Are you should-ing all over yourself? How to stop.

Do you ever “should all over yourself?”

In other words, do you ever bombard yourself with shoulds? I should exercise every day. I should eat healthier. I shouldn’t watch so much TV. I shouldn’t drink so much wine. I should be further along in my career. I should be doing, well, better.

I recently realized that my life was turning into a real “should show.”

It pertained to my 11-month old’s diet. My inner dialogue went something like this:

“I should feed Freya the healthiest food.”
“That means, I should feed her mostly fruits and vegetables.”
“But I should also ensure she gets lots of protein.”
“Oh, and I should add in the right balance of carbohydrates.”
“But I shouldn’t feed her too many carbohydrates.”
“And I definitely shouldn’t feed her anything with too much sugar or salt.”
“Certainly, I should feed her organic.”
“Actually, I should ensure it’s 100% organic.”
“And actually, I should ensure that it is grown locally so it doesn’t lose its nutrients in transit.”
“So I should buy all her food at the organic store.”
“No that’s too expensive, I should buy it at the organic outdoor market instead.”


When the should finally hit the fan, I stepped back and told myself a little mantra that helped me to stop shoulding on myself.

The simple mantra will instantly help you when you’re trapped in a should storm.

“I’m doing everything right.”

That’s right, you’re doing everything right.

Let me guess what you’re thinking….”Yeah, but Allyson, I’m really NOT doing everything right. I really should be doing better.”

Trust me when I say the mantra won’t make you complacent. Rather, “I’m doing everything right,” will help you to stop the shoulds, prioritize what’s really important, and give yourself credit for the HONEST EFFORT YOU’RE MAKING.

“I’m doing everything right,” can serve as a powerful motivator for you to do the best you can. Because that’s all you can ever do in any given moment – the best you can.

When I stopped shoulding and told myself “I’m doing everything right,” I took a moment to pat myself on the back for the effort I’ve been making to ensure Freya eats healthy.

The mantra also helped me to hit the reset button and prioritize how I can feed her the healthiest foods within my means and capabilities. I set the intention to go to the organic store once per week and the outdoor market when I could. I also made a list of questions about baby nutrition to ask at my next visit to the pediatrician. That’s it. I’m no longer thinking I should be doing better, I’m now knowing that I’m doing everything as right as I can.

When do you most have a tendency to should on yourself? Try the mantra and tell me how it goes. Leave a comment below.

To you + your dreams, XOXO

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