.

[00:10:55] Allyson Scammell: So, I’m wondering if this is, you’re gonna do this for us today, and I’d love to know, what is, I’ll stop talking now. What is the three HQ method?

[00:11:04] Hilary DeCesare: Okay, so first off, I love that, and yes, I am all about the steps because three HQ came out of IQ of the sixties, seventies, and eighties, where we were all in our head, how intelligent, what are your problem-solving capabilities?

[00:11:24] Hilary DeCesare: And then it turned into, well wait a second. If you’re just all in your head and it’s all about intellect, can you be a good leader? Can you be a good entrepreneur? And EQ came to be. So, in the nineties it was all about how emotionally savvy are you? Can you read people? Can you be there as somebody that is, as you know, emotionally in tune with the others that are surrounding you?

[00:11:53] Hilary DeCesare: And then we move forward to 2013 and Sheryl Sandberg comes out with Lean In. And for those of you that read it, for those of you that tried to do it, I was one of those and it failed miserably. I have, you know, three kids, two step kids, and I was leaning in, leaning in, and I leaned in so hard that I got something.

[00:12:17] Hilary DeCesare: I got a job that I really, truly didn’t want. So that’s a different story. We can go into that later. But what happened from that is that I worked in Silicon Valley. I was there for 10 years. I was in corporate. I was doing my thing, and then I leaned into this whole concept of really going out there. And at that point, this was two decades ago, really thinking that I wanted to help

[00:12:46] Hilary DeCesare: coach, which it was called consulting at the time. I wanted to help people really get to the place where they are happy once they got there, that they weren’t just on this, hey I’ve got a goal and I’m gonna do everything I can to get to that goal. And when I’m there, I’m gonna be happy. Because what I ended up finding was through thousands of people that I’ve worked with that many times, they weren’t happy.

[00:13:14] Hilary DeCesare: So, I went on this whole quest of like, why is that and what it boiled down to after a hundred and hundred hundreds of interviews, hundreds of like coaching on this specific topic that I realize that there is a formula, as you said, love these formulas and it is called the three HQ and its head, heart, higher Self.

[00:13:39] Hilary DeCesare: We need to get out of our head, into our heart, into that why in order to actually reach our higher self and the way I define higher self is really that best version of you.

[00:13:52] Allyson Scammell: Hmm. Yes. You’re talking my language. Yes. Love it.

[00:13:58] Hilary DeCesare: So that’s how three HQ was born, and it’s truly evolved. And I had the privilege after my mom passed, Covid hit and everyone’s like, privilege, what’s going on?

[00:14:11] Hilary DeCesare: What’s she about to say? But really it was a privilege because I couldn’t do an eat pray love. I couldn’t just disappear. I couldn’t just go out into the wild and walk around. I was locked up in a high rise in San Francisco. Covid had hit and I was mourning, and I thought, how do I take this incredible method out to the world?

[00:14:35] Hilary DeCesare: How do I share this with more people? Cuz I know it works. I know that people have seen miraculous benefits from it. They’ve been able to manifest some of the things that they’ve like, you know, alluded to that they wanted, they wanted, but it just hadn’t happened. And so, I wrote it all down and I wrote a book.

[00:14:55] Hilary DeCesare: It’s called Relaunch, and in it I had to. When I’m working with somebody, I can take them through the process, and I can work with them. But when you’re writing a book, you have to, you have to simplify it. Like you said, it has to be about step by step, and so I was able to do that in the first part of the head.

[00:15:17] Hilary DeCesare: I’ve, I’ve narrowed down to the three areas that are the most significant. And Allyson can I, can I share those? Cuz I think that, that, that’s the crux of it all. That’s like where it all begins. And so, when you think about your thoughts, that’s. Part one. Part two is once you’ve realized the thoughts that are holding you back, the thoughts that you are creating, remember the one thing we have control over, which I have heard you say in your podcast.

[00:15:50] Hilary DeCesare: The one thing is that we have control over our thoughts. We don’t really have control over anything else, but we do. We do have the ability to make our choices and then our decisions. And so, once we come through the thought process, then we go into what I call bugs. Bugs are your beliefs, underground surfacing, and those are those limiting beliefs.

[00:16:15] Hilary DeCesare: And bugs can also be like, you know, an awesome bug that is an empowering bug like a ladybug and we also have queen bees, which are queen bugs, that roll us down into our deepest, darkest, limiting beliefs that always have to do with, you know, am I feeling like I’m loved? Am I feeling like I am worthy, and am I feeling like I’m safe?

[00:16:40] Hilary DeCesare: And I have a process. It’s a five-step process called the Belief Blaster. And then the last one is what everyone seems to be struggling with these days is that Midlife for those that are in it, for those that are trying to figure out if they’re in it. Midlife is now being represented from 35 to 55, so it’s a big broad space.

[00:17:03] Hilary DeCesare: People are going into it earlier. But here’s the thing, I don’t believe in midlife crises. I believe that it will be an identity crisis that you’re going through, and when you can figure it out, your identity of where you’re going, that’s when the magic happens. So those are the three elements of the head.

[00:17:25] Allyson Scammell: Mm. So, what we’re doing here is we’re placing awareness, what’s happening up there, being aware, and then we’re trying to, is it noticing the thoughts that are holding us back and maybe thwarting us or taking us out of alignment in our path. Those are the bugs?

[00:17:44] Hilary DeCesare: Those are the bugs. So, you’ve got your limiting beliefs, those beliefs underground.

[00:17:49] Hilary DeCesare: The limiting beliefs are when you have a thought and the thought is, you know, emotionally charged. And if that is repeated over time, you create the belief system. The belief can either be a positive, great belief that is serving you really well. Like, I’m a, you know, I’m a great communicator. I’m a great leader.

[00:18:10] Hilary DeCesare: I’m a great salesperson, I’m a great marketeer. Whatever it is, you start to identify like, yeah, you know, we all have them. That’s another thing. And then we look at the ones that are holding us back that, you know, the fears, the imposter syndromes, the ones that if we could eliminate, where would we be?

[00:18:33] Hilary DeCesare: So, for all the truth seekers, that’s such a great question to ask. Yeah. If you could eliminate your limiting belief? The one that is really your queen bee, your queen bug. What would that allow you to do, to become? I mean, it’s pretty powerful and that’s where you lead into, where do you really wanna be in 12 months?

[00:18:54] Hilary DeCesare: Like, I often look at, I don’t know when this is gonna be, you know, out there, but I look at quarters and we all know there’s seasons and we all have, you know, our favorite season. So, everyone think about your favorite season and why is that? Why do you love that one? Cause there’s a lot of symbolism in which season we love and for some it’s spring, it’s that birthing, you know, the birth of everything, newness. For, you know, others,

[00:19:21] Hilary DeCesare: it’s fall, it’s the shedding away. For others it’s, you know, winter and you’re going dormant and you’re really like going into that like, you know, cave of where you’re gonna come out. And then for some, it’s the summer, it’s the, you know, being frivolous, its having fun, its laughter, its beach, it’s family time.

[00:19:40] Hilary DeCesare: But we all have it. And what I like to do is say, what is your favorite time? And when you can find that, that is an amazing place, amazing time to think about where you wanna be in 12 months next year at that same time. And that’s when you can start to, as I said, no longer crisis. First off, we think about the word crisis.

[00:20:05] Hilary DeCesare: Crisis is just so awful, and we feel like, you know, there’s uncertainty behind it. So instead of Crisis instead of like, you know, ugh, I’ve got this, you know, big thing I’m dealing with. I feel so stuck. It’s like, let’s make it into a project, project. Like I’m working on this project of me and looking at it from that point and looking out into the future 12 months and creating, and all of a sudden, it’s fun to create, it’s fun to, you know, think of yourself as Michelangelo, and you’re like, crafting

[00:20:42] Hilary DeCesare: this out of stone, whatever you want. And that’s where we go with identity as

[00:20:47] Allyson Scammell: well. Mm, mm-hmm., I like that idea of when you do your visioning. I do a lot of coaching and teaching and training and study of visioning and soul guided visioning, and I’ve never thought about it in that way before, like go to that

[00:21:07] Allyson Scammell: because you know, I usually say, you know, I usually do like, okay, you got the 10-year vision and the five-year vision and the one-year vision. Right? But I really like how you, that idea of going to that time of year that just, you know, you’ve got that pep in your step. And 12 months from that time, like you’re going there into the future and what are you doing and what are you creating and who are you being?

[00:21:29] Allyson Scammell: That’s, that’s a pretty powerful little, not little, not so little nuance to take to the visioning process, which is very, very cool. Okay, so we’ve got the head and obviously we’re looking to belief bust or belief blast those beliefs that are not serving us and are taking us away from our truth and our authenticity and the work we really wanna do in the world.

[00:21:50] Allyson Scammell: So, let’s go to the heart. What happens with the heart?

[00:21:55] Hilary DeCesare: So, in the heart, once you have just, you know, again, the awareness, the realization, and you’re willing. You know those big reset buttons that have the big red on it, says reset. This is where I literally do, like you said, the visualization. It’s like slap that reset.

[00:22:14] Hilary DeCesare: Cause at this point what we’re trying to do is get out of the state we’ve been in, like just mix it up a bit. Like think of yourself as that snow globe and you’re just shaking it. You’re like, Okay, wherever those, you know, snow little flakeys are gonna fall. This is the time. So, where I mention this, I think one of the most interesting conversations I’ve had was with this man, and it was during a coaching session and he said, you know, Hillary, I really need help in selling my business.

[00:22:44] Hilary DeCesare: This is my time; this is what I’ve always wanted. I’m like so excited about this. And I said, Okay. Amazing. So how much do you wanna sell the business for? And what are you gonna do? Like, what’s that lofty goal that’s attached to selling the business? And he said, Oh my God. Okay, I’m gonna rent a boat and I’m gonna sail around the world.

[00:23:06] Hilary DeCesare: And the next question was probably, and you know intuitively I knew I needed to ask it. I said, Oh, you’re an avid sailor. You love to sail. And he said, no, actually I don’t really like the water. And I started laughing. I’m like, Okay, so why are you thinking that the sale of your business means getting out on a, you know, beautiful boat and sailing around the world?

[00:23:35] Hilary DeCesare: And he is like, That’s so fascinating. And he said, well, it probably has to do with one of my dad’s friends when I was young. He came over, he sold his business for, you know, millions and millions of dollars, and then he did it. I said, Oh it’s his story. Yeah. His dream story. Yeah. Not your story. And I said, so if you had never met him, you had never heard that he did that, what would you wanna do?

[00:24:03] Hilary DeCesare: And we walk through this, and I call it for men, the wise wizard. I call it for women, the wise woman. And what is it? It’s the, when you have, and this I think is what’s missing in a lot of goal settings. As you said, I do the three and the 10, and you know, I think it’s so important. I just think that at some point you have to get super clear, but here’s the problem.

[00:24:31] Hilary DeCesare: You’re getting clear on the objective, on the result, and not necessarily on how you will feel, embrace and everyone, you know, the be, how you will be once that happens? And so, what I do is I take, like, let’s say I’m taking you, so I would say let’s bring the wise woman out. And the wise woman is Oh, so wise.

[00:24:57] Hilary DeCesare: And you start, I start to say, Okay, so what is your end result that you’re trying to do in any area? Right? It can go, you can use the wise woman at any point, and I’ll tell you a really quick story behind the wise woman that I go up to my summer cabin that we’ve had in our family for almost 90 years.

[00:25:17] Hilary DeCesare: Crazy. Crazy. Lots of incredible memories that I’ve had since I learned how to walk up there. And you know, every year I’ve taken my children and everything. So, we were up there this weekend and there is a mountain that looks like an old man and it’s the side profile. And so, I used to say to my mom, Ina, you know, Well wait a second.

[00:25:38] Hilary DeCesare: There’s the, the old man of the mountain has so much wisdom, but where’s the wise woman? and she would say, oh, the wise woman is right behind because isn’t the woman always behind the man? So, I laugh about that, but now I’m actually using it as the wise woman. And so, what I would do is I would say, Okay, so this is great.

[00:25:55] Hilary DeCesare: This is what your end result, this is what your objective is, but okay, why? And somebody would say, well, you know, I, you know, when I have that amount, let’s just say it’s, you know, selling your business. When I sell the business, then I’ll be able to do all the things that I’ve wanted to do. And then I’ll say, Well, why?

[00:26:14] Hilary DeCesare: Like, why do you wanna do that? And we take it and, you know, there’s some people that say, take it three steps, take it three why’s take it five, seven. I find that until you finally hit rock bottom, until you’re like, oh, you have that epiphany of like, oh my God, that’s why I’m doing it. That’s when you know you’ve hit your why.

[00:26:36] Hilary DeCesare: So why is the first part of the heart and then the next one is, um, for I’ve calculated that I have been through. Somebody asked me on a show the other day, you know, how many, how many relaunches have you been, and relaunches are setbacks. Relaunches are anything that came up that were transitions in your life.

[00:26:56] Hilary DeCesare: Health, transitions, divorces, Empty nester, just like all of the major. Losing my mom, losing my dad just recently, and I came up with 36 of these. 36. And I started thinking back on how I handled them. And there were times where you’ve heard gurus out on the big stages saying, you know, love yourself, love your life, love your business.

[00:27:19] Hilary DeCesare: Love, love, love, love, love. And I’m a proponent of love. There’s nobody out there who doesn’t love, love more than me. But there were times that I didn’t even like, in fact, I was in very deep self-sabotage. I was in like, ugh, I don’t even like anything about my life. And so, what I ask people to do is stop trying to cross that chasm.

[00:27:41] Hilary DeCesare: Stop trying to jump from where you are to love. So I go, Let’s do like to love. And part two of the heart is go like first, do that like thing. Like things before you can love them. And then the last part of it is really going back to the belief blaster that you have these emotions, and you have these blocks, and you have these stories that you’re telling yourself and you have these situational things that you, when you remember, Kind of what they did to you, where they came from, then it can literally release you.

[00:28:19] Hilary DeCesare: So, there’s a part of the belief blast that goes into your emotions as well. Mm,

[00:28:25] Allyson Scammell: Yeah. When I do my soul guided visioning, it’s very similar in that I tell people it doesn’t really matter what you see in the one year, three year, five years, so much important is what you feel. What is your core valued feeling?

[00:28:41] Allyson Scammell: I’ve taken people through soul guided visioning. I’ve done it like three times in a week, like a five-year visioning exercise, and in the first vision there in a ski chalet and the second vision, they’re on the beach. And then third vision, they’re in the house that they live in currently, but their core value feeling states are the same in each.

[00:29:00] Allyson Scammell: So, it’s really those emotions, you know, those emotions that we desire to feel at the heart level. You know that joy, that creativity, that service, that contribution, whatever it is, that’s gonna be the thing that’s gonna show up in your dreams. And the thing to ideally drive you. And ideally, how do you get those emotions in the current moment, right?

[00:29:23] Allyson Scammell: Like, how can you start? If you’re someone who’s really driven by feelings of harmony, for example, how can you start calling Harmony into your current life, your current business? So, I love how you frame that because that’s really, it really is not the objective that is gonna bring the lasting joy. It’s really those,

[00:29:42] Allyson Scammell: I mean, and, and I look at them really as kind of, yeah, like heart-based feelings, where it’s not that, I call it the ego spike, where you think, oh, if I just get enough money to afford the Chanel handbag, then I’ll be happy. And then you go out and buy the Chanel handbag and then you’re like, oh, you know, you get home and you’re like really happy and you’re, I got this handbag.

[00:30:02] Allyson Scammell: And then it’s like, oh, you know that crash down. And I think what you’re talking about is going beyond that sort of up and down cycle to that lasting joy that comes from the heart, comes from being in alignment.

[00:30:17] Hilary DeCesare: Ego spike is so

[00:30:18] Allyson Scammell: good. Yeah, right. The ego spike.

[00:30:21] Hilary DeCesare: We’ve all had it. That is so good. No, I, you said at the beginning that you and I are, you know, probably somehow related soul sisters.

[00:30:31] Hilary DeCesare: I mean, I gotta say cuz everything you say, I’m like, Oh, that’s so good. Yes, I’m totally, I agree with you. And the ego spike, yeah, you get something and then all of a sudden, you know, it’s on the shelf in a week, you know, Or I always talk about, I had a bottle of champagne where I was given it, it was a bottle of dom.

[00:30:49] Hilary DeCesare: It was, you know, oh my God, I have a bottle of Dom and I put it on my shelf at the office. And I said to my team, I said, ah, we’re gonna pop this when we get to this revenue. All of a sudden, we did, and I looked at them and I said, You know, first off, I thought the one bottle’s gonna give ’em about a sip each.

[00:31:10] Hilary DeCesare: Yeah, right,

[00:31:11] Allyson Scammell: Right.

[00:31:11] Hilary DeCesare: Then I said, I said, you know, I think we can even do more and let’s, and you know what, When I finally left Oracle after almost, almost 10 years, The bottle was still there. Mm. You, and it goes to that, that, you know, sometimes we again put these things out and then we don’t celebrate. Yeah.

[00:31:33] Hilary DeCesare: And then we don’t, you know, acknowledge it and we think, Oh yeah. Yeah. Okay. Well now that I’m here, now that I’ve hit this, you know, there was a great, oh gosh, what was it? It was on Clubhouse and this guy said, and I wish I could remember his name was Rob something. And he was on, John Lee’s on one of his, one of his clubhouse events.

[00:31:54] Hilary DeCesare: And he said, I finally decided that this last year I was gonna do a hundred goals for the year. And I’m like, Man, that’s a lot of goals. And he said, and here’s the thing, I hit 77 of them. Geez. Pretty good. And there was this pause and he said, And guess what? I’m not disappointed that I didn’t hit a hundred.

[00:32:20] Hilary DeCesare: I’m so fired up that I hit 77. Oh, that’s cool. And I thought, you know, that’s a really great way to look at it because so many times I call these, you know, goals. I call them scazy, scazy goals. It’s like planet scazy. And it’s scary and crazy. And it was a word that I taught my kids when they were young. And of course, the poor,

[00:32:41] Hilary DeCesare: the poor kids grew up thinking, there’s actually a word in the dictionary called scazy and so scary and crazy. And you know, how many of these can you really accomplish? And what I always tell people is, are you gonna be bummed? You know, we always are like, you know, go for the bullseye, go for the bullseye. But really, if you were to land anywhere on planet scazy You’d be pretty excited.

[00:33:04] Hilary DeCesare: So, if you were gonna like take your rocket to the moon, Are you gonna be really bummed if you don’t land on that one little spot? Or if you land, you know, really far up north or east or west or south or whatever, no, you’re just excited to be there. And I think that the point of it is don’t get so attached on that specific pinpoint, look at it from a much bigger like, hey

[00:33:28] Hilary DeCesare: get there, get there in wherever you know, the universe is gonna take you, understand where you are today, and understand where you are and where you wanna be. And that’s where three HQ becomes almost like it is your compass. It just keeps you in alignment and you made, you made this great comment about the gratitude and kind of getting to that joyous state.

[00:33:53] Hilary DeCesare: Mm-hmm., and that’s really the three hq. That’s that higher self. Higher self encompasses gratitude, it encompasses purpose, it encompasses the most important thing, which I think is your energy and everything falls around that piece of it. And I think when you look at the 12 universal laws, and I always find it interesting when I hear people describing ’em and they, they start with the law of oneness and it’s like, Whoa, that’s a big one.

[00:34:26] Hilary DeCesare: I’m not sure that I’d probably lead into the oneness because that whole idea that we’re all energy, we’re all one, but eventually you get there, and you can using this three HQ and the last piece is that intuition is in the middle of three hq. And when you can get outta your head and you start to have that knowing in your head, then you can start to understand that there’s also a feeling that can come through your body, which is the heart.

[00:34:58] Hilary DeCesare: And then there’s that sense, which is that higher self that you just had, you know, I just, I just knew it’s like, it’s sense. It’s through me and it really, when you can start to leverage three HQ in your daily life and you can start to understand that, you know, you have that ability to ride your waves, ride the waves of momentum.

[00:35:26] Hilary DeCesare: Momentum breeds momentum. But there’s also a point that you need to relax. You can’t go, go, go, Woo, I’m riding that big wave. You know, eventually the wave crashes onto the sand and when it crashes, even though it was the biggest, greatest wave, or if yours is kind of flat right now and it’s just going up on the sand and there’s not even a ripple.

[00:35:49] Hilary DeCesare: Then, as I said with the seasons, this is your chance and we’re so, you know, we’re taught so much to go, go, go, go. It has to be this like, you know, time, time, time is ticking time, you know, Or there’s that. I’ve got no time. I’ve got no time, times slipping by, all these different, you know, time. That’s also how you’re viewing time, and that’s a limiting belief and that’s a bug in itself.

[00:36:16] Hilary DeCesare: So, this goes into a whole other,

[00:36:20] Allyson Scammell: interesting. Do you Hilary, track much about human design? I do. I

[00:36:27] Hilary DeCesare: love, Allyson, I love

[00:36:29] Allyson Scammell: all of that. Yeah. Me too. Big L, right. And I decided, I am not a human design consultant, but I am getting certified in human design because I feel like I’m just understanding myself so much deeper.

[00:36:41] Allyson Scammell: My kids, my husband, my clients, I’m really kind of doing it for me and it’s just a blast. And one of the things that I’ve learned in my studies of human design is that I am a projector, and I am designed, my specific design and not all projectors are this way, but my specific design, I am designed for boom-and-bust cycles.

[00:37:05] Allyson Scammell: So, I am designed to have periods of time where the money’s just flowing and it’s falling off the trees, and then it gets lean because I’m going in a big rest cycle. And Sure, okay, maybe someday I’m gonna have all sorts of passive sources of incomes buzzing and it’s just still gonna be coming in. But until then, it’s a lean period like bust, you know, air quotes bust.

[00:37:28] Allyson Scammell: Yeah. And it’s okay. Like I, I’ve designed for it to be that way. And so, before I’ve kind of had this realization, I would go through, I would, I was experiencing this, just not knowing that I’m designed for it to be this way, and I would get through the bust and I’d be like, Huh, huh. You know, like, I just like whatever.

[00:37:48] Allyson Scammell: Last quarter it was just like, you know, clients falling outta the sky and now it’s like, Huh. And it’s just interesting, like having this realization that I am designed for this, it kind of gives you a permission that it’s okay to have bust cycles and maybe bust isn’t the right word because it’s got all these negative connotations where, but it really means just low times, like rest cycles where you’re not creating a bunch of content and launching a bunch of new offerings is just you’re in rest cycle.

[00:38:18] Allyson Scammell: And now I’ve designed my whole business around this cycle. (inaudible) Yeah, so good. And it’s so good. And I really feel like it’s because I was able to do this process, you’re talking about aligning head, heart, higher self, and I think the old Allyson would’ve been like, oh, there can never be a bust cycle.

[00:38:39] Allyson Scammell: That’s, you know, that’s not success, but you realize that you can redefine, you know, you get to decide what success is and you get to decide what works for you. And now I’m kind of like, when I’m in a, you know, air quotes bust cycle, I’m just like, I don’t know. I just get this joy, I’m in this joy because I don’t know if you felt this in your business, Hillary, but I kind of feel like I’m in the point of my business that even when it’s bad, it’s good.

[00:39:05] Allyson Scammell: And I mean that bad air quote. True. Right? And I think that’s the true, that’s the true marker of success in business. Whether the clients are falling outta the sky or not, you’re loving what you

[00:39:17] Hilary DeCesare: do. And I love what I do. Yes. And I wanna, I wanna say, you know, when you look at three hq, in fact I’ve, you know, never actually described this.

[00:39:27] Hilary DeCesare: It is an ever loop. And it’s a like two figure eights going into each other. So, imagine you’re on a racetrack, right? You don’t, you don’t gun it going into the corners. You slow down. And then you gun it as you’re going on the the straightaway. And that’s what you just said so eloquently.

[00:39:52] Hilary DeCesare: It’s that that’s what we need to understand, that we’re not all high octane can go, go, go all the time. We all need to recharge. And that was so like, God, it’s like, yes, we do. And giving yourself, and actually when you lean into letting yourself do that,

[00:40:14] Allyson Scammell: That’s when you’re, you’re

[00:40:16] Hilary DeCesare: leaning out to like, everything that’s possible.

[00:40:20] Hilary DeCesare: I call it the manifestation magnet. That’s when things start to really, really, but you have to say, Okay, I’m gonna trust this theory. Yeah, I’m gonna, I’m gonna give myself a couple weeks off. I’m gonna, I’m gonna not take on, you know, any new clients during, you know, we, we took off and finally went to Africa in July with all, all, you know, all the kids.

[00:40:42] Hilary DeCesare: It was this time, and I thought to myself, you know, oh gosh, you know, I’m leaning into the fall and I gotta get da da da. And I finally, I’m like, this is my time. This is exactly, It’s that down time. Yeah. And I started, and you’ll appreciate this. The first couple days I’m like, oh, I’m gonna do a lot of social media.

[00:41:03] Hilary DeCesare: I’m gonna, like trace my whole vacation and like, you know, put it all out there. And by day two I’m like, Wait, there’s like urgency around that. I don’t want that. Yeah, right. And I

[00:41:16] Allyson Scammell: stopped.

[00:41:17] Hilary DeCesare: I stopped it, and it was great.

[00:41:19] Allyson Scammell: That’s so good. That’s so good. So, Hillary, this has been really amazing, and I know that the listeners of this podcast are, you know, they’re, this is, you know, this is how they wanna live and they, this is a group of folks who want to be out of their head.

[00:41:36] Allyson Scammell: I always say, go out of your mind. Right. Let’s all go out of our mind and go straight to the heart and that’s where we like. I love that. Yes,

[00:41:44] Hilary DeCesare: Yes, yes,

[00:41:45] Allyson Scammell: yes. And so, I would love for you to leave our listeners with an invitation, so that’s inviting them to do something or be someone or wherever you wish to invite them to go.

[00:41:59] Hilary DeCesare: Love this. Okay? So, remember, higher yourself. I talked about energy. We have the ability in the morning before we get outta bed to do an assessment on where’s your energy. And I always say, I make this super easy. I say one to 10, 10 is like, today’s the day I’m riding that wave. And then one is just like, Oh my gosh.

[00:42:20] Hilary DeCesare: And remember, there’s a lot of reasons that you wake up between one and 10. You can’t go into that right now. But what I want you to be doing is Thinking about where are you, What number, and give yourself a number. So just think about, you know, this morning, where were you? And then I want you to think about when you are working at your highest level,

[00:42:41] Hilary DeCesare: you’re creating, you’re working in your, what I call the G zone. Your great zone, your growth zone, your gratitude zone. What number is that? And once you decide where you need to be, especially if you are, you know, working with the circadian rhythm of yourself and where you are the most productive, where you, you then have the ability to elevate yourself with energy before you get out of bed.

[00:43:09] Hilary DeCesare: Right, because sometimes we get out and then we hit our toe and then we don’t have any coffee, and then we, la, la, la, la, la. And then you look at your email and of course, this person, and you’ve already set yourself on that spiral. But if you start with that intention of, I’m elevating my energy right now and we all can like close our eyes and like put in that thought of like a great memory that will just elevate.

[00:43:34] Hilary DeCesare: You can’t have a negative thought and a positive thought at the same time, so let’s increase the energy and start your day, especially when you know that you’re giving, you’re serving the people that you’re working with. They deserve for you to show up that way, and then you keep going back to that throughout the day.

[00:43:54] Hilary DeCesare: Where’s my energy? Oh God, I’m at a two. Then don’t create, don’t put out that low energy vibe because the vibration will attract the vibration you’re putting out. Yes.

[00:44:08] Allyson Scammell: Oh, what a brilliant invitation. I love it. Simple and profound. And, you know, getting back to human design, you know, they say it’s, it’s a good idea to start tracking this very question.

[00:44:21] Allyson Scammell: So, if you did this every day for a month, you could, I suspect Hillary, you’ll start to see natural cycles, right? Your natural cycle where you’re at a high 10, and then your cycles where you’re in a two, and then you can start designing your workflow around your tens and your twos. Can I, Can

[00:44:40] Hilary DeCesare: I just say one other thing that I have people do?

[00:44:42] Hilary DeCesare: Yes. Is put a circle together. Yeah. And list out how many days, you know, around the edge of the circle. Okay. And then you’re literally going to put a dot, cuz what you’re gonna eventually do is, as you just said, draw the like, dot to dot, connect the dots, and then you literally can see. That, Oh my gosh.

[00:45:01] Hilary DeCesare: There was this time and, and then when you, you know, whatever you focus on grows, whatever you focus on grows. Yeah. So, you can start to see how you are increasing, how you are starting to, you know, put these, dot to dots. It’s just, it’s incredible after one month. Yeah.

[00:45:19] Allyson Scammell: Yeah, yeah. Yeah. And I’m glad you said that because I, gosh, it was like several years ago when I first stumbled upon human design.

[00:45:28] Allyson Scammell: Somebody told me that I should do this, and it will help me understand my type and my energy. And I was like, Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then I never really did it. So good., I was

[00:45:38] Hilary DeCesare: so glad. My challenge to you, Allyson,

[00:45:41] Allyson Scammell: this is my chance. No, I’m super excited. I’m highly, highly motivated to do this starting tomorrow morning.

[00:45:48] Allyson Scammell: So, listeners, please. This invitation is for you, and I love it, and I’ve loved this conversation. So, Hillary, I know our listeners are gonna wanna learn more about you and learn more about how they can integrate the three HQ method into their life and business. So, tell our listeners how can they connect with you?

[00:46:07] Allyson Scammell: Hmm.

[00:46:07] Hilary DeCesare: Thank you, Allyson. And it’s really the easiest is just going to the, our website. And again, that’s the You have the opportunity to book a roadmap call where I kind of get you going with the three hq. Also, you can see where you can. You can go to Amazon and get the book relaunch.

[00:46:30] Hilary DeCesare: Hillary DeCesare: spark your Heart to Ignite Your Life.

[00:46:35] Allyson Scammell: Beautiful and all of those links will be in the show notes. Hillary, thanks again. Really appreciate you taking the time to share your wisdom on Soul Guide

[00:46:43] Hilary DeCesare: Radio. Thanks again Allyson.

[00:46:55] Allyson Scammell: And I wanna thank you dear one for tuning in and sharing this time with me. If you feel so called and so inspired, we’d be so grateful for a rating and review, and it really is how more people can find this and receive from this podcast. There is a link to leave a review in the show notes. And I will read your amazing words on the air.

[00:47:16] Allyson Scammell: And as always, until next time, may your soul guide the way. Are you ready to fill your business with soul clients in the next 60 days? Then download my free energy upgrade meditation to amp up your energy frequency, dissolve the doubt, and attract the soul clients you are destined to serve. Find a link to download on my website,, as well as in the show notes.