Ghosted 1,000 Times

[00:00:00] Hello, dear ones I’m so passionate about. Today’s episode, where we’ll be talking about how I’ve been ghosted a thousand times. I’m sure I haven’t counted, but I bet you it’s right around the four figure mark. And how I wear that as a badge of honor. How that doesn’t get me down. Well, first of all, I’ll tell you exactly what I mean by that.

[00:00:27] How and why it doesn’t get me down and why I’m actually really proud of it and why you should Set yourself up to be proud of yourself in a similar way and in Doing that and having this reframe And setting yourself and your business up to be in this mindset will actually unlock the door to your next layer and level of wealth and abundance and prosperity.

[00:01:06] But before I get into all that, I would love to read a listener review. It comes from Babs162427. And she gives me five stars. And she’s talking about an episode I did a few months ago about finding comfort inside the discomfort. So she says, just listen to the episode on discomfort. It was just what I needed to hear after a couple days frozen.

[00:01:36] And what I know was more discomfort. It really helped me to start to unpack some of my blocks around feeling successful, joyful, which was another great episode. And get more tools. The podcast and starting to work with Allyson, yay, has been a much needed resource while stepping out of my comfort zone with starting my own business.

[00:01:59] Thank you. Well, you are so welcome Babs162427. I am so grateful for you. I am so appreciative of this podcast review and I cannot wait to start helping you unlock massive. Transformation in your life and business. So why don’t we go ahead and get to how we can do that for you, the listener, in today’s episode.

[00:02:25] I reveal why I’m so proud that I’ve been ghosted around a thousand times. What it takes to truly be successful in today’s market and how to set yourself up for that success. We’ll end on an invitation that will have you growing the thick skin you need in business so that the things that don’t matter, don’t matter.

[00:02:50] No longer bother you and you can focus on the things that bring you real and lasting revenue and prosperity. So please stay with me until the end. Welcome to soul guide radio, a podcast for soul guided leaders, influencers, and entrepreneurs. Here to bring about change on a massive level, we’ll explore how you can activate your big soul mission, amplify your spiritual gifts, and clear the energy blocks weighing you down so you can gain unstoppable momentum in life and business.

[00:03:29] I’m Allyson Scammell, your host and soul guide.

[00:03:37] Hello, soul guide circle. That is the name of this global and growing community of soul guided leaders and entrepreneurs. In the Soul Guide Circle, we are using our spiritual gifts to grow prosperous heart led businesses that are on the leading edge of consciousness. Find a link to join our closed Facebook group at allysonscammell.com

[00:03:58] or in the show notes. Today we’re talking about being ghosted in business. So this slang expression to get ghosted means that You send a message, you call, you reach out to someone and they don’t respond. They don’t tell you, I don’t like you, I don’t want you, I pass. They just don’t respond. You hear crickets, you’ve been ghosted.

[00:04:28] There’s nothing there but a ghost, which is just this thing that you can’t see. It’s actually a great metaphor, really. It’s a metaphor. Because a ghost is something that’s there. A ghost is really a crossed over soul in most instances. So it’s there, it’s energy, but you can’t always see it and you can’t always hear it, but you can sense it, right?

[00:04:53] So when I reach out to you, And I say, Hey, I have this great program that I think you could benefit from. Do you want to hear about it? And you don’t respond because maybe you’re not interested. You’re busy. I think a lot of times potential clients don’t respond to us because they’re interested, but they know not now, like now isn’t the right time.

[00:05:18] So if they do respond, they’re giving you a false hope that maybe they are Interested and will will make, will buy what you’re selling. So instead of explaining that, a lot of clients will just not respond because they don’t wanna give you the false hope that they’re going to invest in what you’re offering.

[00:05:39] But here’s why. Using the ghost as the metaphor for all this is so good because the energy is there. When I reach out to you in an email, let’s say, and say, Hey, I’ve got this thing. Do you wanna hear about it? And you don’t respond. I’ve still created energetic momentum. I’ve put it out there. So the energy is there like the ghost.

[00:06:01] But nothing is physically manifesting in our physical reality. You’re not responding. So there’s no physical email back. But what we have to understand is we have still created the energetic momentum. And it doesn’t matter. If the person to whom we’re writing the email responds or not because we’re putting it out there.

[00:06:29] We’re creating energetic momentum behind the offer. Hey, I have this thing. Or I have this free gift that I think you’d benefit from. Would you like it? Or here it is attached. It’s getting yourself out there, creating energetic momentum. So important in business. And then from a pure business perspective, it’s so important because you can see what your, what people are responding to.

[00:07:03] Sometimes we never, ever know if a message, an offer, an idea, a freebie. Is a good one and will land and still and I mean, what am I saying? I’m saying sometimes we’ll never know a hundred percent of the time. We’ll never truly know If something that we have to offer a potential client is one that’s gonna land for them or not Until we offer it to them And if we offer something out there and we’re not getting any sort of response back, we’re feeling ghosted, then something wants to shift, something wants to tweak and refine, but you need to give yourself credit for doing it because you created the energetic momentum.

[00:07:47] And that is valuable, that is needed, that is important, that is the first step into getting real business results coming back to you. So if you hadn’t sent all those emails or posted all those social feeds that didn’t get much response, then you wouldn’t have made the energetic momentum, you would be farther behind in the process, you wouldn’t have any sort of feedback.

[00:08:15] And so, the reason why I’m so proud that I have, listen guys, listen to me. I think, like I feel in my bones, I’ve probably been ghosted a thousand times from potential clients. And I don’t mean, You know, I have a lot of people on my mailing list and I’m not talking about blasts out to my email list. I am talking about one on one emails.

[00:08:45] Direct communication to a potential client by me. Me putting the effort in to think about this person, tailor my message, and sending it out. I’m sure I’ve been ghosted about a thousand times in business. Why? Why? It’s not because my offers are bad or my messages are bad. It’s because I’ve done it so many times.

[00:09:09] I’ve done it so many times. Anybody who I think is a fit for one of my offers and I see them clicking and I see them engaging. It’s highly likely you’re going to receive a personal email from me. Why? Because you’re showing interest in one of my offers. And because if I feel and if I sense that you’re a good fit and you could really benefit from my offer, I am going to send you a personal email or a DM on social media and say, Hey, I noticed you were interested in this offer.

[00:09:49] Do you want to hear more? Do you have any questions? Do you want to hop on the phone? And sometimes if it’s really early in the relationship, I’ll just give more freebies because I’m trying to establish that no love trust factor. And when I say no, I don’t mean no love. Normally it’s called the no like trust factor.

[00:10:11] And by no, it’s K N O W, getting to know me. And I want to create a love relationship between us. So it’s a no love. Actually, I should put the love first. Love, no, trust. Oh, I don’t even like that. Let’s put the trust and love first. So it’s a love, trust, no. Oh, I like that. So I’m trying to create a love. trust, no relationship between the two of us.

[00:10:39] So if I can see from my CRM that we are on the beginning of our journey together, I probably won’t ask you to get on a phone call because that’s rushing the relationship a little too much. Although, you know, I’ll use my intuition. And if my intuition says a phone call is in order, I’ll follow that. But likely my intuition will say, just give them another free gift so that you can really develop that love, trust, know factor.

[00:11:09] And so they can really start to trust you. In today’s saturated market of cold pitches and offers all the time, saturation, that doesn’t work. Trust factor is really going to become the coin of the realm. I think we’ve all invested in a coaching offer or some sort of offer where we were burned and the offer didn’t deliver on its promises.

[00:11:39] And so it has created this distrust in all these promises we hear all the time. Like every offer is the silver bullet that’s going to solve all of your problems. And so a lot of us have a healthy distrust for all the offers coming at us. So if you can start to really be and step into the next level of your integrity, your truth, and really start to create.

[00:12:07] Lasting relationships with your potential clients based on love, trust, and knowing, really knowing each other, you’re going to start to see some really juicy, energetic momentum. happening in your business. So that brings us nicely to what it takes to truly be successful in today’s market. And I think this has always been true, but I feel like it’s becoming even more important and that is to develop a thick skin so you can get ghosted a thousand times and not let it derail your efforts.

[00:12:49] May have you making it mean you’re a failure. You’re doing it all wrong. You’re not meant to be in business. And listen, listen, this is really important. I’m not saying that we should all set our businesses up so that we have to send a thousand emails out that nobody responds to before we can be successful.

[00:13:10] I’m not saying that at all. What I am saying is that what it takes to truly be successful in today’s market is Knowing that some client relationships take many, many, many touches before they get to yes. Your potential clients are going to need many touches from you. Some of them, not all of them, before they get to yes, and when you touch them, so email them, you know, post stuff on social media, all the things they consume from you, many of those touches are going to go unresponded, even if that person loves you and thinks you’re amazing.

[00:13:54] There, nobody’s going to respond to everything. We don’t expect people to respond to everything. If everybody in my audience responded to everything I put out there, I would be completely overwhelmed, right? But it’s about knowing that you’re in the energy of, the mindset of, I’m in this for the long haul, I’m going to do as many touches as it takes to a potential client, I understand many of my.

[00:14:24] Messages that I put out there are going to go unresponded, and I’m not going to let those non responded messages, those ghosted messages, mean anything negative about me. What I’m going to do instead is use it as feedback. Feedback. Okay? It’s feedback to know whether or not your offer is landing or not.

[00:14:53] And a very important part of that is sometimes I have had an offer or let’s say an aspect to a sales launch. That I’ve put out there that I thought, Oh, this is going to go so well. Oh, this is such a good idea. I’m so proud of this idea. I know everybody’s going to respond to it. And I put it out there and it got a very, very small response.

[00:15:17] And because it got that small response, only a few people nibbled on it. I was like, Oh, okay, well that was a failure. But then I sort of see the whole thing through to the end. And then I noticed like those. Three to four people who nibbled all signed up for a high end offer from me. And before I know it, actually, my little idea was a really good one.

[00:15:41] And in my brain, I was thinking, Oh, well, I need to get a hundred people clicking on this in order for it to be a good idea. I only had five people clicking, but it was the five right people who ended up I’m enrolling into one of my high end offers, and it ended up being just the right thing to put out there.

[00:16:05] So feedback doesn’t need to be hundreds, thousands, tens of thousands, depending on how big your business is, of responses. It just needs to be one or two or a half a dozen or, you know, ten or twenty, depending on what you’re putting out, of really high quality leads, high quality potential clients. That’s the feedback you’re looking for.

[00:16:29] It’s not quantity, it’s quality feedback. And I think sometimes, I mean, I think almost all the time we have put something out there. We haven’t gotten the number that we think we should have. And then instead of really looking in there and seeing what juicy feedback is available to us, we’ve labeled the whole thing a failure or it didn’t work.

[00:16:53] And we put it in the bin and then maybe moved on to the next thing or made it to mean that we’re some sort of failure. And that’s not true at all. It’s just feedback and we’re looking for the qualitative feedback that’s coming back, which is more important than the quantitative quantitative is also important.

[00:17:19] And as you grow and scale your business, you know, if you hire a real like nuts and bolts business coach, they’re going to really want you to get into the numbers and what are the numbers. And I think eventually as your business grows bigger and bigger, numbers get more and more important. And I will be the first to say it.

[00:17:38] I’m at the point in my business where numbers are important. And if I can track numbers, it really helps me in my business. And sometimes I’m not really good at tracking numbers. I’m really good at CRM. So I’m really, really good at following up with clients and sending personal messages and adding that personal touch.

[00:17:57] I’m less good at calculating numbers and clicks and, you know, that kind of stuff is not really my zone of genius. But that said, as my business grows, I’m realizing the more I track that, Or maybe eventually that’s something that I hire someone to track for me. It just benefits me. So yeah, I don’t have to track it.

[00:18:24] But if I do, it helps me to set myself up for greater success. And it really helps me to know where to invest dollars into my business to get the biggest return. So it’s a wise thing to do, even though I don’t love to do it. If you are on the newer side of your journey, I wouldn’t forget numbers altogether.

[00:18:51] Forget the quantitative side of your business. But I would really focus on the quality of your responses, and that’s going to really give you the feedback you need to know whether something you’re putting out there is landing or not. So what does it take to be successful in today’s market? And that is that perseverance.

[00:19:15] That comes from sending message after message, showing up day after day, and really being thick skinned when we get ghosted, when they don’t respond. We just, you know, do any healing that needs to happen. Hey, listen, I’ve been ghosted a thousand times, but like, It still can hurt, you know, if it’s someone who said that they were going to sign up for a program and, you know, we’ve been in a lot of dialogue and I feel this love connection with them and then all of a sudden at the 11th hour, right after they said they were going to sign up for the offer and then I don’t hear from them.

[00:19:54] That hurts, you know, that hurts. I’m a human being. And that really stings. So I immediately go into what did I make that mean for me? Because she obviously felt at the 11th hour, she just couldn’t sign up for the offer. And for whatever reason, She couldn’t send me an email to explain what was going on, and at the end of the day, nobody owes me an explanation.

[00:20:18] It’s a nice thing to do, but it’s not a necessary thing to do. But, so, what am I making her actions mean for me? That’s really how you want to ask the question, because usually it goes beyond, well, oh, she, She said she would and didn’t, and that’s frustrating. Usually, yes, okay, that’s frustrating, but usually there’s something deeper going on.

[00:20:43] Something like, if she really saw the worth in this, she would have enrolled. Therefore, I’m not creating value. Therefore, I must be unworthy. Like, try to go in a few layers deep to really uncover what’s really going on. You know, feel the feels that are there. Breathe release. And then you want to really go into what feedback is here for me.

[00:21:06] What feedback is here? Like I’m putting stuff out there and being gone, like I’m getting ghosted. What wants to tweak and refine? Or I’m putting stuff out there and I got one quality response. What did that one quality person say? That I can really use as feedback to gain more connections such as this.

[00:21:28] And if you want to really set yourself up so that you are in this energy of persevering, getting stuff out there, I highly recommend considering if you’ve already got a pretty sophisticated system, Gold Star for you, how can you uplevel your client relationship? management system. And if you’re on the newer side, you want to ask, how can I create a CRM?

[00:21:58] And it’s some sort of system that tracks your relationship to each and every potential client in your community, on your mailing list. You, you guys know, if you’ve listened to me for a long time, I’m a huge believer in emails. And email marketing and having a mailing list, because at the end of the day, I know there’s TikTok and everything is taking off and I’m all for exploring social media and what’s out there.

[00:22:29] But at the end of the day, social media platforms could be gone tomorrow. And certainly as we’ve seen, they change algorithms overnight. They don’t consult you. They don’t care if it negatively impacts your business. They just do it. A mailing list is yours. It’s your property. You own it. Now, yes, emails, it’s getting more and more and more that emails are going into spam, but there’s things that you can do to get the emails out of the spam folder.

[00:23:00] And at the end of the day, you can always send direct messages from your email account to their email account. And it’s highly likely that person, if they’ve opted into your community, is going to receive that message, and there’s going to be a connection made by email. Marketing is still far and away getting the highest conversion rates over social media.

[00:23:27] It’s many, many, many times more effective. For getting people to say yes to clicking into getting on the phone with you or buying an offer than social media. I also believe social media is important and helpful, but it, for me, it just augments. The relationship that I’m creating between you and me on my email list.

[00:23:52] That’s how I look at it. It’s an augmentation. So if you don’t have a mailing list, I really, really recommend that you think about getting one started. Start with something free. I know that ConvertKit offers a low cost or even a free membership or option to get started with them. I know people say good things about flow desk, which is inexpensive.

[00:24:21] MailChimp used to have a pretty good free option. I don’t know how good that is anymore, but do some research into the best free to low cost. CRM platforms and email mailing list platforms and start to use that to. I’m going to track the relationships that you have between yourself and your potential clients.

[00:24:49] If you’re really on the newer side of your journey and you feel resistance around that, then just start to track it on a Google sheet so you have some place where you can look to to track it. To see all the people that could be potential clients, and you can track your relationship to them. You can track the messages that you’ve sent to them.

[00:25:09] If they say, Oh, I love your offer, but now’s not a good time, maybe in three months, you have somewhere to go. To notate that, reach out again in three months and then so that you can follow up in three months time with another message and say, Hey, you know, I’m just checking back up to see if now is a good time for you to consider this offer.

[00:25:35] This is how people get to yes. This is how you really establish your love, trust, know factor, so they really start to love you, trust you, and know you. It’s this relationship that’s built over time. And as you build relationships with larger and larger numbers of people, you are going to get ghosted. It will happen.

[00:26:01] It’s part of it. It’s part of it. And that’s okay. The process, the journey is to grow that thicker and thicker skin, healing along the way when you need to heal, when something is triggering pain, that’s your emotional compass saying something is ready to be healed, and then using that outreach that you’re doing as feedback to see what’s working, what’s not, what’s ready to be tweaked and refined so you can start to heal.

[00:26:29] Again, tomorrow, and it’s that starting again and again and again, that gets you sending the right messages to the right people at the right time. And it gets the energetic momentum behind people saying yes. Eventually, those yeses are going to lead to the energetic momentum in your business so you really start to create real lasting revenue, or if you’re already doing that, those yeses are what’s going to take your business to the next level of income generation.

[00:27:07] All right. So my invitation for you this week is to do first a little reflection. Has the number of times I’ve been ghosted in my business got me down? Is there anything I’m ready to release? Is there anything that no longer serves me? Then I invite you to review your CRM if you already have one. And if you don’t, I invite you to imagine.

[00:27:37] What your CRM could look like and to start putting those pieces in to place, make it easy, make it simple, but also at the same time, challenge yourself a little bit. And all you’re looking to do is think about your system for tracking all the people who could be potential clients or customers. So if you don’t have that tracking system, how can you create it?

[00:28:07] And if you do have the tracking system, how can you make it a bit more sophisticated and take it to the next level? All right, my dear ones, that’s all I have for you this week. I am quite the person. a genius at creating CRM. I really do feel like it’s inside my zone of genius, plus I have all the healing abilities, you know, intuitive abilities, human design.

[00:28:33] So taking these things all together is quite powerful. Potent when creating your own CRM. So if you would like my help, if you would like me to join your business team for a while to help you set this CRM up in a way that leads to clients consistently enrolling in your offers, there’s a link in the show notes to get on my calendar to talk about, let’s have a conversation about the ways that I can help you.

[00:29:02] You can also send a message to Allyson at allysonscammell.com. I will email how it could look and I would love to schedule some time to explore what your business looks like. Where you want to grow to and how I could help you get there. I look forward to hearing from you and as always, until next time, may your soul guide the way.

[00:29:29] Hi, dear ones. Listen here. The Soul Blueprint Certification Program is a roadmap to becoming a more powerful coach, healer, writer, artist, or entrepreneur, and then earning more money. It’s the only certification program that reveals how to. Activate your five unique spiritual gifts so you can create massive soul aligned success in life and business.

[00:29:54] Learn more and enroll at allysonscammell.com/soulblueprint or if enrollment is closed you can join the soul list so you’ll be the first to know when the next cohort is opening up and you’ll also be eligible to receive special high value bonuses. Again, that’s allysonscammell.com/soulblueprint

00:01  Intro & listener review

04:01  Ghosting & energetic momentum

08:17  Love, trust, know

12:26  Consider the qualitative feedback

21:28  Uplevel your CRM system

25:34  Recap

27:07  Invitation & conclusion